advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
steelcurtain27
Member
steelcurtain27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 47
8 yr Member
Default Dec 07, 2016 at 01:25 AM
  #1
I was diagnosed about a year and a half ago with DPD and AvPD traits. I absolutely hate it and have fought it ever since. The idea of being dependent freaks me out and quite honestly disgusts me. For many years I was afraid of having bipolar because of my abusive father who had bipolar but honestly if I could trade illnesses I would. Now all my providers want to talk about is how my personality disorder is effecting my life, nevermind my depression and anxiety of which 29 meds have yet to properly treat. I'm so sick of hearing about my personality disorder because it feels like a fundamental flaw in my character and something that is inherently wrong with me. Plus, I don't like being around people much with the exception of my mom but even now I'm starting to get really sick of being around her for fear of being dependent. I hate that I'm supposed to be this 20 something year old who can't do anything and what's worse is now it feels like it's my fault. I'd much rather have AvPD because I don't like people and I don't understand people plus I don't like to rely on them. Yet my therapist says that because whenever I get fearful of change she sees me throw up my hands and give it to the nearest person (figure of speech). But I don't see that. I'd say yeah I do oftentimes go screw it but I don't give up responsibility to others. Now I just feel weak and like a burden to others, a waste of space. Not to mention when you read up on DPD it says things like "clinging behavior", yuck! But I digress. Thanks for letting my vent. And if anyone can relate or has successfully gotten through all the emotional crap of this diagnosis and gotten better, please let me know (I'm a tad desperate).
steelcurtain27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
LadyShadow, Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Dec 08, 2016 at 04:29 PM
  #2
Hello steelcurtain27: All I can offer with regard to this is that, in my opinion, a diagnosis is just one mental health professional's opinion regarding what's going on with you. And diagnoses can-&-do change from one provider to the next... as well as over time. So a diagnosis is not written in stone, as the saying goes, nor need it define a person. You are much more than your diagnosis.

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
LadyShadow, steelcurtain27
kecanoe
Grand Magnate
kecanoe has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
15 yr Member
7,192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 09, 2016 at 10:40 PM
  #3
I'm diagnosed with mixed personality disorder with avoidant, dependent and schizoid traits. So perhaps I know a little bit about where you are coming from.

I agree that being diagnosed with a personality disorder is alarming. There is not much information out there that is very optimistic about changing when you have a PD. And I am 53 years old! And still very dependent on my therapist. And I hate that.

I also have tried bucket loads of antidepressants and none worked. I was on 5 at one time, with Abilify added in to augment the AD. The Abilify numbed me out some, which was a relief at the time.

The good news is that I believe I have found a therapy style that helps. I am less dependent, less depressed than I was a year ago. And this is after 5 years of deep, dark depression. The technique is called brain spotting.

Other than that, I have read that long term therapy can help. DBT helped me get along for many years-maybe that is something to consider.
kecanoe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
steelcurtain27
steelcurtain27
Member
steelcurtain27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 47
8 yr Member
Default Dec 10, 2016 at 12:40 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe View Post
I'm diagnosed with mixed personality disorder with avoidant, dependent and schizoid traits. So perhaps I know a little bit about where you are coming from.

I agree that being diagnosed with a personality disorder is alarming. There is not much information out there that is very optimistic about changing when you have a PD. And I am 53 years old! And still very dependent on my therapist. And I hate that.

I also have tried bucket loads of antidepressants and none worked. I was on 5 at one time, with Abilify added in to augment the AD. The Abilify numbed me out some, which was a relief at the time.

The good news is that I believe I have found a therapy style that helps. I am less dependent, less depressed than I was a year ago. And this is after 5 years of deep, dark depression. The technique is called brain spotting.

Other than that, I have read that long term therapy can help. DBT helped me get along for many years-maybe that is something to consider.


I'll have to look up brain spotting, thank you.

I did DBT a few years ago but was a bit defiant about it so I don't think I got all that I could out of it. My NP says I should consider it again as well so I think I will. One fear I have is not being able to get up and going to the groups. Lately, I've been sleeping as much as 16 hours a day. I'm just so unbelievably tired. I hope this subsides as it's ruining my life (what little existence I do have).
steelcurtain27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
kecanoe
Grand Magnate
kecanoe has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
15 yr Member
7,192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 18, 2016 at 04:52 PM
  #5
I get not being able to get up. Ugh. Depression plus PD sucks. No doubt about it. Are you seeing a therapist now? Would the DBT group replace current therapy? Does it meet once a week or more often?
kecanoe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
steelcurtain27
Member
steelcurtain27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 47
8 yr Member
Default Dec 18, 2016 at 05:28 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe View Post
I get not being able to get up. Ugh. Depression plus PD sucks. No doubt about it. Are you seeing a therapist now? Would the DBT group replace current therapy? Does it meet once a week or more often?


I am actually seeing two therapists, one for depression issues and one for another reason. My main therapist, well both I suppose, thinks I should do DBT again. I don't know if it would replace current therapy. The couple places recommended to me meet three times a week, I believe. My concern is being able to get to either of them. The past couple weeks I've slept most of the days away. It's embarrassing. You're right, depression and PD, absolutely suck.
steelcurtain27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
kecanoe
Grand Magnate
kecanoe has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2008
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,052
15 yr Member
7,192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 21, 2016 at 03:52 PM
  #7
I sleep a lot too. Can you get up? For me, I can get up if I have to, I just prefer to sleep to feeling things.
kecanoe is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
steelcurtain27
Member
steelcurtain27 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 47
8 yr Member
Default Dec 21, 2016 at 11:41 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe View Post
I sleep a lot too. Can you get up? For me, I can get up if I have to, I just prefer to sleep to feeling things.


If I absolutely have to get up I can. For example, I can get up for appointments and things like that. Other than that I really have a hard time getting up. It's so unbelievably hard. I would say that part of it is a preference to being asleep as opposed to feeling anything. Although I've noticed once I actually get going I managed to get through the day but I can't seem to repeat it.
steelcurtain27 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
kecanoe
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:29 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.