having a hard time with changes and little frustrated

i have spent such a long time in living with people that constantly due for me and just pretty much allowing it to happen that subconsciously I became irritated by it....I now exhibit my old DPD symptoms but also times of independent rebelling too.

i think what made some of this come to light is that my boyfriend of now almost a year is living with me in my house. Like most situations where SO move in its a mix of both good and bad....

I think somewhere in my mind I m afraid that....my DPD is going to come through again...because he wants to coddle me he wants me to feel special and not work as hard at home at some things....cause he is around. He is old fashioned in that he feels heavy lifting and such should be done by a man and not by a women....

which is kind of odd to me since i have done a fair deal of general labor like work before in the past so I am no stranger to heavy lifting.

Its funny in a way cause I would never have noticed my improvements of being less dependent and more independent if he had not shown up in the house. But what can I do to not slid into an old mind set of my personality at this point??

Well, first of all, Kala, I would think you might just sit down with your SO & tell him essentially what you've written here. Communication is the most important part of any relationship. So if the two of you are going to be together for the long haul, the sooner you learn to communicate your needs, wants, & fears the better. If you find that you simply can't do this on your own, then perhaps some couples counseling might be in order. Perhaps you can learn to respect your SO's need to be old fashioned, & he can learn to respect your need to do things for yourself & your ability to , in fact, do things that in the past he thought of as "man's work." Give-&-take is an absolute necessity in a relationship. Good Luck!