Realized I'm a "people pleaser", now I'm lost. - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-02-2017, 06:45 PM #1
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 295
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 295

2 yr Member
Default Realized I'm a "people pleaser", now I'm lost.

Evening folks,

so I've recently come to term with the fact that I'm a people pleaser. Well, at least I was until recently. This all started long ago in my childhood listening to what my mom decided what was best for me. Her statements were along the line of "get a good job to make a lot of money", "college is very important", "if you don't go to college you won't amount to anything", etc... So after dropping out of college for the third time I'm done with it. But now I don't know what to do. I was always so busy doing what my mom said was right, that I haven't been given the opportunity to dream. I have no dream job or career, or really any sort of goal excluding wanting to be happy. But that's a very broad goal and has hundreds of routes to achieve that goal. My problem is I have no clue which route is best for me. Do I go back to school again, but find something I'm passionate about? Or do I give up on school?

That reminds me, how does one find what they are passionate about? I have no clue and never have been allowed to experiment. Every aspect of my life has been influenced by mothers opinion or suggestion.

I have serious mommy issues I know. She is very successful and wants for nothing, so its hard for me to just dismiss her. I know she only wants for best me and I know that she loves me. But I can't help but feel different from her.

So I'm rambling I think, need to get back on track.

How do I find my goals in life beyond short term goals? How do I find what I'm passionate about? Should I go back to school if I need to?
Stuck1nhead is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 10-02-2017, 07:16 PM #2
Shazerac's Avatar
Shazerac Shazerac is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029
Shazerac Shazerac is offline
Grand Magnate
Shazerac's Avatar
Shazerac is attempting to contact the mother ship.
 
Member Since: May 2015
Location: earth
Posts: 3,029 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
1,895 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Realized I'm a "people pleaser", now I'm lost.

There is a book called "what color is your parachute" it walks you through what your interests are, how to refine them into a more specific goal, and then how that translates into a real world career. I found it helpful in my younger days. (I'm retired now)
__________________


Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day!

"Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 -
Seroquel 100
Celexa 20 mg
Xanax .5 mg prn
Modafanil 100 mg

Shazerac is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-02-2017, 08:01 PM #3
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 295
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 295

2 yr Member
Default Re: Realized I'm a "people pleaser", now I'm lost.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazerac View Post
There is a book called "what color is your parachute" it walks you through what your interests are, how to refine them into a more specific goal, and then how that translates into a real world career. I found it helpful in my younger days. (I'm retired now)


I'll have to check that out now thx
Stuck1nhead is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 09-29-2018, 02:35 PM #4
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 81,273
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 81,273 (SuperPoster!)

15 yr Member
53.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Realized I'm a "people pleaser", now I'm lost.

U don’t come across as a people pleaser 2 me x
__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 10-13-2018, 09:11 PM #5
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,012
here today here today is offline
Grand Magnate
here today has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 3,012

5 yr Member
1,074 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Realized I'm a "people pleaser", now I'm lost.

I hear how wonderful your mother is but you are wonderful, too. Even though you are different from her and may not follow her path and the one she has laid out for you.

Sounds like you've got a good understanding of the situation. And though you haven't had much opportunity up until now, maybe it's time that you MAKE the opportunity to dream. To explore. It's your world, too.
here today is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:09 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.