[clouds_and_sun]

This has been bothering me so badly lately. See I am nothing like society aka Hollywood, I don't look fake, I don't have kids and I am not married so I feel that I am nothing in this world. On top of it that miserable crush on that guy will not go away (thanks to my OCD). He has rejected me so many times cause I am not a bar girl, I don't party and I am wholesome/sweet. Also I feel that when people are lonely they talk to me cause I am that boring I guess for the reasons that I listed above. I just don't get why I am here, I feel that I am taking up space on this planet for people who are more important than I. What is the use of living and that dumb crush (that I mentioned before) is not helping my depression any. Yes I have a new very part time temp job but still I hurt deeply.
Thanks for reading this. I had to get this out.

[roads]

If you were like society, you'd be redundant & you'd be just one more of so many the same.

Maybe what the world needs is someone who is different. Someone people can look at and say, "Oh, I could be like society or like that." Being different isn't easy. But we are who we are, & sometimes the best I can do is to set about about becoming the best "me" I can become.

I'm different too. I spent about 20 yrs trying to appear like "them." I couldn't do it & I never fooled anyone & I wasted 20 yrs.

[likewater]

I agree with Roadrunner. I'm different too. I got tired of trying to fit in. Found people like me better as me.

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by clouds_and_sun

This has been bothering me so badly lately. See I am nothing like society aka Hollywood, I don't look fake, I don't have kids and I am not married so I feel that I am nothing in this world. On top of it that miserable crush on that guy will not go away (thanks to my OCD). He has rejected me so many times cause I am not a bar girl, I don't party and I am wholesome/sweet. Also I feel that when people are lonely they talk to me cause I am that boring I guess for the reasons that I listed above. I just don't get why I am here, I feel that I am taking up space on this planet for people who are more important than I. What is the use of living and that dumb crush (that I mentioned before) is not helping my depression any. Yes I have a new very part time temp job but still I hurt deeply.
Thanks for reading this. I had to get this out.

I don't know if this will help or not, but from a guys point of view, a wholesome and sweet girl is infinitely better than some "bar girl". Yea I know that it seems most guys want a "bar girl" or some one night stand and a lot of them do but when it comes down to it any respectable guy that is worth your time will want you and only you being the wholesome and sweet girl that you are.

I don't think you are "taking up space" on this planet of people... if anything there are plenty of other people out there that, in my opinion, ARE taking up space but it's definately not people like you.

I really hope you get to feeling better soon... I know how depression can bring you down and make you feel worthless and that life isn't worth living... but it's all in your mind and you'll feel better soon enough. Take care

[Rohag]

Hello, dear Clouds_and_Sun!

Interesting you talk about "crush" and OCD together. Here's a term I just tripped over this past week; maybe there's something in it for you to consider: limerence.

Originally Posted by clouds_and_sun

I am nothing like society aka Hollywood

Thank Heaven! I prefer your society.

[SophiaG]

Hollywood is weird. Don't be like them.

[clouds_and_sun]

((hugs to all of you))) thank you all. I never thought of it that way. I am so grateful for your words. Thank you again.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( clouds and sun )))))))))))))))

[di meliora]

Hello, clouds_and_sun. You had no choice in how you got here. You do have a choice about how you are going to react to being here. Each of us is unique. Buying into the herd mentality may seem safe and inconspicuous but it is not fulfilling.

You get to decide your purpose. Your purpose hopefully will provide meaning. Meaning often means making a difference in the lives of others. Instead of belaboring the negatives, focus on the positives of your uniqueness to make the world a better place.

[lynn P.]

When young women enter puberty and start noticing themselves..they're faced with the unrealistic portrayal of "beauty" in magazines, TV, and Hollywood. The beauty industry is one of the greatest threats to women's self esteem. Those models and stars don't wake up looking like their photos. After going through hours of hair, makeup, spray tan...the photos are then photo-shopped. Many also have plastic surgery, fillers to puff their face and make their lips plump. This isn't real beauty. If you watch a TV ad for mascara - these models have false eyelashes on. Here we go and buy that mascara thinking its going to be great.

The moral of this is, don't compare yourself to others. As others have said you're unique and everyone has good assets. You also don't have to follow the same road as others. Concentrate on getting well and focus on your good points. As dusty9838 said, a good man doesn't want a bar girl as a wife. Be real and true to yourself - your natural beauty and good heart will shine.

[MrsBee]

I love that you posted this, in all honestly my boyfriend and I have long long conversations about what the heck is wrong with "hollywood" types. Its sickening really.

If anything you should exhault in yourself for not trying to be like them. Everytime you feel different, remember, you're only different because everyone else is the same.

Personally, I like to be a bit different.

[venusss]

Few years ago some people put stickers all over my town which said "we are young and crazy in a world where normal, decent people construct atomic bombs". I adopted it as my slogan.

Normal is overrated. And world needs all kinds of people.

[clouds_and_sun]

[[[hugs]] Thank you all, I hope and pray that one day I will stop liking the wrong guys, the type of guys that see hollywood girls as beautiful and girls like me as riff raff.
I really appreciate your advice.

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by clouds_and_sun

[[[hugs]] Thank you all, I hope and pray that one day I will stop liking the wrong guys, the type of guys that see hollywood girls as beautiful and girls like me as riff raff.
I really appreciate your advice.

Hello clouds_and_sun,

I was just checking to see if you're feeling any better today. You're definately not riff-raff so never let some guy make you think you are. I noticed you suffer from a lot of the same things that I do (anxiety and depression and fears of being left out and alone). So you are definately not alone in how you feel. I hope you have a great day.