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Old 11-04-2018, 12:34 PM #151
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Default Ifs and if only's

If I had found a
Workplace where they
Took the view
That my problems
Were in the past
And they accepted
Me as a person
I was there and then.
It would be one less
Source of fear for me.
I lived in fear of Fred
At home and I
Knew that I could
Be dismissed from
Any job for lying
On my initial application.
If I had got my
Footing secure in
The right work place,
I would be more
At ease and open
And I may have
Said now it's time
I got back out
With the girls at weekend.
Fred could have
Went out whenever
He wanted but I
Think he did not
Want to bump
Into his old posse.
He maybe was not
A natural foot baller.
They were the worst
Team in the league
And that did not
Resound well with Fred.
No, they are shy^e.
But we were out
In pubs ALL the time.
We just went
Out together as a couple.
He was in a bit of a rut.
When he fell out
With some of his posse
After his holiday,
He never tried to
Find new people
To go out with.
I said set up facebook
As it's less intimidating
Than texting or phoning.
I bet someone will speak
To you first and you
Can get back in touch.
I can't stomach that
Social media sh^t
It is all fake. He would say.
If I told you once
I told you a million times
The bridges are all burnt!!
But I felt that they
Did not accept me
And he made me feel
Like he was forced
To choose between
His main group of friends,
And to have a girlfriend.
He still had other friends
But he missed his posse.
I am not sure
He had a best friend
In that group.
I asked him who he
Considered his best pal?
And he just avoided talking.
Even for a guy
He was really shut
Off emotionally. He
Told me that it
Was a girl in high
School that ended
Their relationships, fault.
I knew he would
Blame a girl. And
If I tried to speak
To him at night
Yes, SPEAK to him
Mr eyeballing me,
He would complain
He missed the end
Of the film on t.v.
And a dream? Like
Visit a country.
Dreams pffft I am
A grafter, I got
A job at the sweet
Shop when I was
Twelve lifting the veg
And potatoes and since
Then I have been
A self made man.
I don't have the stones
To try and sell ice
To the eskimo's
I am an honest man.
So no dream car?
You never fancy any actress?
Well maybe this mountain biker.
You never go to clubs?
I got thrown out of karate.
Why doesn't that surprise me.
I abandoned pillow talk.
And Fred ate so fast
Dinner talk wasn't long.
That pizza we ordered
In scribbles, Fred
Ate a large to himself.
The waitress was so rude.
If I had a more sedentary job
I would have made soups
And salads some nights,
With either a little cheese
Or bread or pasta to
Fill it out for myself.
And Fred could have
Had his meat or more carbs
Afterwards that I would
Have prepped. I never
Finished a small kebab where
He ate a large and
I would cook him
A full English at
The weekend. I would
Jog or use the punchbag.
But Fred was tired
From his work but
He would never admit
To having a hard day.
Every single morning
Up to lunch is hoaching
I could use someone else.
There is never enough
Hours in the day for me.
And he was in
A terrible mood every
Day after work even
When he lived
At his families.
They will all remember
The fits he would
Throw or insults
He would hurl at
People just because
He was worn out.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 11-04-2018 at 01:09 PM.
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Old 11-04-2018, 04:09 PM #152
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Default The prodigy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
Delete: what I am. Was going to say what am I going to be, when I grew up. A better person than you crossed my mind each time.
Ammendment: lazyitis
I think uncle a. had passed away before my blood father returned to work. But I remember how I glowed red through a mix of embarrassment and anger, when thug, asked If I knew him well and would be ok to teach and train that day. I stammered that my dad must have forgot I had a new mobile and I only really knew him to see him. I had to partially lie because of the feelings racing through me. But truth be told thug was a notorious gossip and I voiced how annoyed I was that he found out before me. Even if I did distance myself from my blood fathers side, I should have asked my father directly and been angry at him. I did bottle this up, and it would have added to my reason for falling out with him not too much later down the line. He never phoned me at Christmas or on my birthday. He never phoned. Shows up when I am 8 years old and expects me to welcome him with open arms? What did I live on, while he was gone? Fresh air? Cupboard to Narnia? Adopted by wolves? I am glad I got to know my blood father. Otherwise as long as he lived I would wonder what he was like. And I think your mini stroke did mark the end of your working days. But you sat and not only lied to your only little girl but yourself. I listened when you said the doctors could not fix your leg because it was a problem located in the brain too complex for surgery from a bang to the head when doing up the kitchen for my mum. But the doctors told you they did know, that it must have been the stroke. Then I felt guilty for suspecting you were lying. When all you did was lie to me. You were doing a job for my mum when you banged your head. This tinned rice is much better than your mums home made.This is how you cook bacon. I choked on yours. Cut the fat off meticulously for years at home and cafes until said you won't find fat on the potatoes and then I asked for it crispy and ate it.
You had a S.a.d lamp. It was not depression. When you got.back to work you automatically began to systematically lose the limp. Fred was not one for mincing words and he saw you and heard from others. Left your leg in the flaming army joked Fred trying to lighten the disbelief as I watched you from afar up town. I had so much to process. Hurt, betrayal, anger and doubt. I never trusted Fred when he told me about the holiday until an old class mate confirmed his story. That was probably partly your fault. Fred was a lovely at the start and I never asked him or bribed him to visit me in hospital. And I did make it hard for him to get close.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 11-04-2018 at 04:45 PM.
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Old 11-04-2018, 04:53 PM #153
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Default Re: The prodigy.

