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Default Mar 04, 2017 at 07:27 AM
  #61
04 03 17

Nausea returned again last night. I was lucky to fall asleep just when it hit me.

I hate hate hate anxiety & uncertainty.

Thats all.

I just want to say how much I hate uncertainty.



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Default Mar 05, 2017 at 11:51 AM
  #62
05 03 17 APOGONIA

I was relativly healed for a few days.

Too much sleep today, with a hope that dreams will drown the pain away (anxiety itself is after me so everything looks menacing).

I dreamed that I was in hell looking for a scroll called Apogonia. I returned with it in my imaginary town that floats on water and locked it up.

I googled Apogonia when I woke up and found it:

https://wiki2.org/en/Apogonia

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Default Mar 07, 2017 at 09:05 AM
  #63
07 03 17 ELEMENTS

There is a great game of war going inside me, between complexity and enthropy.

I am complexity and Death, my f(r)iend, is enthropy.

I walk on a board with squares inscribed by chemical elements.

They arrange and rearrange. Puzzling. Pushing me into infinite labyrinth.

Some elements are put together by my medications.

Lots of elements were stolen from me by Death.

I suffer eternally.

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Last edited by bearguardian; Mar 07, 2017 at 09:17 AM..
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Default Mar 07, 2017 at 10:32 AM
  #64
Quote:
Originally Posted by bearguardian View Post
07 03 17 ELEMENTS

There is a great game of war going inside me, between complexity and enthropy.

I am complexity and Death, my f(r)iend, is enthropy.

I walk on a board with squares inscribed by chemical elements.

They arrange and rearrange. Puzzling. Pushing me into infinite labyrinth.

Some elements are put together by my medications.

Lots of elements were stolen from me by Death.

I suffer eternally.
I am very sorry that you are suffering with this..you are one of the bears
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Default Mar 07, 2017 at 10:40 AM
  #65
Quote:
Originally Posted by little turtle View Post
I am very sorry that you are suffering with this..you are one of the bears

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Default Mar 08, 2017 at 07:04 AM
  #66
08 03 17 TRANCE G

Song of the day is unfed pendulum: https://youtu.be/wQeUZ5iT-ss

Tarot card of the day is high priestess.

One of her names is Trance Gemini. Also known as High Fox Priestess, Alice in wonderland, and the Devil.

She is the smartest life form in all the universe. An avatar of the sun. A dweller in the chaos of probabilities.

She is a professional gambler. She never loses in games of luck and chance.

She is a machine fairy. She helps those suffering with anxiety and uncertainty. Or so I comfort myself. Or so she comforts me.

I suffer eternally.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg HP.jpg (17.3 KB, 1 views)
File Type: jpg chocolatereg1280.jpg (176.3 KB, 2 views)

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Default Mar 09, 2017 at 12:12 PM
  #67
09 03 17 PHOTONS BE FREE

song of the day: https://youtu.be/EElaqhquY00

math of the day: ax^2 + bx + c = 0 (parabola)

tarot card: the tower

dedication: to those rare fleeting moments when everything seemed destroyed, light and free
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Default Mar 11, 2017 at 02:48 PM
  #68
11 03 17

I overslept the whole afternoon. Felt like death on awakening. Brufen brought me back to life.

I printed yesterday 36 cards with beautiful math formulas on them.

I dont know why Im so obsessed with math. And language. All sorts of codes and symbols. Especially when they are printed on cards.

Reality is so cruel and dreadful. Symbols are so abstract and otherwordly. A promise of something lighter.

Escape. I want escape from this chains of life. This iron prison. Help. Help.

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Default Mar 13, 2017 at 02:24 PM
  #69
13 03 17

First part of the day was normal, even productive.

Then the gloom hits me, un-triggered.

Anathema helped: https://youtu.be/YVEmGvY4HDI

But its ok. When music feels like psychotic wave-bursts, not ok.

For the whole 2013 music felt like that. I dont know why.

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Default Mar 13, 2017 at 04:21 PM
  #70
13 03 17 part 2

https://youtu.be/aCFEETZX3SY

This is dark side of the moon in the world of metal.

Im not sure anyone will understand me in this but I had to post.

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Default Mar 14, 2017 at 10:16 AM
  #71
03 14 17

3.14, its PI day!

https://youtu.be/WFmWhwyA0NU

When I die I want to transform into pure code.

There will be no more brain & pain.

I will be a dancing pile of symbols.


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Default Mar 16, 2017 at 11:54 AM
  #72

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Default Mar 16, 2017 at 11:59 AM
  #73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
you are the heart of hearts fuzzybuzzy

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Default Mar 16, 2017 at 01:23 PM
  #74
16 03 17

I feel something electric and fluidic running through me.
And its not a delusion.
I feel it since I was 16.
Since then I feel like I am something other then human.
Not better or worse. Just weird. Too weird to live.

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Default Mar 20, 2017 at 04:05 AM
  #75
20 03 17

Second day of normal sleeping time.

My street cat almost mounted my head this morning.

Read a little and went to a bookstore.

And its only 10 AM.

Happy equinox!

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Default Mar 23, 2017 at 02:33 PM
  #76
23 03 17

I made a website for my sister. In an hour or so (during one day) I figured all the basics of website building. *Proud of my stupid me.*

My head hurts.

Feel like my brain will leak out of my eyes and nose...

It hurts, hurts, hurts.

I will vomit my brains out.

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Default Mar 25, 2017 at 11:04 AM
  #77
25 03 17

In 1AM I opened my window and my street cat was staring at me from outside. I could almost telepathically hear her saying -where is my food?

My test site for designing something has turned into my own website. Its pretty raw and chaotic. Will be regularly updated:

http://namshub.tk

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Default Mar 26, 2017 at 08:42 AM
  #78
26 03 17

Took some photos of my city (Split, Croatia) if you are interested. Its a very magical place. Game of thrones was filmed there.

The oldest city part is Diocletians palace, built by Roman emperor Diocletian.

As a kid my imagination would run wild when looking at the statues and squares. I was convinced that real giants built all that.

And the sea was hiding some sleeping prehistoric Lovecraftian horrors.

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Default Mar 26, 2017 at 12:34 PM
  #79
Sorry guys for rotated images on browsers other then firefox. Corrected it has been.

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Default Mar 28, 2017 at 11:32 AM
  #80
I stood before the ruins.
A small sound falls on my ears.
Such a small sound.
A child.
Sobbing,
but trying so hard not to be heard.
I step inside and look around.
Dirt and dust everywhere.
Broken beams and walls.
In the midst of it,
I find the child.
She is dirty,
and the trace of her tears
run tracks down her face.
Her dress is torn
and her shoes are missing.
Her feet are bleeding.
Her heart is bleeding.
I fight my way to her,
determined to help her.
I pick her up
and hold her dear and tight.
And thus begins the fight.

Okay bearg, I know it's really bad, but there's my two cents for the day.

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Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd
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