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Old 06-20-2018, 09:25 AM   #1
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Default DPD and romantic involvements with NPD

Over the course of my romantic life, I've noticed a troubling pattern. I seem to be a magnet for those with strong narcissistic traits. Looking back over every major relationship [not the short lived ones, but the long ones] it is clear that the ones I've fallen for the hardest - and the ones who have done the most damage - are men who could possibly be diagnosed as malignant narcissists.

Is it typical for a person with DPD to find themselves in highly abusive relationships with abrasive, arrogant, controlling men who then, after a period of time, devalue and discard the DPD in a loud and spectacular way for that "something better"?

I'd love to break the pattern, but can't seem to interest anyone who isn't a howling narcissist. Is it the doom of DPD's to have these relationships? Is there any hope for a healthy relationship for those of us with DPD? I'm tired...
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Old 06-21-2018, 11:31 AM   #2
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I'm sorry I don't know the answer to your question. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would. Here are links to articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some interest:

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Old 01-09-2019, 09:03 PM   #3
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Default Re: DPD and romantic involvements with NPD

In my 60's I came to understand that I'm an empath, a people pleaser and a dependent person and likely those are the reasons I had my heart broken so many times in romantic relationships. I was the guy who either got stood up, dumped or rejected. Like you, I was drawn to women who were 'quirky', seducers, and some who were just plain emotionally troubled. I dated, lived with and married a troubled, alcohol addicted woman and I could never, nor still can't, find the courage to leave, though I'm miserable. If I get out, I will work hard to steer clear of such women. I can't save anyone, except myself and right now, I'm not doing a good job at that.
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Old 01-15-2019, 04:28 AM   #4
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Default Re: DPD and romantic involvements with NPD

Its not your fault that people are bad but it could be helpful to look at yourself and see if there is anything that you think makes people like this are attracted to you. I used to attract the wrong guys before I met my husband and realized that there were some vibes I was giving off that were like distress calls to bad boys.
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Old 04-25-2019, 09:43 PM   #5
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Default Re: DPD and romantic involvements with NPD

I think possibly malignant Narcissists tend to be attracted to people who tend to be “people pleasers” - either to use for a brief period and then discard ... as you said with a spectacular show of their peculiar brand of blaming labelling arrogance or even to be involved in a romantic relationship. I was engaged to a Narcissist for a while. I’m married to a lovely man who isn’t a Narcissist so I think it’s possible to break the pattern
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