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Old 11-21-2020, 05:36 PM   #1
Ifeelstupid
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Confused Anger

I like my therapist. I truly do—he is the most empathic person I know. But I am angry. I’m angry because he is trying to support me during this depressive episode. I’m angry that he wants me to reframe. I’m angry because I want to be left alone yet I continue to see him. I don’t understand myself. I ache and ache and break down sobbing if I spend any time thinking of the losses I’ve experience since March. I just want to sink into this pit of despair and be done with it.

I physically ache. My heart hurts. Does that happen to anyone else? Like your chest is caving in and there’s a deep dark ache? How can emotions physically hurt like that? I understand a headache or stomach kind of physical pain brought on by emotions but this is like the emotions themselves hurt.
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Old 11-21-2020, 11:40 PM   #2
Open Eyes
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Can you share what the loss is?

The answer to your question is yes emotional grief can hurt and ache.

Usually if you need to talk about it it means that you are repeating to help yourself realize that it really did happen. And there is no way to change it. Then it takes time to learn how to navigate your life without whatever the loss is.
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Old 11-22-2020, 02:22 AM   #3
Ifeelstupid
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Thanks Open Eyes. The losses include a job that I loved in a community I loved. And the many losses due to the pandemic—smaller things like my kids’ activities—graduation, theater, college, etc —and more significant —deaths due to pandemic.
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Old 11-22-2020, 03:22 AM   #4
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Default Re: Anger

It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, so it’s understandable to feel the way you do. Grieving is also a personal thing; it can’t be rushed, but it is better for you in the long run to allow yourself to go through it. I appreciate it feels incredibly difficult, though.
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Old 11-22-2020, 10:12 AM   #5
Ifeelstupid
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Thanks Roxanne
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Old 11-22-2020, 10:46 AM   #6
mote.of.soul
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Default Re: Anger

It does sound to me like you're literally experiencing the 'heartache' that life can have on a person @Ifeelstupid. Perhaps you just need to sit down and let a few tears come because so much anger - and I know what that's like - is really so much hurt.
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