[QUOTE=Balthascar810;6324777]I think uncle a. had passed away before my blood father returned to work. But I remember how I glowed red through a mix of embarrassment and anger, when thug, asked If I knew him well and would be ok to teach and train that day. I stammered that my dad must have forgot I had a new mobile and I only really knew him to see him. I had to partially lie because of the feelings racing through me. But truth be told thug was a notorious gossip and I voiced how annoyed I was that he found out before me. Even if I did distance myself from my blood fathers side, I should have asked my father directly and been angry at him. I did bottle this up, and it would have added to my reason for falling out with him not too much later down the line. He never phoned me at Christmas or on my birthday. He never phoned. Shows up when I am 8 years old and expects me to welcome him with open arms? What did I live on, while he was gone? Fresh air? Cupboard to Narnia? Adopted by wolves? I am glad I got to know my blood father. Otherwise as long as he lived I would wonder what he was like. And I think your mini stroke did mark the end of your working days. But you sat and not only lied to your only little girl but yourself. I listened when you said the doctors could not fix your leg because it was a problem located in the brain too complex for surgery from a bang to the head when doing up the kitchen for my mum. But the doctors told you they did know, that it must have been the stroke. Then I felt guilty for suspecting you were lying. When all you did was lie to me. You were doing a job for my mum when you banged your head. This tinned rice is much better than your mums home made.This is how you cook bacon. I choked on yours. Cut the fat off meticulously for years at home and cafes until another relative noticed and said you won't find fat on the potatoes on my plate and from then on I asked for it crispy and ate it without having to worry.
You had a S.a.d lamp. It was not depression. When you got.back to work you automatically began to systematically lose the limp. Fred was not one for mincing words and he saw you and heard from others. Left your leg in the flaming army, must have went on a secret mission and found it again joked Fred trying to lighten the disbelief as I watched you from afar up town. I had so much to process. Hurt, betrayal, anger. I never trusted Fred when he told me about the holiday until an old class mate confirmed his story. That was probably partly your fault. Fred was lovely at the start and I never asked him or bribed him to visit me in hospital like you. And I did make it hard for him to get close. I did not trust my owm judgement. I did not trust Fred. I thought he would cheat on me in a heart beat with his friends egging him on. But he never did. He fought hard to keep me. And my family thought why would a young man do that when I ended up in hospital. I was more than hard work when I was recovering. And Fred was actually very patient. And if he found an emotional attachment in a snow patrol song to how he saw things then I should try and be more understanding.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:08 AM #154
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Default Re: Ifs and if only's

