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Old 08-01-2020, 03:16 AM   #1
Lunatyc
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Default Damaged goods

We were on the property ladder.
He wanted more money
And he wanted it there and then.
He didn't want to change anything on his part.
How on earth did he expect to
Have the same money
While living at home with his parents?
Not straight away.
We had bought a house!
It should have been
A dream come true.
Having our own space
Should have felt
Like heaven to begin with.
There was no honeymoon phase for us.
I was convinced that
No one would take
A chance employing me in
A responsible job.
But if they saw that I
Had my life together.
Had a mortgage and
Had no gaps on my c.v.
Then there may have been
That one person who
Thought: you know
I think they deserve a chance.
I had solid references. Screw thug.
My old flame needed
To apologise for saying
I would never be anything
And that I was nothing special.
He used me for target practice
Treating our relationship
Like a game. Was it
That he just wasn't ready
To invest what was
Needed in a healthy relationship?
He should have said
He didn't care about
The ignorant attitude of people
Who knew nothing about
Mental health and that
He knew there was
Absolutely nothing wrong with me.
If it isna broken, dinna fix it?
He did see me as damaged goods.
My family saw me as damaged goods.
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Old 08-01-2020, 05:42 AM   #2
Lunatyc
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Lunatyc has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2020
Location: UK
Posts: 187 (SuperPoster!)
Default Re: Damaged goods

At 23 I wasn't ready for kids.
I was terrified of falling pregnant.
He wouldn't get a dog or cat
Incase there was vets bills.
I was also scared that
People would say that I only got pregnant
In order to trap him.
Him and my family made me
Feel like I didn't deserve him.
I was an ex-mental health patient after all.
Being in hospital for
Mental health treatment
Was not a tiny blip
That we could pretend never happened.
It was a huge deal.
It changed my life.
My parents way of
Taking no responsibility in my welfare
Was to convince everyone that
I had something wrong with
Me that must come from
my biological father's side.
My old flame would not
Deal with the elephant in the room.
He put all his energy
Into keeping me, where he wanted me.
He wasn't fine with the hospital
And me being bipolar so
Why was he fine and didn't care about me being a shadow of my former self?

Last edited by Lunatyc; 08-01-2020 at 08:09 AM..
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