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stein9398
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Hineston, LA
Posts: 2
10 yr Member
Default Jan 29, 2014 at 03:23 PM
  #1
I really don't know if I'm in the right place! As a child, I had $600.00+ worth of tests done on my son by a psychologist. They came up with ADHD, COMBINED TYPE NOT OTHERWISE SPECIFIED! SINCE THEN, he has been in numerous psychiatric facilities, substance abuse tx, job corps, signed over to the state of LOUISIANA before that; lived at a place called Christian Acres in Tallulah, LA. He is 21 yrs old and is just now learning what telling the truth is, as he used to believe his own lies to the point he no longer knew he was lying . He has walked off every job due to anger. As a child, I placed unreasonable, age inappropriate expectations on him that set him up for failure later in life. We have had extensive counseling as a family. He is living at home, no job and no way to get there due to our fixed income. Please help me to help him. He also has some depression. He told me what is in quotes when he was drunk and coming down on meth.
Quote:
And right when I wake up is when I am looking at some man with blonde hair and he is saying welcome son. I am not out of it mom I have been feeling this and I have been dreaming about it. I really didn't want to say anything to you about it.
He also appears to be fixed on porn as much as the drugs. The lies he tells are very easy to pick up on due to the lie being so unnecessary! People love him alot until the lying starts. Non of the meds they used has helped him or changed his mood or thinking; therefore, he isn't on any meds at this time. If anyone can help or give input, it would be appreciated.
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Default Aug 23, 2014 at 11:14 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by stein9398 View Post
He is 21 yrs old and is just now learning what telling the truth is, as he used to believe his own lies to the point he no longer knew he was lying .
Sorry about your situation, Stein.
I can only share my own experience with you.
When I was young, I was TOO honest and got hurt a lot for blurting out my truths until I finally learned to LIE, like the other kids in the family, who all got off the hook when being naughty, by just lying about it! I soon noticed that their parents & my parents were more satisfied with our lies and didn't punish me (they were very abusive) if I told lies instead of embarrassing truths so, I became quite good at lying to my parents and everyone.
IT WORKED PERFECTLY & I was soon enjoying the perks all the other LYING kids were enjoying, so that was my code and policy from then on! Now I can see that the very bad and disrespectful relationship that my abusive and negligent parents created directly set me up to be a HUGE liar to avoid their blistering punishments. We were ALL the hapless VICTIMS of bad and inadequate parenting more than any other influence - including peer influences! Peer pressures all happened later in life after our parents had set us up to be so corrupt and dishonest!
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Please help me to help him.
As the child of inadequate parents (I'm 76 now) I'd tell you or any parent to get into some kind of therapy or counseling FOR YOURSELF to figure out where YOU WENT WRONG and begin working on you self from that point. My very inadequate parents COULD HAVE fixed all of the damages that they were doing to us kids if only they could have admitted that they were making mistakes and then asked us kids where they were going wrong. I could have easily told them that their biggest mistake was to push me away with their abusive punishments (and neglect) that broke the love, respect and loyal bond that I once had with them from day one. This "disconnect" just turned me into a LYING, SNEAKY, FEARFUL, ENEMY who did all kinds of sick things behind their menacing backs. They, not me, caused all of the sad and sick things I and my brother did by alienating us at an early age & losing the love and loyalty we once had for them. They needed to see a therapist or counselor but, in those days, that was UNHEARD OF! It should be obvious to anyone that, had our parents NOT alienated and forced us to go underground to do our thing, we would have come through as: HONEST, respectful, loving and LOYAL kids instead of crooked, corrupt and damaged little bums which they both CREATED! Their very bad parenting ultimately sent my older brother to state prison years later for ARMED ROBBERY !!! The story of how that all happened would take a whole book to tell in here.
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He also has some depression. He told me what is in quotes when he was drunk and coming down on meth. He also appears to be fixed on porn as much as the drugs.
That's his way to make up for the emptiness, loneliness and despair that very inadequate parenting has left him with, IMO. He's a VICTIM of faulty parenting like us kids were!
Quote:
The lies he tells are very easy to pick up on due to the lie being so unnecessary! People love him alot until the lying starts. Non of the meds they used has helped him or changed his mood or thinking; therefore, he isn't on any meds at this time. If anyone can help or give input, it would be appreciated.
I've already said it but I'll repeat it - FIX YOU OWN FAULTY PARENTING - and then, you might be able to help your now DAMAGED child!
Good luck helping your damaged child,
Jim
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