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Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 214
9 61 hugs
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#101
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I know I've done it to men online, just didn't write back if I wasn't interested, cause sometimes some got a bit aggressive if I wrote I wasn't interested, they kept writing 'why not?' and such? Or maybe there could be mixed emotions and indecision, or other factors? It would be better if people could be straight up honest and still gentle with each other. If you wish for someone who is more direct and open about feelings, such a person who just stays away is not for you anyway!! Wishing you someone better, who recognizes how awesome you are! ((Hugz)) |
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vital
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
9 1,785 hugs
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#102
Quote:
Those snaps you are doing and that feeling of joy and power and fun are very precious. If you keep doing them and feeling them deeply, I think that they will help you so much. In a way, it is your own true self being and acting in the present moment. It probably won't happen right away, but if you keep doing it, you'll discover that you can decide to change what you think about and what feelings you have, just by snapping. Wait until you have some bad feelings and realize that, instead of suffering endlessly, you can stop them just like that "SNAP!!". It is the most incredible relief! - vital SNAP CLUB |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
9 1,785 hugs
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#103
MY INVOLUNTARY DIVE BACK INTO DEPRESSION FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS
- DEPRESSION SNEAKS UP ON YOU WHEN YOU’RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION - A couple of weeks ago my depression snuck up on me again and I was partially in it again for a couple of days. As unpleasant as it was, it might be interesting to record how it happens and how I got back. Also, I want to be honest about my experiences as I think that’s the best way to be helpful to others. In the period preceding the relapse, • I was getting very busy with my work, multi-tasking too much and starting to feel like I didn’t have time to concentrate on anything for long. Things that I wanted to do at home and at work seemed like they were piling up rapidly. • Without noticing it, I had reduced my snapping and when I was doing and I wasn’t feeling it or enjoying it as much as usual. • Being winter, I had stopped going on my usual daily long walks (which also provides thinking time). All this was happening without me really noticing it. Any changes were gradual. Then, on one day, I got some minor but unexpected bad news at the dentist. This news precipitated a sharp decline in my mood and I was back in my previous depressed mode of existence. I observed the following. • I had a strong urge to think negative thoughts and other negative things that happened in my life came back into my mind continuously. • I had a strong urge to escape in some way by finding some distraction. • My brain felt foggy and slow. My confidence nearly disappeared. • SNAPPING did something still, but now only partly helped and no longer brought me entirely out of it. It now brought me partly out of it and only for a short time. • I had a fear that SNAPPING was going to not work for me anymore and I would be trapped in depression forever. • My usual feeling of good will towards humanity in general disappeared. Strangers were irritating and obstacles in my way if anything. • I didn’t realize it at the time, but my posture had changed. I no longer had my usual hero pose and was slumped. • I actually got into a mini-conflict in the PC chatrooms. I had the impression that people were being bullied and this caused me to be upset. I say this many times in the forum, but when it happened to me, it didn’t occur to me. Even though my perceptions were correct, my reaction was, nevertheless, just a symptom of my depression. • In Yoga class, I was frustrated and upset if I couldn’t do a posture. I was agitated and it was hard to concentrate. I felt an urge to escape. When the weekend hit, I slept much longer than my usual 8 hours. After sleeping about 12 hours, I woke up feeling a bit better. I resumed snapping boldly and consciously and enjoying the snaps and, quite quickly, I re-entered my healthy happy mode of existence. Snapping, actively deciding, being in the moment, hero posture, joy at being alive and having good will towards everyone and feeling like my brain is working again. The whole thing was unpleasant, but I do feel that I have learned from my brief excursion back into it. Depression sneaks up on you when you’re not paying attention. The more I think about it and experience it, the more I think I’m really right in what I’m saying at the top of the thread. |
avlady
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Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 113
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#104
Quote:
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
9 1,785 hugs
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#105
Just to keep track of it, here is an update of what I personally think is the best plan if you are depressed. I'm not a medical professional, I'm only writing this up because this makes so much more sense to me than what usually happens.