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
If I had found a
Workplace where they
Took the view
That my problems
Were in the past
And they accepted
Me as a person
I was there and then.
It would be one less
Source of fear for me.
I lived in fear of Fred
At home and I
Knew that I could
Be dismissed from
Any job for lying
On my initial application.
If I had got my
Footing secure in
The right work place,
I would be more
At ease and open
And I may have
Said now it's time
I got back out
With the girls at weekend.
Fred could have
Went out whenever
He wanted but I
Think he did not
Want to bump
Into his old posse.
He maybe was not
A natural foot baller.
They were the worst
Team in the league
And that did not
Resound well with Fred.
No, they are shy^e.
But we were out
In pubs ALL the time.
We just went
Out together as a couple.
He was in a bit of a rut.
When he fell out
With some of his posse
After his holiday,
He never tried to
Find new people
To go out with.
I said set up facebook
As it's less intimidating
Than texting or phoning.
I bet someone will speak
To you first and you
Can get back in touch.
I can't stomach that
Social media sh^t
It is all fake. He would say.
If I told you once
I told you a million times
The bridges are all burnt!!
But I felt that they
Did not accept me
And he made me feel
Like he was forced
To choose between
His main group of friends,
And to have a girlfriend.
He still had other friends
But he missed his posse.
I am not sure
He had a best friend
In that group.
I asked him who he
Considered his best pal?
And he just avoided talking.
Even for a guy
He was really shut
Off emotionally. He
Told me that it
Was a girl in high
School that ended
Their relationships, fault.
I knew he would
Blame a girl. And
If I tried to speak
To him at night
Yes, SPEAK to him
Mr eyeballing me,
He would complain
He missed the end
Of the film on t.v.
And a dream? Like
Visit a country.
Dreams pffft I am
A grafter, I got
A job at the sweet
Shop when I was
Twelve lifting the veg
And potatoes and since
Then I have been
A self made man.
I don't have the stones
To try and sell ice
To the eskimo's
I am an honest man.
So no dream car?
You never fancy any actress?
Well maybe this mountain biker.
You never go to clubs?
I got thrown out of karate.
Why doesn't that surprise me.
I abandoned pillow talk.
And Fred ate so fast
Dinner talk wasn't long.
That pizza we ordered
In scribbles, Fred
Ate a large to himself.
The waitress was so rude.
If I had a more sedentary job
I would have made soups
And salads some nights,
With either a little cheese
Or bread or pasta to
Fill it out for myself.
And Fred could have
Had his meat or more carbs
Afterwards that I would
Have prepped. I never
Finished a small kebab where
He ate a large and
I would cook him
A full English at
The weekend. I would
Jog or use the punchbag.
But Fred was tired
From his work but
He would never admit
To having a hard day.
Every single morning
Up to lunch is hoaching
I could use someone else.
There is never enough
Hours in the day for me.
And he was in
A terrible mood every
Day after work even
When he lived
At his families.
They will all remember
The fits he would
Throw or insults
He would hurl at
People just because
He was worn out.
I am a growing loon.
Fred did my head in.
Ate a litre of ice cream.
I am a growing loon.
Your the only person
I have seen finsh
Our mixed grill.
I am a growing loon.
Stovies are supposed
To have gravy in them
Not dry like yours.
My mum always
Puts gravy through it.
Fred did you never
Notice that your mum
Makes a bigger lunch
For your dad?
And at tea time,
His plate is twice
As full as yours?
I know it has
Nothing to do with
Your appetite being smaller.
Your mum is not
Perfect either so
Lay off my mum
In the future,
I do not need you
Reminding me of
Them choosing the
Pub over giving
Me a head start!
Or the only thing
Going through is
Your supper through
The window.
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Old 11-06-2018, 08:26 AM #155
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Default Re: Petals

My red headed friend
Says: where does your
Brother get money
To go to the chip shop
Everynight then. This
Was a statement of
We know something
You don't, rather than
Expecting me to answer.
She was exaggerating of course.
But I got pissed.
I go to my Grandparents
And they have fresh
Food from the bakers
Butchers and fishmomgers
All the time I said.
I can go whenever. But
What is point of
Making waves, I just
Want a peaceful life.
I will just have to marry
A chef, since my mum's
Cooking isn't Jamie Olivers standard.
My brothers fave is chicken
But dad hates it
So mum only does
Now and then. What
She can cook she
Can cook well. Just
Not a wide variety.
She is a plain jane.
My bro is the fuss pot!!
See when we have
A chinese he dips
Chips into curry sauce
And thats all he will eat.
Chips and curry sauce.

