How are you coping today? #3

I slept through yesterday's class (woke up at midnight yesterday then finally got back to sleep). Terribly inconvenient for and not a good message to send my student. Not good for my stats which help when I want to attract new students. Since I am still dealing with a lot of pain, I am not "kicking myself" about this. Oh well. I am not the same person I used to be.

I'm not coping. I didn't take my insulin yesterday and I haven't taken my night time meds. I just don't feel like it. I have to take my cat back to the vet in the morning. I've been focusing on the cats all morning. I have to clean their litter box next and refill their feeder. I can't even get up to get my coffee. I will have to force myself. Maybe I can reward myself. Op, no! I just went vegan. So food is not an option anymore. I suppose a meditation could be a reward. I don't have many choices.

I'm doing much better this morning & I'm so thankful for that.

On the whole (because great change, I'm aware, takes time) I'm bouncing back more satisfactorily from low points. A steady trasnsformation is coming about. I'm finally turning into the butterfly.😂👍

I am severely depressed.My sister,niece and I had a row about vaccine safety and whether my mother who is old,infirm,blind,immoble and lacks capacity should be given the covid vaccine.My sister agreed not to give consent,my niece got very angry,blamed me for my sister's decision and said I had put my mum in danger.She admonished me said I didn't understand the science and that I had dangerous beliefs that were wrong.

She threatened to cut off our relationship and not visit to see me at christmas..

Neither she or my sister care about how I feel and they are ostracising me.I let rip at my niece and told her how I felt she didn't make an effort with visiting mum and trying to connect and deepend bonds with her ,how she didn't have the right to interfere and be involved in this decision how her mum and I were responsible and close to mum.

I said she was arrogant and condescenting and insulting that she had thrown years of the love and support I had showed her in my face.My niece then apologised for causing offense and said we have to agree to disagree,but she left me feeling blamed and in the wrong.

I usually speak to my niece on a sunday via messager because she refuses to talk to me any other day of the week so I have been feeling for some time she neglects me and doesn't care to make time for me,I feel rejected cos I am always the one to initiate contact with her.

She made me severely depressed.I cancelled my zoom therapy today,I wanted to spend the day sleeping and nursing my wounds to escape of the pain of being unwanted and unloved.

I have decided not to initiate contact again with my niece and sister and wait and see if they initiate contact with me.I have a 40 ear abusive toxic relationship with my sister,she was abusive and coercively controlling to me and almost used my mental illness to bring about my death intentially and with motivation.

I am very,very upset and on a downward spiral.

In addition a woman who works at the coffee shop I go to with whom I chat often asked me if mum was to have the vaccine and I said no I have safety fears and she said if my mum and dad were alive I'd want them to have it almost inferring that I didn't care about my mum because if I cared I'd make sure she has the vaccine.In actual fact I do care about my mother a great deal and am not willing to risk the vaccine harming her.

I'm coping with a frappuccino. They help soothe my nerves.

He managed to do it again, disappointed me for my birthday. It’s only his preferences he’s capable of thinking about. He still doesn’t understand mine, although we’ve had the same go-round for countless years; his disappointing me, me crying and ruining the holiday for myself and others. I hate him for his inability to learn to make ME happy, and yet my emotions are so dependent on how he treats me

Today I'm coping quite ok. Not having negative feelings at the moment

Doing well today - I ran this morning and that helped boost my mood. Pottered about this afternoon. Seeing a friend outdoors tomorrow who I haven't seen in almost a year so looking forward to that!

@TishaBuv, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I know it doesn't feel good. Know that the only thing you can ever control is your emotions. Other people don't make us happy. Only we can make ourselves happy. Yes, disappointments happen. Just be understanding and prepared for it. Then move on. Sending good thoughts your way.

I mean, I’m coping...

I think I’m starting to wear people out even though that is not my intention and people say it’s not just me that’s the issue. I just feel like I’m to blame for everything.

I’m in between blaming and denying today. Blaming myself about stuff and denying other stuff.

None of my coping skills are working today.

Some difficulties today but I guess I'm managing pretty good.

Today I had a peaceful day,I recovered from the effects on me of the argument with my niece.I was able to go ahead with a zoom therapy session with my psychologist after I tried to cancel it cos I didn't feel I'd be able to talk.I expressed my feelings and frustrations to me psychologist,she understood me and was supportive,so after talking to her I felt I had unloaded my fears and feelings of rejection and feeling abandoned.

So right now I am feeling better and I feel good that for the next couple of days I can be at home peaceful and getting my chores done.I am glad to be in my own company and am enjoying the solitude.I am also looking forward to christmas.The depression is still hovering and my moods do go low,but Its nothing new,I just have to get through the black clouds and wait until the light reemerges and it will that much is certain.I did feel lethargic and unmotivated today.It is now gone midnight and before I get in bed there is a massive pile of dirty dished in the kitchen sink that I want to wash and dry and put away first.So well I am coping and got through today.

Thank you. You are right, and I know it in the moment, but my emotions take over. It’s been long term and pervasive over the same issues to the point of gaslight maddening. Otherwise, I probably would be okay about non major disappointments.

Thank you for sending good thoughts, I do need to have more of those!

I seem to be doing ok today. Mainly I could use more sleep for energy.

I'm coping Okay today. I have a lot on my plate but I mainly want to relax today. So I will tell myself to work for 15 minutes, then break for an hour. And so on until I have a handle on things.

There is always time.

I had a few flight or fight moments this morning. Also one thought of “I’m going to throw up.” But I don’t think I did as badly as I feel like I did.

Chicken soup and chocolate