1. Deal with any physical/nutritional issues first. As pointed out by Mark Hyman, M.D., there are a large number of common medical or nutritional issues that can case mental problems including depression. These include Vitamin B or D deficiencies, hypothyroidism, heavy metal toxicity, pre-diabetes, infection, gluten allergy, omega 3 fat deficiency and others. If you have any of these common issues, the best thing to do is surely to address them first. For references, see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOPRp_K6QQY The UltraMind Solution: Fix Your Broken Brain by Healing Your Body First: M.D. Mark Hyman: 9780743570480: Amazon.com: Books The latter book by Mark Hyman is a great resource for diet as well. I often also use Andrew Weil’s web pages as a source of information. 2. Try all the safe healthy ways to overcome depression next. Very often if people see an M.D. and have the symptoms of depression, they are immediately put on an antidepressant. However, I think that this is a terrible idea. Antidepressant drugs have dangerous short and long term side-effects, can lead to dependence and often don’t work: Why Antidepressants Don?t Work for Treating Depression - Dr. Mark Hyman Negative Effects of Antidepressants | Mad in America https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFbs8s3VI6M https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4R6MXO2j0V0 It is important to realize that because of oppositional tolerance, taking these drugs may cause negative changes in your brain, which may be irreversible. It’s also important to realize that the “chemical imbalance” theory of depression is wrong (see the references above). If you have depression, you are not fated by biology to take drugs in order to get better. Because of all this, it seems so much better to first try all of the safe, easy and/or healthy ways to overcome depression first, before even considering a drug approach. Promising things to try include exercise (walking, running, swimming, yoga, weight training, for instance), improving your diet and taking supplements (see Mark Hyman’s books for great advice and for inspiration about what this can do), meditation, improving your sleep, talk therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, light therapy and mind training. I especially recommend starting with SNAP CLUB as described at the top of this thread. It is easy and fun and usually works and sometimes works spectacularly well, and, when it works, it really helps you take further steps on your upward healthy path. 3. If 1. And 2. above fail and you are desperate, go to the next steps with a medical doctor. I suspect that in almost all cases of depression, a serious attempt at some combination of 1 and 2 above will greatly help or completely solve the problem, but that’s really only a guess on my part. Meditation is a good example of the need to try seriously, I think. If you look in the depression success stories on this site, you’ll see that some people have completely resolved their depression, just with meditation. They also report, however, that it takes a solid couple of weeks of doing it before they get the big benefit. There are cases that I believe (on this forum and elsewhere) where people report that antidepressant drugs work dramatically well for them, even in the long term. This sometimes happens only after trying many different drug combinations. If nothing at all works in 1 or 2 above, you may have to try this, after, of course assessing the risks with a Medical Doctor. I have heard similar testimonials from people for whom only Electroconvulsive Therapy worked. See, for example, Sherwin Nuland: How electroshock therapy changed me | Talk Video | TED.com and people for whom nothing worked except for a cyngulotomy. See, for example, Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share | Talk Video | TED.com. Now GO GET EM!! As Stephen Colbert used to say: I’LL SEE YOU IN HEALTH!!! - vital |
Crazy Hitch
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Bambam101, Captainc, Cherlicious, Crazy Hitch, DeterminedSlacker, DJPantheris, hard2smile, jolie_12, kanasi, LauraBean, lexy92, Ruftin, rukspc, Slowbrains, Solari
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
9 1,785 hugs
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#106
Hi everybody;
SNAP CLUB is going to be tried with real patients in one of the local hospitals in Boston this Spring. - vital |
Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: texas, USA
Posts: 64
10 26 hugs
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#107
What if your depression is truly caused by raising how much of a failure you are? What if it's caused by thinking about,or some one pointing out how you have hurry so many close to you?
I feel like I'm at the bottom of the totem pole and would take me to change but I'm not sure how |
Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 113
9 |
#108
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: texas, USA
Posts: 64
10 26 hugs
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#109
There is a way. You, just like me, are not getting what you need to either be motivated or empowered to feel like change is within you.
I was feeling so down today. I mean horribly horribly hopeless. My son, my 15 year old son said to me: mom, just remember that what ever we go through is just preparing us for what's to come, to make sure we are strong enough to handle the greatness to come. I told him, my own problem is that my issues cause me to wonder whether life is preparing me for greatness or my endless destruction. He said, you just have to keep you're eyes on the prize. Stay positive. I have to keep in mind that life is preparing me for whatever I decide is in my future. Whatever I decide I'm preparing for. It could be my destruction or my greatness. I could coach and motivate for days, but when it comes to me I think I'm the horrible exception to the rule. That I'm just a failure from birth to death. I was groomed for failure and given no tools to handle the hurdles in life. ......I'm an endless negative voice to my self. I underStand why I'm difficult to be around |
vital
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Gus1234U, vital
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
9 1,785 hugs
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#110
Quote:
There is a funny article about this from the Onion. It's basically answering the question "But what if I am depressed because I AM a total loser?" Study: Depression Hits Losers Hardest | The Onion - America's Finest News Source It's funny because it's insightful, but it's backwards. Bad things happen to depressed people, making them "losers". It's not the other way around where some intrinsic "loser" quality makes people vulnerable to depression. Not everyone would agree with me, but I think I'm really right about this. I don't think that anyone is fated by biology or chemistry or genetics to be depressed. I don't think that past failures or childhood history fates someone to be depressed either. I think that depression is created by a specific psychological process that you can stop once you realize what it is and how to stop doing it. Once you stop, you slowly start to heal over a few months. The nice thing is that SNAP CLUB is so easy to try. It's safe and fun to do and works quickly and requires essentially no will power. Why not give it a try? - vital |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: texas, USA
Posts: 64
10 26 hugs
given |
#111
Quote:
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vital
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: texas, USA
Posts: 64
10 26 hugs
given |
#112
Quote:
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vital
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Member
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 113
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#113
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vital
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Member
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 80
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#114
Sounds like a good idea. Also reminds me of the advice I got from a cleaning forum---you can do anything for 15 minutes. Something needs done? Just start it and do it for 15 minutes.
