advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-21-2014, 11:17 PM   #21
ChangingMyMind
Veteran Member
ChangingMyMind has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 715
5 yr Member
107 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

I am not sure if this really fits for me because I have always felt confident in my choices and ability... Although in my depressed state I can definitely say I am not that person anymore.... Not sure what changed it. I do make decisions but only when forced. The depression makes me question my cognitive abilities a great deal. Something I have always been very proud of... I have always been told I am smart, that I'll succeed, that I'm going to make something good of myself, etc... And I've always believed it... But now I question if I'll even ever feel normal again or do normal things like normal people without being exhausted by the end of the day.

I am going to try this and see how it works for me... Hey what have I got to lose?

Question though what if you decide to do something but you know you can't do it for say 5 minutes, do you wait and snap when you do it or do you snap immediately?
__________________
Dx: MDD, GAD, Panic Disorder
Rx: None, too many side effects.
ChangingMyMind is offline   Reply With Quote

advertisement
Old 10-21-2014, 11:24 PM   #22
cryingontheinside
Magnate
 
cryingontheinside's Avatar
cryingontheinside has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
3 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Hello changing my mind. Im so glad there is a few of us starting together.
I second everything you said. I wonder the same things about my self.
I do feel that im starting to turn a corner since doing this though i have kept gorgetting to do it alot today.
You snap the second before you so something.
cryingontheinside is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2014, 03:46 AM   #23
Anonymous200265
Guest
Anonymous200265 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChangingMyMind View Post
I am not sure if this really fits for me because I have always felt confident in my choices and ability... Although in my depressed state I can definitely say I am not that person anymore.... Not sure what changed it. I do make decisions but only when forced. The depression makes me question my cognitive abilities a great deal. Something I have always been very proud of... I have always been told I am smart, that I'll succeed, that I'm going to make something good of myself, etc... And I've always believed it... But now I question if I'll even ever feel normal again or do normal things like normal people without being exhausted by the end of the day.

I am going to try this and see how it works for me... Hey what have I got to lose?

Question though what if you decide to do something but you know you can't do it for say 5 minutes, do you wait and snap when you do it or do you snap immediately?
What you describe there sounds exactly like me! Wow, thanks very much . My cognitive ability was my strength too, and that has really come into question for me ever since being depressed. Now, I'm not so depressed anymore, but that still looms in my mind somehow.
  Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-22-2014, 09:41 AM   #24
ChangingMyMind
Veteran Member
ChangingMyMind has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 715
5 yr Member
107 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

I know how you feel even when I was on antidepressants and felt good I still questioned my intelect. Even when not depressed I have lost some of the self confidence I once had. Some of it I think was just me growing up and realizing I'm not always right but some of it feels like the hidden insecurities I let lay dormant for years coming out to wreak havoc.
__________________
Dx: MDD, GAD, Panic Disorder
Rx: None, too many side effects.
ChangingMyMind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2014, 12:10 PM   #25
ChangingMyMind
Veteran Member
ChangingMyMind has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 715
5 yr Member
107 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Ok, so I have been doing this since last night. I'm starting slow and trying to remember to do it but I have done it several times this morning. I find that it does indeed give me a sense of empowerment. As soon as I make a decision to do something, snap, then do it I feel accomplished. Granted I am doing little things like touch something I normally wouldn't or just snap before doing something I normally would, but even so it helps put things in perspective. I am definitely depressed and often think there is no way out and nothing I can do about my situation. I often feel powerless, hopeless, doomed, etc. But this small simple activity reminds me that I do still have power; I do still have control; I am not doomed.

I think the reason this helps me is because the act of making a decision, snapping, then doing it proves wrong many of the negative thoughts or over-generalizations/catastrophizing thoughts. For example, I may think "I have no choice but to stay in bed and live my life in agony". This is not true and making a decision to get up and shower then snapping before doing so reassures me that I do have a choice and I do not have to stay in bed all day. Then again, if I have to stay in bed for the moment that is ok, then I can say "That's fine, body, I'll listen and stay in bed, but I'm going to decide to do meditation", snap, and it's done. So, even though my body will not cooperate with me right now, I can still make some decisions and life is not completely hopeless.

Note: My depression is very physical in how it manifests. So, I feel ok emotionally, I just have body pains/aches, GI issues, joint pain, etc that keeps me limited in what I can do. So, making decisions to do what I want to do and pushing my body sometimes is necessary and this helps me do that.

Not saying this will cure me, I do not have any grand expectations but it is a good tool to use to help remind yourself you still have control even if life is not perfect right now and that life can still be lived in some fashion.
__________________
Dx: MDD, GAD, Panic Disorder
Rx: None, too many side effects.
ChangingMyMind is offline   Reply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 10-22-2014, 01:07 PM   #26
vital
Grand Poohbah
 
vital's Avatar
vital has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
3 yr Member
1,799 hugs
given
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChangingMyMind View Post
Question though what if you decide to do something but you know you can't do it for say 5 minutes, do you wait and snap when you do it or do you snap immediately?
Hi ChangingMyMind,

In a situation like that I snap both when I decide and 5 minutes later when I actually do it. In my case, that's partly because I just really enjoy snapping.
vital is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2014, 01:17 PM   #27
vital
Grand Poohbah
 
vital's Avatar
vital has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
3 yr Member
1,799 hugs
given
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChangingMyMind View Post
Ok, so I have been doing this since last night. I'm starting slow and trying to remember to do it but I have done it several times this morning. I find that it does indeed give me a sense of empowerment. As soon as I make a decision to do something, snap, then do it I feel accomplished. Granted I am doing little things like touch something I normally wouldn't or just snap before doing something I normally would, but even so it helps put things in perspective. I am definitely depressed and often think there is no way out and nothing I can do about my situation. I often feel powerless, hopeless, doomed, etc. But this small simple activity reminds me that I do still have power; I do still have control; I am not doomed.

