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AngelAsmodeus
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Location: Uniondale, NY (Wanna-be Ghettoville)
Posts: 240
10 yr Member
Default Aug 20, 2010 at 06:13 PM
  #1
(It's a shame that not many people post here )

How did you know (or have an idea) that you were dependent?

I didn't know there was a disorder for that... I just figured that I was over-dependent because I had an overprotective mother.

All the relationships that I was comfortable in had a control dynamic. I was happy. I find it hard to stay in a relationship when I'm not being given attention a lot and if someone else passes along that can give me attention and control. Stability. I needed it, craved it. It drive me nuts. I do the pushing away but at the same time I can't stand being alone, even if I try to play it off.

In my head, I can take "relationships take work" to a whole nother level. It's more than work. I deal, and eventually what they like is what I'll like. I can internalize until a breaking point or I get over it. (I wish I had that "get over it" mentality with depression.)

Anyway, I'm not comfortable outside of a relationship, nor am I if I can't depend on my SO to make decisions for me. If I can serve them and they can take care of me, I'm happy.

In my mind, I can't understand why this is so bad. When I'm alone, it is bad. That I feel stuck in my home with my mother (that's for multiple reasons, however) is bad. That I understand.

But I feel I'm starting to understand the whole "battered wives" thing. Not because I'm being abused, but because I understand now the feeling of not being able to leave.

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Asmodeus

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." -Bertrand Russell
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein
"Reality continues to ruin my life." -Bill Watterson

Let's make a wish
Easy one
That you are not the only one
And someone's there next to you holding your hand
Make a wish
You'll be fine
Nothing's gonna let you down
Someone's there next to you holding you
Along the paths you walk

Last edited by AngelAsmodeus; Aug 20, 2010 at 06:27 PM..
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QUEEN OF WANDS
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Location: new brunswick,canada
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Default Aug 20, 2010 at 07:12 PM
  #2
wow,i can relate,,i feellike everything would be wonderful if i could just make that someone happy,,BUT,,i cannot get over things,,so i live a life of turmoil in my head,,it is very hard to think about being alone,,if i can hold it all together without someone to tell you they love you and its ok,,that your ok,,they say it is lonelier in a bad relationship than it is to be alone,,,once i get the help i need i may be able to determine if my relationship is doing more harm than good,,if so i will leave , if it is more the way i view it than i may learn to change my view...are you talking to anyone about this(doc?)..maybe there are some skills you could be taught,,,thats what im hoping..have a good night

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Thanks for this!
AngelAsmodeus
AngelAsmodeus
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Location: Uniondale, NY (Wanna-be Ghettoville)
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Default Aug 20, 2010 at 07:39 PM
  #3
I know how you feel for certain. I never get over things and can degrade myself for months.

I guess I understand how it can be lonelier in a bad relationship. I got all worked up and cried on a daily basis when that happened.

I'm supposed to see a psych on Tuesday. Hopefully that plays out well. I'm afraid I will shut down while I'm there or breakdown and get nothing done.

Thanks for sharing.

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Asmodeus

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness." -Bertrand Russell
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." -Albert Einstein
"Reality continues to ruin my life." -Bill Watterson

Let's make a wish
Easy one
That you are not the only one
And someone's there next to you holding your hand
Make a wish
You'll be fine
Nothing's gonna let you down
Someone's there next to you holding you
Along the paths you walk
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Miracle1986
feeling very alone
 
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Default Oct 12, 2010 at 03:11 PM
  #4
I know I am dependant, because I have very bad separation anxiety.
I cry constantly when my husband is at drill (he's in the Army Reserves)...
and I even get panicy and cry during the days leading up to his drill.
In my rational mind, I know that he will be back in 1-3 days
(depending if he leaves on Friday morning and comes back that night, or if he has to stay all weekend... until Sunday night)
I also hate being alone during the day while he is at work (which is why I am on here so much.
PC is my attempt at distraction, sometimes it works and I feel ok, but sometimes I still feel panicy throughout the day)

Also... I just looked up DPD up on the conditions and disorders section of PC... and I have 8 out of 8 of the symptoms.
It was like I was reading a biography of myself... scary.

(link to what I read: http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx13.htm)

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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.

Last edited by Miracle1986; Oct 12, 2010 at 03:28 PM.. Reason: adding link
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Symbiosis
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Default Nov 03, 2010 at 03:17 PM
  #5
I have to respond to this great question--

No official diagnosis, but I am to some unhealthy degree. I know because I had this old boss who I discovered was a textbook narcissist and I realized serving him made me happier than any achievements I had on my own. Frankly, it is kind of stunning to me. But it wasn't a good situation for me yet I was as settled in a way that I've never been in any other job and it was all about his direction and pleasing him, etc.
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horseshoe94
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Default Jun 28, 2011 at 10:34 AM
  #6
i have the same problem i cant be alone at all...i mainly rely on my friends...i figured out about dpd when the friend that i am extreemly dependent on researched it and told me then i talked to my consolor.....i have a huge fear of being alone...i have to always be around her or atleast someone....i am to clingy and it makes me very deprssed because i have pushed people away because of it...it scares me and i dont want to be this way...its hard
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