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Old 03-08-2019, 10:38 PM #1
Atronach Atronach is offline
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Default Sharing a Story

I figure I'd share my story, I consider it a success story.

Around the age of 12 or 13 I would say I started to have dysthymia, a kind of long term and mild depression. I didn't really recognize myself as having it, it felt like it was a part of my personality and who I was and I just was a naturally sad and rather cynical person molded by the experiences around me. Well, around the age of 16 or 17 I thought that hell, I don't want to be sad all my life, so I figured I'd get up and do something about it even though I really didn't feel like it. So I went to a therapist for like half a year, didn't really change a lot but I loved being able to tell others my thoughts without being judged. Eventually stopped therapy and went back a year later. Still not much better. Then I finished high school, still really analyzing why I was the way I was and figuring out what to do about it, didn't really have any friends to care about, Im emotionally distant from my family, I was a bit stuck. And just one day a few months ago, Im 19 now, I was thinking about myself, and it kind of clicked in me. Yes, I am not the greatest, the kindest, the smartest, most athletic, I'm not really the best at anything that I can recognize, but when I see someone else I want to help them, when someone else is in pain I want to care for them, when everyone else around me is calling me cold and horrible, I know that in my heart that I am kind and I know that everyone regardless of how horrible they may be or how horrible they may see themselves, that they are still worth loving, and I figure I might as well be the first and I managed to love myself, and it was a moment of bliss, and I just started beaming and just like that my world kind of changed into a much brighter place. Sure, I still have problems, but dysthymia isn't one of them. And I suppose it just goes to show that even when you see yourself horribly, even when everyone else sees you like you can't even feel bad when they hurt you, and even if you are alone, you can still find out how to be that person you really want to be, it just takes time and you just need to know how good you are even when no one else is saying it.
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Old 03-09-2019, 10:40 AM #2
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Default Re: Sharing a Story

Thank you for this, you give me hope. A thread I made is floating around her about whats been going on with my 19 year old....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atronach View Post
I figure I'd share my story, I consider it a success story.

Around the age of 12 or 13 I would say I started to have dysthymia, a kind of long term and mild depression. I didn't really recognize myself as having it, it felt like it was a part of my personality and who I was and I just was a naturally sad and rather cynical person molded by the experiences around me. Well, around the age of 16 or 17 I thought that hell, I don't want to be sad all my life, so I figured I'd get up and do something about it even though I really didn't feel like it. So I went to a therapist for like half a year, didn't really change a lot but I loved being able to tell others my thoughts without being judged. Eventually stopped therapy and went back a year later. Still not much better. Then I finished high school, still really analyzing why I was the way I was and figuring out what to do about it, didn't really have any friends to care about, Im emotionally distant from my family, I was a bit stuck. And just one day a few months ago, Im 19 now, I was thinking about myself, and it kind of clicked in me. Yes, I am not the greatest, the kindest, the smartest, most athletic, I'm not really the best at anything that I can recognize, but when I see someone else I want to help them, when someone else is in pain I want to care for them, when everyone else around me is calling me cold and horrible, I know that in my heart that I am kind and I know that everyone regardless of how horrible they may be or how horrible they may see themselves, that they are still worth loving, and I figure I might as well be the first and I managed to love myself, and it was a moment of bliss, and I just started beaming and just like that my world kind of changed into a much brighter place. Sure, I still have problems, but dysthymia isn't one of them. And I suppose it just goes to show that even when you see yourself horribly, even when everyone else sees you like you can't even feel bad when they hurt you, and even if you are alone, you can still find out how to be that person you really want to be, it just takes time and you just need to know how good you are even when no one else is saying it.
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