I think the reason this helps me is because the act of making a decision, snapping, then doing it proves wrong many of the negative thoughts or over-generalizations/catastrophizing thoughts. For example, I may think "I have no choice but to stay in bed and live my life in agony". This is not true and making a decision to get up and shower then snapping before doing so reassures me that I do have a choice and I do not have to stay in bed all day. Then again, if I have to stay in bed for the moment that is ok, then I can say "That's fine, body, I'll listen and stay in bed, but I'm going to decide to do meditation", snap, and it's done. So, even though my body will not cooperate with me right now, I can still make some decisions and life is not completely hopeless.

Note: My depression is very physical in how it manifests. So, I feel ok emotionally, I just have body pains/aches, GI issues, joint pain, etc that keeps me limited in what I can do. So, making decisions to do what I want to do and pushing my body sometimes is necessary and this helps me do that.

Not saying this will cure me, I do not have any grand expectations but it is a good tool to use to help remind yourself you still have control even if life is not perfect right now and that life can still be lived in some fashion.
I'm so glad its starting to work for you :-). I really recognize that feeling of power you're getting. As long as you're enjoying it, keep going! I think you will find many more benefits to come.

I find that this stuff has major physical manifestations too. Now I find that if I just sit quietly doing nothing, I have a growing feeling of vitality and energy that I never had before. I feel like being depressed was a constant, constant drain. I could never really relax, even when I wasn't being actively tormented by bad thoughts and feelings.

My depression didn't manifest so much as body aches and GI problems as you describe it, so I really don't know what's going to happen for that. I'm looking forward to hearing about it if you're going to post it though. Maybe your new vitality will help solve your physical problems in other ways? I always think it's a good idea to find a good MD and have an active relationship with him/her and to actively try to understand your own problems. I was exercising and having a good diet and taking supplements before snapping, and I'm doing it even more now. I think that depressed people often have physical problems that they just suffer with for long periods of time just because they are in the depressed mode of unconscious immediate pain avoidance and being unable to decide to act.

Last edited by vital; 10-22-2014 at 02:15 PM..
vital is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2014, 05:42 PM   #28
cryingontheinside
Magnate
 
cryingontheinside's Avatar
cryingontheinside has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
3 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

I havent been able to do it today. I am in the middle of a massive mood swing related to insomnia and bpd. Hopefully i can get back on track. Im feeling loathed and pathic. Is there still hope for me.
Also i made bad decisions today. I had compulsion to ring up tarrot readers and now i hate my self because they wouldnt stop talking about themselves and other people who rang in. I couldnt get a word on edgeways im gonna cry my self to sleep tonight and when i wake up im gonna write MUG on my forhead because thats what i am.
cryingontheinside is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-22-2014, 06:14 PM   #29
vital
Grand Poohbah
 
vital's Avatar
vital has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
3 yr Member
1,799 hugs
given
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I havent been able to do it today. I am in the middle of a massive mood swing related to insomnia and bpd. Hopefully i can get back on track. Im feeling loathed and pathic. Is there still hope for me.
Also i made bad decisions today. I had compulsion to ring up tarrot readers and now i hate my self because they wouldnt stop talking about themselves and other people who rang in. I couldnt get a word on edgeways im gonna cry my self to sleep tonight and when i wake up im gonna write MUG on my forhead because thats what i am.
Hi cryingontheinside,

I think I understand about the tarrot card readers, only because I was depressed myself. You call them up and then you end up in this social situation where it starts to be unpleasant, but it feels like you're powerless and trapped. Parties were often like this for me. I would often start to feel horrible and super-stressed, but felt trapped because it's rude to leave too early. People may think "what's the big deal", but I think this is close to the core of depression and I know it feels just horrible. In that situation, you've lost contact with your inner self and you feel helpless and unable to act. Did I get that right?

I hope you can relax and think of today as a learning experience. I wonder what to do about insomnia though? I had some trouble with this until I got one of those sleep masks, which helped a lot.

- v

Last edited by vital; 10-22-2014 at 06:44 PM..
vital is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2014, 11:03 AM   #30
cryingontheinside
Magnate
 
cryingontheinside's Avatar
cryingontheinside has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,299
3 yr Member PC PoohBah!
Default Re: How I understood and then escaped

Thanks vital.
Im doing better today, back to snapping and making positive choices.
Im still upset with the psycic tho. I had already prepaid so i couldnt really end the call. He was a horrible man, judgemental, kept talking about homself and saying bad things about people with mental health. He said he didnt believe i had mental health because he didnt sense a black ora around me! How dare he. What a waste of money i hope he gets bad karma.
cryingontheinside is offline   Reply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:35 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.