Feeling like a selfish baby

sarahsweets · Oct 13, 2020 at 06:40 AM

Hey @divine1966

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

But what’s happening with this thread is likely what’s happening with other threads of yours and is an explanation why people don’t reply. You are reading other people’s threads and replying to other people on other threads but you don’t go back to your own threads to even read what people said.

Wow. That hits me in the gut but you are right. I get it now and appreciate you telling me. I expected you to post and be honest. I know people may think you are too blunt but I asked for honesty and bluntness often accompanies honesty.

Quote:

Heck one time you asked a question on the topic I am an expert on and I spent long time with detailed posts and you never even acknowledged. I assumed you got mad at something I said so I hesitated to reply to your posts for awhile. But now I am sure you just never ever read it.

And it’s pretty much the case with most of your threads.

I feel like a total asshole right now. But I want to validate what you are saying and I hear you. I cant believe I did that to you. If you are ever worried that I am mad or something reach out, we are friendly enough where I would get back to you.

Quote:

Hence fewer people will reply. It’s not that other threads are fluffy , it’s just that people read replies and engage with posters. You yourself engage with people on other threads, just never on your own. I likely won’t be replying anymore as you seem to be using your own threads as blogs and journals and replies aren’t needed which is fine.

Holy cow, I am not gonna lie but it did bring some tears to my eyes to see you say that. I always read what you post but I can see now it is on other threads and not my own. I have never thought of my posts like a blog or journal and I do not like that it seems that way.

Hope everything works out with your daughter. Hope baby gets better too, perhaps pediatrician has a suggestion re colic. Maybe something bothering him? Is he due for a check up? Well you likely won’t read this so I bow out[/QUOTE]

divine1966 · Oct 13, 2020 at 07:04 AM

I didn’t mean to upset you. We all do things how we need to do them. There’s really no right or wrong way to do it. I think it just hit the nerve a bit that you asked why we don’t reply despite the fact that you don’t read or acknowledge replies. I guess i took it a bit personal. But we are good.

Hopes suggestion of “subscribed” threads is a good one. Good idea.

Have Hope · 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Thanks for your honesty @HaveHope I really try and take constructive criticism and honesty the best I can. I do not argue or defend myself when the person is right.
I thought about that and was hoping my paragraph breaks might help. On another forum I belong to the mods ask for breaks in long posts. I guess I have to try harder to be more succint.

Right again and I am only now realizing it, I am on PC everyday and try to respond to a lot of people's threads but not remembering my own and being considerate enough to return is really sh*tty. I think I am going to ask people to use the mention function for me. This isnt an excuse but my ADHD sometimes makes me forget or overlook these things of my own and get focused on others' posts. Or something is a problem at the moment and becomes consuming and keeps me off and when I return I've forgotten.

OMG! I hope it doesn't seem like my MO.

No, i am really hearing you and I want to validate what you are saying.

What I try and do with my own longer posts is make much shorter paragraphs - of just a few sentences each. This is what is suggested for writing articles on the web - to make longer content easier to read and digest.

What's also nice is when the OP replies to you when you've put great thought into a post for them. I have a hard time sometimes and can take it personally when the OP doesn't acknowledge my post and only just replies to one out of several posts. I am working on trying not to take offense.

In my own threads, I try to acknowledge everyone's posts in one way or another. If I cannot reply to every single post, then I try to give hugs and thanks.

There's another suggestion for you on your own threads - to acknowledge each person's post with a hugs or a thanks.

Open Eyes · 12:33 PM

I think you do fine Sarah. You have a lot on your plate. You deserve to vent when you feel overwhelmed.

It’s definitely life changing when you have a baby. When the baby tends to colic it’s very hard on the mother who is often sleep deprived. You are doing your best to try and help your daughter.

sarahsweets · Oct 13, 2020 at 12:55 PM

Yes I am working on using the thanks and hugs buttons more. I always forget.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

What I try and do with my own longer posts is make much shorter paragraphs - of just a few sentences each. This is what is suggested for writing articles on the web - to make longer content easier to read and digest.

What's also nice is when the OP replies to you when you've put great thought into a post for them. I have a hard time sometimes and can take it personally when the OP doesn't acknowledge my post and only just replies to one out of several posts. I am working on trying not to take offense.

In my own threads, I try to acknowledge everyone's posts in one way or another. If I cannot reply to every single post, then I try to give hugs and thanks.

There's another suggestion for you on your own threads - to acknowledge each person's post with a hugs or a thanks.

Mountaindewed · Oct 13, 2020 at 09:01 PM

I didn’t see you post for a couple days and I was concerned. I’m not on the relationship sub. I do care and I like your posts.

RoxanneToto · Oct 14, 2020 at 02:57 PM

I like your posts, but personally I don’t feel I have too much to offer. I don’t have children and I’ve never been married, so there’s not much I can really respond to. Plus I’m probably a bit too “rarghhhh!”, doom and gloom, “kick them to the curb” right now to offer helpful advice on complex relationships, because of my own issues I need to work on (although I do realise not everyone can/wants to wash their hands of everyone they have issues with!)
I don’t have a problem with your posts in general, though.