There was this night.
My mum tried to make
An omelette and Fred
Witnessed the disaster.
It was watery but burnt
On the outside. And
He went: the dog
Will turn it's nose
Up at that slop. Fuking minging.
And even though
I couldn't eat it,
I fell out with Fred later.
You never say anything
Nice about anyone,
Not even me! I claimed.
And he put his
Foot down until
The tyres screeched and sped
Off when he dropped me off.
He called her a weirdo
Because the noise
Her slippers made
When she skited through
The lobby and I
Told him my mum
Was born with
Clubbed feet and had
Caliper as a child.
She had a tough time.
And I expected him
To say "oh s^it, you
Never told me that."
He just breathed through
His nose hmph,and said,
Whatever you say.
I did not ask for an apology
Or say you could
At least apologise
For being so insensitive.
Which would have
Been the best solution.
He got my hackles up,
And I said "you just
Have a chip on your
Shoulder because your
Mum collects aliens."
I did not think it was weird.
Just different and quirky.
But Fred counter acted:
Rather that than
Pi^s their money
Up against a brick wall, like yours.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 11-06-2018 at 08:46 AM.
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Old 11-06-2018, 12:33 PM #156
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Default Re: Petals

Hopped over the fence
To visit my red head friend.
They did say come
On, just in and out once.
Each time they would
Try and each time
I would struggle. And
Everytime they would
Change their mind
And let me up,
Knowing that it
Was wrong to use force.
He would try and persuade me
Only once, to see
What it feels like
Then out again.
It won't be sore.
I would shout "jolene"
The babysitter and he
Would cover my
Mouth with his hands.
Keep saying, only
One time in and out
Then i'll leave you alone.
See what it feels like.
But I refused. And
Never caved in.
So I have never
Engaged in anything
Against my consent.
Against my better judgement.
Being self destructive.
I was angry at her
When I said first consensual.
But why "a friend" would
Tell anyone who
Asked if I had a boyfriend,
That no she is
Actually a virgin.
That was wrong.
I was tipsy
When she said wait
For a special guy
And not one just
After one thing.
And I said, like Ryan.
I knew she was cut
Up about it.
But knowing my
Childhood buddy I think
She still would have
Told them that
Very very sensitive
Slice of personal info.
Even if I had
Not let that comment slip.
Anyone with common
Sense would not
Do that to a friend.
I was hurt not just
Angry. And because
We were friends
I did not say
They were lying.
I just said it
Is none of your
Business when I
Was asked by
Quite a few male
Colleagues and a
Female one tried
To set me up
On a date with someone.
He had a great
Sense of humour
Witty and cleverly on point.
But I was young
And atttaction was
On my mind. And
I felt he tried
Too hard to be funny
And some of his
Jokes grated on me.
Like saying I would
Make a nice wife
When doing the flowers.
And when me and
A co-worker were
Talking away he
Said, I need one
Of you vegetables to
Help a customer
As we worked on produce.
Maybe he felt spurned.
But I did go
Off the rails.
And I was fortunate
To have been seeing
Fred at the time
All things considering.
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Old 11-06-2018, 12:55 PM #157
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Default Re: Petals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
My red headed friend
Says: where does your
Brother get money
To go to the chip shop
Everynight then. This
Was a statement of
We know something
You don't, rather than
Expecting me to answer.
She was exaggerating of course.
But I got pissed.
I go to my Grandparents
And they have fresh
Food from the bakers
Butchers and fishmomgers
All the time I said.
I can go whenever. But
What is point of
Making waves, I just
Want a peaceful life.
I will just have to marry
A chef, since my mum's
Cooking isn't Jamie Olivers standard.
My brothers fave is chicken
But dad hates it
So mum only does
Now and then. What
She can cook she
Can cook well. Just
Not a wide variety.
She is a plain jane.
My bro is the fuss pot!!
See when we have
A chinese he dips
Chips into curry sauce
And thats all he will eat.
Chips and curry sauce.

There was this night.
My mum tried to make
An omelette and Fred
Witnessed the disaster.
It was watery but burnt
On the outside. And
He went: the dog
Will turn it's nose
Up at that slop. Fuking minging.
And even though
I couldn't eat it,
I fell out with Fred later.
You never say anything
Nice about anyone,
Not even me! I claimed.
And he put his
Foot down until
The tyres screeched and sped
Off when he dropped me off.
He called her a weirdo
Because the noise
Her slippers made
When she skited through
The lobby and I
Told him my mum
Was born with
Clubbed feet and had
Caliper as a child.
She had a tough time.
And I expected him
To say "oh s^it, you
Never told me that."
He just breathed through
His nose hmph,and said,
Whatever you say.
I did not ask for an apology
Or say you could
At least apologise
For being so insensitive.
Which would have
Been the best solution.
He got my hackles up,
And I said "you just
Have a chip on your
Shoulder because your
Mum collects aliens."
I did not think it was weird.
Just different and quirky.
But Fred counter acted:
Rather that than
Pi^s their money
Up against a brick wall, like yours.
Calipers.
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Old 11-06-2018, 01:15 PM #158
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Default Re: Petals