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vital
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vital
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Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2009
Location: Southeast United States
Posts: 1,107
14 110 hugs
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#115
I can say that I have not read every post... but I want to add something.
I have alway been fighting anxiety/depression as long as I can remember. Both my parents were sick. My mom was a very severe manic-depressive - snapping would not have worked for her - believe me. Several years ago my symptoms were really bad. I had no health insurance so we were trying to find the right meds that I could afford. I was proactive in taking care of mental health....but I was so depressed that I could barely move. Finally we found a medication that worked....that got me up and out of the bed. It did not solve my problems but I had the "brain chemistry" to work on them. I also got support and learned about what my brain is/was doing. Yes, the brain can change - retrain - snapping is a way to help change it....but there are times when medication is needed. I may never go off medication but I am ok with that. I continue to take good care of my mental health and continue to work on changing the brain toward better pathways (neuroplasticity!). I also work with others to help them retrain their brain as well. Be careful not to shame someone that may need medication. Many told me..just do this or just do that..take a walk your natural endorphins will kick in..and so on..well it did not work and I felt like a falure because of it. That being said..medication alone is not the answer - but it may save someone's life so they can get their butt out of bed and figure out solutions - maybe some snappin. __________________ “A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
vital
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vital
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Member
Member Since Jun 2014
Location: dont want to tell
Posts: 41
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#116
I haven't read anything other than the first post so sorry if this is redundant.
Your theory about decision and stuff feels completely correct to me. I am on autopilot 24/7 and its bad for me but I am having trouble trying to start clapping the way you suggested ( I can't snap my fingers). Most of the time I have trouble understanding which of my decision were mine or automatic and there are just so many decision made in a day that I feel overwhelmed. |
vital
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vital
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
9 1,785 hugs
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#117
Quote:
Clapping could be a fine substitute. I would actually suggest making a fist with one hand and hitting your chest once as a good substitute that you might try too ( like a gorilla! ). It should be bold and emphatic and kind of fun to do. When you are starting out, forget about everything except for tiny, tiny, tiny decisions that are of no importance like SNAP I'm going to put on my shoes SNAP I'm going to put the left shoe on first SNAP I'm going to look at that tree for 5 seconds SNAP I'm going to go pee SNAP I'm going to have a cup of tea SNAP I'm going to lift my leg SNAP I'm going to take a walk SNAP I'm going to take the stairs SNAP I'm going to go up the stairs left foot first Don't worry about doing it for ALL your decisions. Don't worry about forgetting to do it for a while. What's much more important is that you FEEL it when you are deciding and that you find the JOY in these tiny tiny little things you are doing throughout your day. Be creative and make up some fun nonsense things to decide. You will find that even the tiniest things will start to make you feel revitalized and empowered. This will also bring present moment awareness, especially when you decide to use one of your senses at any particular moment. This practice can be like a refuge for you when you are feeling bad. Keep in touch. I'm really excited for you. The relief you will feel when it really starts to work is something amazing. - vital |
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Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
Posts: 9,786
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#118
this is a great idea. i am going to try it!!!
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vital
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2015
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6
9 29 hugs
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#119
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: NOYB
Posts: 3,101
9 1,349 hugs
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#120
Wow, this sounds fantastic, but how do you explain the snapping in public. I struggle a lot at work. I disappear in my own head even when I am aware, I still fall into my own rabbit hole. This is my biggest problem, don't know if its depression or cognitive issue, residue from aneurysm. It wouldn't hurt to try tho. like right now, I need to go to bed, but I can't make myself. I will be a wreck in the morning. You took the time to share with me, I shall take the time to try...I do want to be better and I am too young to die.
__________________ I haven't given up...I'm just letting go. |
vital
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