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Old 02-27-2017, 07:36 PM #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bearguardian View Post
27 02 17

The second message.

Im a bit manic today. No sleep for 24 hours so far. I had a few downward spirals but mania continued. I will probably be half dead tomorrow.

This morning I got a weird math book "mathematical stories" roughly translated. It contains 12 mathematical gems simply explained with beautiful illustrations.

Im also immersed in Learys tarot of personal and species evolution.
Hope you can sleep a bit
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Old 02-28-2017, 07:12 AM #52
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I did get sleep but as expected was afraid to get out of bed. Everything feels like horror now. I needed courage to even look at these messages.
Thanks Clara.
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Old 02-28-2017, 12:44 PM #53
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28 02 17

I almost recovered from an episode so far.

Stared into a beautiful-blue-faced-alien-girl. That helped.

Nine of swords is the card of the day. Image speaks for itself.
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Old 02-28-2017, 05:30 PM #54
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01 03 17 PRIVACY

I am nearing the completion of my writing project and also bumped into a post about privacy in other forum. So the problem is.

I write for exploration of my inner world and my illness.

I dont want to be associated with what I write.

I also dont wish it to just disappear into oblivion.

So the problem is if I even self publish by making a few prints and handing them to some (my T and my neurotic sister are the only ones I can think of anyway) the thing is most likely to be spread.

Dont tell me to publish under pseudonym, that means nothing today, it would be traced to me.

And apart from all this, I feel like I write nonsense that can only be understood by me giving it sense.

Thats it. I suck at writing like in everything else. I should delete this post.

Bwah, here it is anyway. Maybe I could read-a-card from your comment if you have some.
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Old 03-01-2017, 05:39 AM #55
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bearg--please don't stop writing...you are ok...don't turn against yourself...
we are all ok and we are trying hard to live in this world of bad and good...
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Old 03-01-2017, 12:34 PM #56
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01 03 17 THE WORLD CARD

Thank you turtle friend.

Had a little sleep in the afternoon and downed safely from mania and writing.

Tomorrow morning I have to call-order meds and print my book for a safer reading (read 2 panic attacks).

Still not sure what Im gonna do with it, but it will be a nice addition to my library. Im loving the way its turning out. Its my weird little thing.
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Old 03-02-2017, 06:44 AM #57
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02 03 17 THE HANGED MAN

Im not a control freak yet I cannot leave my dog alone in my room. My room is a shrine of art and delicate stuff, things animals dont appriciate much.

I also dont allow opening the door without knocking.

And nobody is allowed in my room, except the dog, and only when Im also around.

Im not a fan of most of uncertainty expressions, they trigger me seriously.

Also at times I believe that my room is traveling in space-time pulled by my neuroenergy.

Seriously.
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Old 03-02-2017, 07:45 AM #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bearguardian View Post
01 03 17 THE WORLD CARD

Thank you turtle friend.

Had a little sleep in the afternoon and downed safely from mania and writing.

Tomorrow morning I have to call-order meds and print my book for a safer reading (read 2 panic attacks).

Still not sure what Im gonna do with it, but it will be a nice addition to my library. Im loving the way its turning out. Its my weird little thing.
keep going good bearg..
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Old 03-02-2017, 09:20 AM #59
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Old 03-02-2017, 06:30 PM #60
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03 03 17

Thanks fuzzy, turtle, clara and all...

I handed my book to my sister and she actually likes it (she told me that before I told her it was written by me).

Theres lots of psychology (+math&weirdness) in it so I think it will help her in some way. It completes my other gifts (tarot and philosophy novel).

And now for a fresh start in my new writing project.

There was an incident in printing the book when I had to correct lots of word program incompatibles. Headache and nausea I have now.

Damn you people. Switch all to linux and thrash that windows tyranny.
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Last edited by bearguardian; 03-02-2017 at 06:49 PM.
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