I felt that in our
Relationship that Fred
Had to come out on top
And would try and
Score points against me.
I bought cucumber
Eye cream and Fred
Bought the most
Expensive mens eye
Cream on the market.
He would not get
Wrinkles before me.
And when he told
His family my dental
Bill cost more than his
By all of ten pounds
Because I needed an extraction
Everyones eyes darted
Around silently when
They felt my eyes
Burn into Freds.
And when we left
Someone was sure
To say they are going
To have a tiff when
They get home.
I told him a relationship
Is not about who
Wins or loses.
We are supposed
To try and compromise.
But everything revolves
Around you. You
Think that because
I have been in hospital,
I will put up with
You saying What
You please. You
Are not just complacent,
You do not respect me
The way you should.
So your a fuking
Jungle bunny now.
He put on a high voice, sung
R.e.s.p.e.c.t. sock it to me...
And he literally put
His back and laughed.
Sure you don't like
The taste of the furry cup
Better than me,
Because you have not
Done me since
I left my mam and dads.
And as usual it
Comes back down
To what you want!
I say taken a back
By the audacious comment.
He said that
I thought I was intellectual
Because I could
Read a book and watch
A t.v. programme at same time.
Remember I look after you.
He snaps: girls who can
Do two thing's at once
Really are s^it drivers.
I know I am not
Good at parking in
Tight spots but it is
Your fault as I
Had a huge gap after
My test because you
Wouldn't let me
Be a named driver
So of course I would
Be out of practice.
Well, while you sit
Reading rememeber
Who looks after who
In my house.
I tell him if he wants
A better car to go
And find a job that
He gets over time with.
Because he hasn't done
Any for years.
So he stopped asking
Me to suck him off.
And to be truthful,
Fred never once
Asked me if I
Enjoyed it, or if I ever..
I thought every man
Wanted to know if
They managed to
Get their partner off.
I gripped the pillow once
When it was uncomfy
And he said must be
Doing it right.
Think of Scotland.
Just think of Scotland.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 11-06-2018 at 01:42 PM.
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Old 11-07-2018, 08:27 AM #159
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Default He who casts the first stone

[QUOTE=Balthascar810;6324429]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810 View Post
The only thing I ever
Called Fred was a saint.
Your such a saint.
The majority said I
Was more likely to
Become a lost cause but
Fred went with the minority.
That's what I believed.
Opinion was divided.
But in reality everyone
Had their own lives
To be getting on with.

Fred had done the right and
Responsible thing visiting me.
That doesn't do him justice.
He thought we had,
A shot at true love.
And he came back after
I was not welcoming.
And maybe the third
Time we hugged and
It did feel real.
We had something.

I was conflicted.
I was glad that he
Did not bail on me.
Yet I felt partially responsible
For him burning his bridges.
His friends would have
Understood if I had
Any physical illness
Or if I had been pregnant
With his kid. Because
He would most definitely
Have been the only
One who could have
Been the dad.
I still wonder why
I did not fall pregnant
The six years we
Were together. I
Suspect that with bad
Blood clots and the stressful
Lifestyle that it made
It less likely that
We would conceive.

