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WovenGalaxy
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Default Sep 25, 2020 at 08:05 PM
  #1
I moved to a new apt about 3 weeks ago. This was my 2nd move in 6 weeks. So I moved twice this year very rapidly. I'm settling in now.

I noticed some things. I'm "off" lately. Haven't done my dishes in a couple days, haven't been eating healthy - which is making me feel yucky, and haven't been exercising (walking) lately. It takes effort, but I feel I need these things back in my life to be happier and more grounded.

Also me and my Mom are a little off lately. She started back up at work, so her sched changed. And when I do go over, she's not present, always busy. And she's been talking politics a lot which I've asked her not to do. Once I even left specifically bc she ignored my wishes and kept talking about it. Maybe our relationship is changing. It makes me sad.

Last weekend, she wanted to come over to my apt to help w something. I didn't want her to, but finally said ok. At my apt, I blew up at her over something very small. She cried and to this day I feel so guilty and horrible about it. I'd eaten sugar that day which didn't help, and I just felt my space invaded. I truly wish I never blew up at her and I feel horrible about it.

Some things are going well for me. I'm being social, I'm looking for work, and taking classes. These are also life changes. Which can bring on stress. I need to be kind and gentle with myself. Also it takes effort, but eating healthy and walking really help me feel centered and positive.

I'm currently binging the Golden Girls (a happy place ), if anyone needs me.

Last edited by WovenGalaxy; Sep 25, 2020 at 08:26 PM..
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Default Sep 30, 2020 at 02:49 AM
  #2
Moved a few times in the past years. Tried going to classes but the social anxiety outweighs the long-term benefits. I’m glad I made the effort though.

Settling in here has taken some time and in fact I’m still settling. Too tired to finish dishes after late dinner, moved many of my quiet tasks to outside project. Started a small garden with snacking cucumber, tomatoes and a few other late harvest items like squash and pumpkin - lost almost all cucumber to late planting and early cold spell. Hoping to harvest a few soon. Other projects include trying to restore vintage chairs from being left out in rainy weather and creating more beds for planting flowers this upcoming spring. So much work, so much head ache and not enough time for myself. Wish I too could sit and binge watch a classic for a while but can’t seem to find time to travel to my safe places.
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Default Sep 30, 2020 at 06:42 AM
  #3
Transition can be a huge stressor and will often throw us off not only in terms of our routine but also in terms of our emotions and our ability to regulate. It can take some time to stabilize and find that normal again. It's probably important for you to take small, active steps to get back to the things that you want or need to feel that control and stability again. If you know that something is important to you, start making time for it. Put it in your phone. Set it aside and make it dedicated so something else doesn't interrupt. Rebuild your routine.

On the other part, the part about feeling guilty about your mother, it's important to know and remember that you are not responsible for someone else's emotions. What they feel and how they deal with it are their issue, not yours. If someone is upset you cannot necessarily fix that, and it also doesn't help to beat yourself up for not being able to do that.

It sounds like you're noticing good things in your life in the midst of the challenges. Celebrate and accept the positive, and give yourself permission to work on the rest. Recovery, happiness, and stability are a process. It's not a switch that gets flipped or a cycle on a machine that gets set and forgotten.
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Default Sep 30, 2020 at 08:36 AM
  #4
Thanks for sharing. I think its helpful to remind ourselves to be kind and gentle with selves. And I agree with quietlylost re recovery, happiness and stability being a process (and definitely not a switch or a cycle on a machine that gets set and forgotten)

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Default Sep 30, 2020 at 12:52 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by quietlylost View Post
Transition can be a huge stressor and will often throw us off not only in terms of our routine but also in terms of our emotions and our ability to regulate. It can take some time to stabilize and find that normal again. It's probably important for you to take small, active steps to get back to the things that you want or need to feel that control and stability again. If you know that something is important to you, start making time for it. Put it in your phone. Set it aside and make it dedicated so something else doesn't interrupt. Rebuild your routine.

On the other part, the part about feeling guilty about your mother, it's important to know and remember that you are not responsible for someone else's emotions. What they feel and how they deal with it are their issue, not yours. If someone is upset you cannot necessarily fix that, and it also doesn't help to beat yourself up for not being able to do that.

It sounds like you're noticing good things in your life in the midst of the challenges. Celebrate and accept the positive, and give yourself permission to work on the rest. Recovery, happiness, and stability are a process. It's not a switch that gets flipped or a cycle on a machine that gets set and forgotten.

Thank you so much for this. Its one of the most validating and understanding and informative things I've heard about where I'm at (transition / moving), in a while.
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Default Sep 30, 2020 at 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
Thanks for sharing. I think its helpful to remind ourselves to be kind and gentle with selves. And I agree with quietlylost re recovery, happiness and stability being a process (and definitely not a switch or a cycle on a machine that gets set and forgotten)

Yes.


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Default Sep 30, 2020 at 12:55 PM
  #7
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Originally Posted by ann bog View Post
Moved a few times in the past years. Tried going to classes but the social anxiety outweighs the long-term benefits. I’m glad I made the effort though.

Settling in here has taken some time and in fact I’m still settling. Too tired to finish dishes after late dinner, moved many of my quiet tasks to outside project. Started a small garden with snacking cucumber, tomatoes and a few other late harvest items like squash and pumpkin - lost almost all cucumber to late planting and early cold spell. Hoping to harvest a few soon. Other projects include trying to restore vintage chairs from being left out in rainy weather and creating more beds for planting flowers this upcoming spring. So much work, so much head ache and not enough time for myself. Wish I too could sit and binge watch a classic for a while but can’t seem to find time to travel to my safe places.

Sending hugs to you, ann bog. A garden sounds wonderful. So glad you have that.
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