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Old 12-20-2013, 09:27 AM   #11
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Default Re: Trouble setting boundaries with others

I found these articles and sites about the issue:
Empathy | Greater Good
Compassion over empathy could help prevent emotional burnout (Wired UK)
Compassion Definition | Greater Good
Is Overactive Empathy Ruining Your Life?
Empathy from Birth | Greater Good
Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel
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Old 12-20-2013, 10:32 AM   #12
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Default Re: Trouble setting boundaries with others

thanks... i see now that 'empathy' taken to the extreme, is really just another form of not paying attention to my own needs...of not feeling worthy...another form of feeling like i do not matter....

Bingo, Chloe! How many counselors have asked me repeatedly, but what about YOU? I would be describing other people, concentrating on them. At its worst, I wasn't getting dressed or doing laundry! I could easily get lost in concentrating on others. I still struggle to direct thoughts to what supports me! Recently, lying in bed trying to go back to sleep, I was trying to concentrate on the Lord's Prayer or Hail Marys, but my brain was writing a letter to someone explaining how unfair it all is! I've written that letter now, but -- sheesh! -- what a price I paid!
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Old 12-20-2013, 06:22 PM   #13
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Default Re: Trouble setting boundaries with others

Punto, I so appreciate the specific examples you share from your life!

Clara, those links were very useful for me, and I imagine will help others here, too.

Thank you, both so much.
Just discussing this issue on here helped me deal with some more boundary setting I needed to do in my life today... breathing into the ok-ness that I need to take care of me, too...if I am to be able to look into the mirror and see a whole person looking back.
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