Bill3 · Oct 14, 2020 at 05:14 PM

I am completely fine with your posts but often I don't have ideas to help. I acknowledge and admire you as being knowledgeable and being very honest and caring about your daughter in particular. I ask myself what I could I possibly have to say that sarahsweets has not already thought of?

But now in thinking about this I realize that I could perhaps be helpful simply by giving a hug or acknowledging the difficulty of the situation, something along those lines. Perhaps the visible evidence of being heard and cared about would be uplifting for you.

WovenGalaxy · Oct 14, 2020 at 08:32 PM

Everyone wants to be seen and heard. You're not a selfish baby

Fuzzybear · 08:21 PM

I do not think anyone here is a selfish baby.

(deleted)

Oct 25, 2020 at 09:58 PM

Only 1 or 2 posters ever reply to my threads and sometimes no one replies to my threads. Who knows why some people's threads garner more responses than others. Who knows. Do I take it personally when I see someone has over 500 responses and I have like, 1, response to a thread I created? Of course I do. But I can't control what motivates people to respond to my threads. So, just try not to take it so personally. At least you get responses to your threads sarah.

Fuzzybear · Oct 25, 2020 at 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motts

Only 1 or 2 posters ever reply to my threads and sometimes no one replies to my threads. Who knows why some people's threads garner more responses than others. Who knows. Do I take it personally when I see someone has over 500 responses and I have like, 1, response to a thread I created? Of course I do. But I can't control what motivates people to respond to my threads. So, just try not to take it so personally. At least you get responses to your threads sarah.

I also sometimes find it something of a mystery as to why some threads garner so many replies and others do not.

This is (obviously) an example of a thread which garners many replies (including many insights)

zapatoes · Oct 29, 2020 at 11:37 PM

@sarahsweets, I’ve read your responses to other’s posts and your replies are well thought out and provide useful information too. Good question and not sure why some posts get more replies than others. Keep posting and it is therapeutic to post your thoughts and feelings too.

divine1966 · Oct 31, 2020 at 04:11 AM

There is an ongoing thread of yours about having people over and you actually asked questions on it. People keep coming back posting on it @sarahsweets. I actually wondered how that party went and if you did it

Fuzzybear · Nov 04, 2020 at 11:58 PM

@sarahsweets - if you had the party, how did it go?

sarahsweets · Nov 05, 2020 at 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

@sarahsweets - if you had the party, how did it go?

It went not so bad. I have a laundry room that goes out towards the back that is always a mess. Baskets and clothes and other stored stuff. I started to freak out because I never got it cleaned up with all the other stuff I had to do and its the main way people go into the back of the house. I decided that I just had to let that go and not freak out about it because there was so much else to do. I am not perfect and nothing ever seems right but I decided to just let it go. The rest of the house was ok. My BIL and his family are well off and my house was built in the 1700's so its quite ramshackle but I had to just let it go and focus on the point of the get together. I was exhausted because I was up and down the whole time as hostess and I wanted everyone to have what they needed. It turned out nice though I think. I am working on not comparing myself to others.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Feeling like a selfish baby

My Support Forums

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,106 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Oct 13, 2020 at 11:54 AM #24 I think you do fine Sarah. You have a lot on your plate. You deserve to vent when you feel overwhelmed. It’s definitely life changing when you have a baby. When the baby tends to colic it’s very hard on the mother who is often sleep deprived. You are doing your best to try and help your daughter. Last edited by Open Eyes; Oct 13, 2020 at 12:33 PM..
	Reply With Quote

Mountaindewed Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2016 Location: Where the sidewalk ends Posts: 36,091 (SuperPoster!) 7 8,728 hugs given	Oct 13, 2020 at 09:01 PM #26 I didn’t see you post for a couple days and I was concerned. I’m not on the relationship sub. I do care and I like your posts. __________________ Ridin' with Biden
	Reply With Quote

WovenGalaxy Magnate Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 2,854 4 4,842 hugs given	Oct 14, 2020 at 08:32 PM #29 Everyone wants to be seen and heard. You're not a selfish baby
	Reply With Quote

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Oct 24, 2020 at 07:53 PM #30 I do not think anyone here is a selfish baby. (deleted) __________________ Last edited by Fuzzybear; Oct 24, 2020 at 08:21 PM..
	Reply With Quote

zapatoes Grand Magnate Member Since Sep 2018 Location: Islandia Posts: 4,263 (SuperPoster!) 5 10.9k hugs given	Oct 29, 2020 at 11:37 PM #33 @sarahsweets, I’ve read your responses to other’s posts and your replies are well thought out and provide useful information too. Good question and not sure why some posts get more replies than others. Keep posting and it is therapeutic to post your thoughts and feelings too.
	Reply With Quote

divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,358 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Oct 31, 2020 at 04:11 AM #34 There is an ongoing thread of yours about having people over and you actually asked questions on it. People keep coming back posting on it @sarahsweets. I actually wondered how that party went and if you did it
	Reply With Quote

Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	Nov 04, 2020 at 11:58 PM #35 @sarahsweets - if you had the party, how did it go? __________________
	Reply With Quote