I Just Needed Some Time

I've been feeling really depressed about work lately-- a lot of people have quit and we are so slammed with Rx's it's overwhelming. I only stayed for three hours today-- I just needed to take a time out and seriously think about where I'm headed. I work in the medical field, but it holds very little interest for me. I chose to get a job in this field because it's a steady source of income-- after all, come hell or high water, people will need their meds. But what I really love doing is making art. I want to make a career out of illustration (my dream would be to design an album for a rock cover). But I feel so lost on how to get there. The last time I took a job that thrilled me and inspired me, I got burned really bad from it. So I chose to go the safe route this time and take a job that has no meaning to me. But now I feel smothered and stifled. I feel like I'm not doing what I was meant to do. And quite honestly, although I'm very good at my job, it is really burning me out. I couldn't do it today. I feel guilty though, because I know I should be grateful for even having a steady source of income right now. And I am. I just really need to pause and think about things. I'm not sure what kind of response I'm hoping for on here, I just needed to get this out.

I've gotta say, just as to the part where you say your dream is making art, that I understand that, as I enjoy writing and making music. And everything points to me not doing that because it seems like I will just never make money doing that. And it sucks to realize that. I know it's like something that I dream about and something that I should be able to bring into life, right. But no, I have a mental illness and whatever other stuff going on so I have to get a job and make money and stuff.

I personally have never been able to reconcile my career ambitions with my passions. I hear you on getting burned out with work, too. I quit a job over the summer that would have paid, well, not too well, but still would have gotten me some independence. But I quit.

Anyway, I know a lot of people may not have that kind of flexibility to just quit a job like that.

Yeah... I definitely don't have the flexibility to just up and quit. I don't know. I refuse to believe there is no way I can make an artistic career work.

Is there a way you can do both (stay at your stable but boring job for now AND make art)? I say that bc it may not serve you financially to just up and quit. But you could plan for it.

In terms of making money through illustration, this society doesn't often reward artists (I'm an artist type too btw and its something I'm well aware of). But yes, it could be done, imo. You say you don't know where to start in making money through your art. Why not start here: research what it would take to make money with your art. What would you have to do? How would you do it? Would you have to hone your craft? Make a portfolio? Network w people? There are books out there as well as many online articles on how to do this. You could make an etsy shop and sell your work there, too.

Also have you thought about artistic jobs like graphic design?

Hi WovenGalaxy... thanks for the input :-) Oh I don't plan to quit just yet, because this job is what pays my bills, clothes me, puts food on the table, etc. I have looked at a few articles on illustration as a career, and I have a devientart page, but it doesn't get a lot of viewers. I've seen classes on SkillShare (to which I subscribe) that offer some courses on entrepreneurship and illustration, but I haven't had the chance to look at them. I think a lot of it, in retrospect, is that I need a major push to get things started.