We might have stayed together.
But we could not settle
Our differences, from the past.
I knew that at
My current job, the
Truth was going to
Come out and I
Was tired of living
On the edge, knowing
I could be rumbled
Or lose my job
When someone
Found out. And they
Did and even when
I handed my notice in,
The boss had to let
Me know she know
All about hospital
And posted an information
Sheet on the companies policy
Of referring employees
To occuational health
Even though I was leaving.
At the blip on my
Previous job, my contract
Was slashed in half.
And the women said
I should speak to
My best friend.
I got a second job
And went to night classes instead.
The knew Fred was
Possesive. They had
Probably met other
Girls in my position.
And I told Fred
When we had
A disagreement that
He needs to quit
Saying I need help.
That I could have
Been someone if
I had left this sh^ty town.
I would have met
New people easily.
I just need a life
Away from you so
I can breathe a little.
And he said :
You are a ward four reject,
That is why you have
No friends left.
Who wants to be friends
With you when they
Find out. You are
Lucky to have a man
Like me. The likes of YOU
Will never get someone
As good as me.
Even Patrick, said to leave
I could do better,
And he won't give you
A reference for a job
Because he knows
Your a pill head.
What? I take vitamins
And one tablet.
He is a complete
Hypocrite to judge
Anyones life and conduct.
So not only was Patrcick
Culpable for me
Not winning that important
Life changing match.
He had to stick his
Oar in with Fred.
I had left his club completely
Before hospital hit.
And he told the only
Person who really
Cared about my well-being
That no one would
Think bad of him for
Leaving me. Think of
What people will say
About her being up "there."
What did he hope to
Gain from sabotaging
My relationship?
If I did not have Fred,
I had no one to
Pull me from the brink.
Because emotions scared
The living day lights
Out of my family.
And the verbal abuse
They subjected me to was
A form of domestic violence.
I wanted a way out.
The Navy could
Give me a new family.
That was one option
That was not possible now.
Go back, get highers
And get into college
Elsewhere in the country.
But I needed a year out
At least to get
My head back in gear.
And I could nort count on
My family to be guarantor.
I just wanted a way out.
I Would have just
Been another troubled
Youngster with mental
Health problems. I
Doubt my friends would
Have set up a tribute
Page for me on Facebook.
But Patrick may have
Messed up poor Fred
By giving him the worst
Advice possible.
Run to the hills.
Fred may have felt responsible
And feel guilty
For abandoning me
Like others did if
He had listened to Patrick.
I think it is fair to
Say that Fred would
Have attempted to beat patrick
To a pulp. And found
That it wasn't enough
To quell the pain.
If he was drunk enough
Fred my have grabbed
A baseball bat to help.
Then again someone
May have talked him round.
But who knows,
Fred may have drove
His car into a tree
Or off the road,
By accident needing a rush
And speeding at full throttle
To forget and cover up his pain.
That if only he had
Visited I would have
Known someone cared.
Fred was a good man
Underneath his insecurities.
Underneath the trying
To be a hardman bravado.
Patrick should have
Know this was way
Above his station
And knew too little
To have cast an opinion.
It is important to know
Your limitations as well
As your strength.
Patrick was not afraid
To cast the first stone.
The one time where
I really needed just one
Person in my corner,
It was Patrick who
Tried to dissuade him
Was I really worth it?
That is what Patrick
Wanted to say all along:
Was I really worth it?
And Freds mum and dad
Gave him a nudge.
But in the end Fred
Stepped up because
A trivial thing like
Gossip blows over and
People all have their
Own busy lives to lead.
And I was not
Just some was waste of space.
Fred made the decision
Based on his own sensitive judgement.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 11-07-2018 at 08:55 AM.
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Old 11-08-2018, 04:59 AM #160
Anonymous32895 Anonymous32895 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,208
Anonymous32895 Anonymous32895 is offline
Poohbah
Anonymous32895 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 1,208 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
9 hugs
given
Default If you are not first you are last

I told Fred about
The championship where
A coach came and told me:
"That was your fight,
But your coach is known
For all the wrong reasons."
Fred all ready knew
About Patrick and the
Private school incident.
And Fred missed the
Point completely that
I did win. I should have won.
But the judges were
Unaware of their biased.
It was not their fault.
They disliked my coach.
So Fred said flippantly:
Hard cheese, "if you
Are not first you may
As well be last."
And he smirked and
Put his chin into
His chest and
His head down.
And I said did
You just quote a
Film with Will Ferrell?
I watched that with you.
I thought he would
Question Patricks integrity
But he joked instead.
So when his sisters
Partner said he saw
A programme the night
Before that pit tkd
Against other martial arts
Films, I said we watched
It too! I think I would rather
Do yoga these days though.
I was nearly British Champion
One year missed by a point or
Two, was devastated.
And before he could answer
Fred jumps in: Aye in sport
If your nae first you are last
That is right ay jon?
True in boxing, say's Jon
You win or you lose.
And Fred took over
The reigns of conversation.
I had not spoke about
It in years to anyone
And I was shot down
In flames by Fred.
Like me wearing heels,
He had an uncanny knack
Of putting me down
Until he got his own way.
The psychological term
Was being manipulated.
He did say one time
That at least I was
Good at something
At some point.
But being a has been
Or a could have been
Stirs up nothing
But regrets in your mind.
I remember my friends
Mum had a photo
On the fridge of
When she wa slim in a bikini.
And my Friend says
Mum likes to look
At it all the time
To rememeber her days
When she just met dad
And tells us look
I used to be young and thin.
I decided to suppress
Many memories and
Cut myself off from my past.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 11-08-2018 at 05:25 AM.
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