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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
given |
#341
I slept through yesterday's class (woke up at midnight yesterday then finally got back to sleep). Terribly inconvenient for and not a good message to send my student. Not good for my stats which help when I want to attract new students. Since I am still dealing with a lot of pain, I am not "kicking myself" about this. Oh well. I am not the same person I used to be.
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, TishaBuv
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#342
I'm not coping. I didn't take my insulin yesterday and I haven't taken my night time meds. I just don't feel like it. I have to take my cat back to the vet in the morning. I've been focusing on the cats all morning. I have to clean their litter box next and refill their feeder. I can't even get up to get my coffee. I will have to force myself. Maybe I can reward myself. Op, no! I just went vegan. So food is not an option anymore. I suppose a meditation could be a reward. I don't have many choices.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, missbelle, mote.of.soul, TunedOut
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#343
I'm doing much better this morning & I'm so thankful for that.
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Deilla, Discombobulated, missbelle, mote.of.soul, TunedOut
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Mad Walker
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,091
(SuperPoster!)
6 21.9k hugs
given |
#344
On the whole (because great change, I'm aware, takes time) I'm bouncing back more satisfactorily from low points. A steady trasnsformation is coming about. I'm finally turning into the butterfly.😂👍
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, TunedOut
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
9 863 hugs
given |
#345
I am severely depressed.My sister,niece and I had a row about vaccine safety and whether my mother who is old,infirm,blind,immoble and lacks capacity should be given the covid vaccine.My sister agreed not to give consent,my niece got very angry,blamed me for my sister's decision and said I had put my mum in danger.She admonished me said I didn't understand the science and that I had dangerous beliefs that were wrong.
She threatened to cut off our relationship and not visit to see me at christmas.. Neither she or my sister care about how I feel and they are ostracising me.I let rip at my niece and told her how I felt she didn't make an effort with visiting mum and trying to connect and deepend bonds with her ,how she didn't have the right to interfere and be involved in this decision how her mum and I were responsible and close to mum. I said she was arrogant and condescenting and insulting that she had thrown years of the love and support I had showed her in my face.My niece then apologised for causing offense and said we have to agree to disagree,but she left me feeling blamed and in the wrong. I usually speak to my niece on a sunday via messager because she refuses to talk to me any other day of the week so I have been feeling for some time she neglects me and doesn't care to make time for me,I feel rejected cos I am always the one to initiate contact with her. She made me severely depressed.I cancelled my zoom therapy today,I wanted to spend the day sleeping and nursing my wounds to escape of the pain of being unwanted and unloved. I have decided not to initiate contact again with my niece and sister and wait and see if they initiate contact with me.I have a 40 ear abusive toxic relationship with my sister,she was abusive and coercively controlling to me and almost used my mental illness to bring about my death intentially and with motivation. I am very,very upset and on a downward spiral. In addition a woman who works at the coffee shop I go to with whom I chat often asked me if mum was to have the vaccine and I said no I have safety fears and she said if my mum and dad were alive I'd want them to have it almost inferring that I didn't care about my mum because if I cared I'd make sure she has the vaccine.In actual fact I do care about my mother a great deal and am not willing to risk the vaccine harming her. |
Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, TunedOut
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#346
I'm coping with a frappuccino. They help soothe my nerves.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, mote.of.soul, TunedOut
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Discombobulated
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,179
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,868 hugs
given |
#347
He managed to do it again, disappointed me for my birthday. It’s only his preferences he’s capable of thinking about. He still doesn’t understand mine, although we’ve had the same go-round for countless years; his disappointing me, me crying and ruining the holiday for myself and others. I hate him for his inability to learn to make ME happy, and yet my emotions are so dependent on how he treats me
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Discombobulated, TunedOut
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Breaking Dawn
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2020
Location: Germany
Posts: 8
3 |
#348
Today I'm coping quite ok. Not having negative feelings at the moment
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, TunedOut
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 4,684
(SuperPoster!)
4 11.6k hugs
given |
#349
Doing well today - I ran this morning and that helped boost my mood. Pottered about this afternoon. Seeing a friend outdoors tomorrow who I haven't seen in almost a year so looking forward to that!
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, TunedOut
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Breaking Dawn
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#350
Quote:
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,113
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,736 hugs
given |
#351
I mean, I’m coping...
I think I’m starting to wear people out even though that is not my intention and people say it’s not just me that’s the issue. I just feel like I’m to blame for everything. I’m in between blaming and denying today. Blaming myself about stuff and denying other stuff. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, TunedOut
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,511
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,696 hugs
given |
#352
None of my coping skills are working today.
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, TunedOut
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#353
Some difficulties today but I guess I'm managing pretty good.
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Deilla, TunedOut
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
9 863 hugs
given |
#354
Today I had a peaceful day,I recovered from the effects on me of the argument with my niece.I was able to go ahead with a zoom therapy session with my psychologist after I tried to cancel it cos I didn't feel I'd be able to talk.I expressed my feelings and frustrations to me psychologist,she understood me and was supportive,so after talking to her I felt I had unloaded my fears and feelings of rejection and feeling abandoned.
So right now I am feeling better and I feel good that for the next couple of days I can be at home peaceful and getting my chores done.I am glad to be in my own company and am enjoying the solitude.I am also looking forward to christmas.The depression is still hovering and my moods do go low,but Its nothing new,I just have to get through the black clouds and wait until the light reemerges and it will that much is certain.I did feel lethargic and unmotivated today.It is now gone midnight and before I get in bed there is a massive pile of dirty dished in the kitchen sink that I want to wash and dry and put away first.So well I am coping and got through today. |
Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, TunedOut
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,179
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,868 hugs
given |
#355
Quote:
Thank you for sending good thoughts, I do need to have more of those! __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given |
#356
I seem to be doing ok today. Mainly I could use more sleep for energy.
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Deilla, TunedOut
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,401
(SuperPoster!)
6 49.2k hugs
given |
#357
I'm coping Okay today. I have a lot on my plate but I mainly want to relax today. So I will tell myself to work for 15 minutes, then break for an hour. And so on until I have a handle on things.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Breaking Dawn, TunedOut
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 368
3 |
#358
There is always time.
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Breaking Dawn, Deilla, TunedOut
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 36,113
(SuperPoster!)
7 8,736 hugs
given |
#359
I had a few flight or fight moments this morning. Also one thought of “I’m going to throw up.” But I don’t think I did as badly as I feel like I did.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Breaking Dawn, TunedOut
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#360
Chicken soup and chocolate
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Breaking Dawn, TunedOut
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