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Old 02-02-2015, 07:37 AM #1
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I have been diagnosed with dependent personality disorder for a while. It's been a cycle in my life that i completely depend on one person from my exes till lastly my best friend. I was hopelessly dependent on her and needed to be with her as much as possible and we did spend lots of time together. I went to her for advice on the smallest littlest things she was always there for me. She cared so much for me.

The problem is she always warned me that certain things like drinking or stupid behaviour and she would leave me and never talk to me again. Well, in November I tried to commit suicide and she dropped me just like that. Realizing how dependent I was on her despite being a single mum of a 5 year old I am hurting so so much right now. It's like I'm stabbed in the heart every day every time I think of her and the regret and guilt is horrendous.

So where do I go from here? I'm actively seeking someone else to attach to but to no avail, me and that person has to 'click' for it to function. On the other hand I'm thinking here's a clean new slate and I can start fresh without being so dependent on anyone. My pain is however, that I miss having someone there for me and I'm finding it so hard to cope. On a further note I don't want this to happen again, what if i do find a new friendship that 'clicks' and i become overly attached to again, how do i stop that from happening? I'm very much in too minds, on one hand I desperately want and need someone on the other hand I want to be independent and capable of being on my own without feeling so alone.

Any advice on the subject would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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Old 02-02-2015, 06:25 PM #2
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

Maybe you should see if this other person can be a therapist. T's will not leave you and will be able to help you become more independent.
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Old 02-02-2015, 11:59 PM #3
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

Quote:
Originally Posted by jelly-bean View Post
Maybe you should see if this other person can be a therapist. T's will not leave you and will be able to help you become more independent.
That's a good idea, however the therapist I'm seeing is now saying that I'm a difficult person and that she doesn't want to get involved anymore so I've lost her too. But I'm not so cut up about that because I didn't like her that much anyway. I can't afford a private T and I haven't got a medical card to get a free one. So I'm stuck basically. But as soon as I get a medical card I will try to find a new T.
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Old 03-14-2015, 02:21 AM #4
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

So sorry to hear you are going through all of this.
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Old 03-22-2015, 08:44 AM #5
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

Holly ****! Your therapist is an incompetent. Have you got any possibility to work with another?
I can't give you much insight. I also have a great dependency on people, I have just discovered how strong it is. I'm going to go to therapy for that.

Perhaps it's stupid but the only thing comes to my mind now is trying to see these people in a more realistic way. And trying to set some boundaries that you are not, anyway, to cross.
I'm sorry, I would like to help you bc I hear your pain but...
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Old 03-24-2015, 03:03 PM #6
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
Holly ****! Your therapist is an incompetent. Have you got any possibility to work with another?
I can't give you much insight. I also have a great dependency on people, I have just discovered how strong it is. I'm going to go to therapy for that.

Perhaps it's stupid but the only thing comes to my mind now is trying to see these people in a more realistic way. And trying to set some boundaries that you are not, anyway, to cross.
I'm sorry, I would like to help you bc I hear your pain but...
Thank you for your kind words!! It's been nearly 5 months now and I'm slowly getting over it all but only recently like say the past two weeks. First I went down a really bad way and did a lot of stupid things I went on a right bender. But I'm putting myself back together now and yes I'm starting to picture her in a more realistic way as opposed to idealizing her. Wounds do heal with time. But I have a long way to go. I appreciate your comment though.
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Old 03-24-2015, 03:54 PM #7
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

I invite you to come with me and we both can help us to overcome the dependency issues. It's funny because I attended yesterday to a course in my school and the speaker told about this topic. The need to give a step to independency and begin to take responsabilities on our own choices.
I will write a thread about it. Not now, bc I'm a bit busy grading my kids but I will do it.
It's now that I realized that I had dependency issues, a friend put me in the clue and if I look at the past, it makes sense.

What I wanna tell you now is that it's good to be awared of the issues we have to work on. That doesn't make you a faulty person, on the contrary.

Hugs!
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Old 04-02-2015, 12:23 PM #8
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
I invite you to come with me and we both can help us to overcome the dependency issues. It's funny because I attended yesterday to a course in my school and the speaker told about this topic. The need to give a step to independency and begin to take responsabilities on our own choices.
I will write a thread about it. Not now, bc I'm a bit busy grading my kids but I will do it.
It's now that I realized that I had dependency issues, a friend put me in the clue and if I look at the past, it makes sense.

What I wanna tell you now is that it's good to be awared of the issues we have to work on. That doesn't make you a faulty person, on the contrary.

Hugs!
I'm interested in this thread you will write please link it to me if you can. Many thanks. Hugs!
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Don't let your happiness depend on something you might one day lose...
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Effexor XR 225 mg
Risperidone 4 mg

Reoccurring depression w/ psychotic symptoms
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Old 04-02-2015, 01:03 PM #9
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Default Re: When u lose someone u depended on

Hello!
I don't see myself qualify to talk about something I'm learning, but if you google Stephen Covey the seven habits, you will find a link that allow you to download the book in PDF format for free.
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Old 04-10-2015, 09:26 PM #10
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