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Old 01-03-2019, 06:26 AM #181
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Default Cont .

From what Fred told
Me about his heart
To heart with Patrick,
The reason he
Told him to leave
Was just simply:
Could Fred handle
What people would
Say about me.
Could he handle gossip.
Most of it would
Be unbeknownst to Fred.
And to me. But
People have their own
Lives. Their own problems.
Gossip fades into
The distance given time.
And I know a lot
Of people whose
Husband or wife
Considered divorcing them
After being where
I had been but they
All stood by them
In the end.
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Old 01-03-2019, 07:40 AM #182
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Default Aside from the t.l.

I have a sneaky suspicion
That it may have taken
Them eight months
To find out my juicy story
But other staff members
Found out before them.
It is not something
You tattle about and
They kicked up a fuss from
The minute I started
Because I was not "loud."
I say story instead of secret
Because it was impossible,
In a small minded large town,
To keep something like
Being in the psychiatric
Hospital ward underwraps.
I guess the only reason
I persisted knowing that
I could be rumbled was
Because I was
Too young to give up.
If I did not work,
It was drugs. And
The doctor said I was
A person who saw
Their body as a temple.
That perception was true.
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Old 01-03-2019, 08:10 AM #183
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Default Glorious

My job was physically demanding.
So forgive me for not
Feeling like cooking
From scratch every night.
The silver trays
Two for five pounds
Were brilliant. Two
Fresh meals out
Of the way all ready.
Spanish chicken or
Balmoral chicken.
Gammon and pineapple.
All the trimmings and
Herbs and seasoning .
The only time we
Had ready meals
Was with an Indian curry.
And sometimes a lasagne
Ready made for the oven.
I made chinese curry
With the powder.
I did not like the
Idea of a slow cooker.
Having it on all day
While at work.
Casserole is lovely
But gravy is not healthy.
Proper gravy has
The juice from meat -
Stock is just fat.
I am not a huge
Soup lover I confess.
I still have not made
Lentil soup and
It's about time I learned!
But we had salad
Or vegetables with
Every meal and we
Had smoothies and fruit.
Like most men Fred
Disliked eggs, soup,
Rabbit food I.e. salad,
Prawns, quiche, and
He liked tomato sauce
But not tomatoes.
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Old 01-03-2019, 01:24 PM #184
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Default The nanny state

I was too old for that course.
If I was not writing,
Doing my art,
I would have found
Something on my own.
I turned down jobs
I was offered and interviews
I knew I would get offered
Because my wounds
Were too fresh.
The advisor even asked
Me to pick somewhere
I always "wanted" to work.
And they could guarantee
Me work experience
There or somewhere similar.
It was guaranteed.
But I was not ready
To face the music.
I had fukkked up again.
And again it
Was me and time.
So on this course,
A young man no older than 18
Said: I do not need a job
In order to be happy.
I think he was missing
The point somewhere.
I have heard people
Saying you do not
Need a good job
To be happy but not
Having no job altogether.
In an ideal world
Young people should
Be required to do
Volunteer work if
They are claiming
At the job centre
From day one.
But that would be
Very difficult to implement
And maintain since
We are "the nanny state."
The organiser thought
He was thinking out
Of the box when we
Got an activity and
He said what If the
Child abuser is female
And not male like
Most people assume.
I knew the answer
The minute I read it.
I had come accross
These scenario exercises b4.
But I had nothing to prove
And no reason to be there.
Another young man
Who was there,
Was in a complete mess.
He had cat hair and scratches.
He smelled really bad.
And was on hard drugs.
The organiser picked
Him up every morning
To take him to this course.
So the jc were evidently
Trying to help him
And going out
Their jurisdiction to help him.
And I applaud that.
In hospital I never seen
Many as untidy as
This poor lad. He
Really needed some help.
It was not necessary
To do hygiene courses
In the hospital.
If people were dishevilled
It was because they
Were unwell or
Addicted to substances
Not because they
Were uneducated. What
A waste of money,
Time and resources.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 01-03-2019 at 01:48 PM.
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Old 01-04-2019, 08:17 AM #185
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Default Why are you in this job

If you have the brains
To do more?
Of course the job
Made me miserable.
Of course I thought
I should be doing
Something that required
Me to use my brain.
When I left for a
More responsible job
I was still regarded
With suspicion that
This job did not
Do me justice seeing
As I was intelligent.
The intelligent ones
Were supposed to
Be the pants
Not the ones
Cleaning up the bull.
Like Freds colleague
Said in the pub.
When I had a second
Job as a cleaner,
A woman told me
About a friend of hers
Who worked as a morgue nurse
And she ended her life.
She knew her friend well,
And said she thought
That she was at liberty
To help others
Because she was intelligent
Even if she was not happy.
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Old 01-05-2019, 08:46 AM #186
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Default Puggled and paddywacked

I was fortunate that
The situation came to a head.
I was a child and I
Would never have believed
They were green eyed.
It astounds me that
Their initial reaction
Was not concern
But to make me
Feel like a criminal.
The right way was asking:
Please own up so
The nurse can check
You are ok. So
They were replaced.
Which worked in my favour.
I was so relieved
To have a new teacher.
Or I would have needed
To switch schools.
I probably would have
Refused to go to school
Pretended to take sick days.
And my mum would
Have taken me to
The clinic and I
Would have told them.
I would have confessed.
My mum may have
Found out from
One of my friends
Parents that the
Teacher was hard on me.
Any which way
I would not have lasted
A year with that teacher.
It was her or me.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 01-05-2019 at 09:18 AM.
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Old 01-05-2019, 09:55 AM #187
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Default A set up

My ol'dear and ol'man
Never said retarded junkie
In the same sentence.
But that was the
Way they made me feel.
I only hope that their
Desperate tracks to
Pin the blame all on me:
Was just a survival instinct.
The ol'man was drunk
When he ranted about me.
And my ol'dear speaks
Without a filter at
The best of times.
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Old 01-05-2019, 12:57 PM #188
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Default Packs a punch

It has clout, yes
It packs a punch.
But "baby" heroin?
Doctors prescribe small
Doses for insomnia
So comparing it to heroin?
It does not produce a high
Or euphoria like heroin.
It is not a drug.
It is a medicine.
If it were like heroin
I would not drink.
It is nothing like heroin.
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Old 01-05-2019, 03:07 PM #189
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Default Trotsky. I am not doing..btw

Nil by mouth.
Tumour. Crisps.
There was not
A cat in hells
Chance I would
Go into that field.
Even if I had not
Spent a month
In the rehab wing.
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Old 01-05-2019, 05:06 PM #190
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Default Sloppy seconds or thirds or fourths

So like sunnydisposition
I would get carried away
While telling a story or
Laughing at someone else's
And veer off course.
When the one person
Who would not have
Hesitated to laugh
Did not agree and
Was baffled by it,
I knew it was catty
And not to take
It at face value.
You were probably
One of the prettiest
Girls in our year.
I am not sure why
You were not the
Apple of someone's affection
At our school.
I guess you were
Just not the
Most confident and
Forthcoming in our year.
You had the potential
To break hearts.
You sort of hovered
In the background.
You reminded me of
The actress in
Linkin Parks video
For "crawling" Maybe
Just the eyes.

Last edited by Anonymous32895; 01-05-2019 at 05:21 PM.
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