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Junior Member
Singer1984
Doing better.
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 22
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#1
... I'm a smoker,no girlfriend,I pray to God to end my life. I just,see programs about abused black old people and remember my grandmother back when she was alive. I keep praying to God,to be a better man,die,be somebody special. At the moment he's not answering. I feel miserable. Ive taken steps to get better health,cut down on my smokes. Last night I took 15+ ibuprofen and a glass of wine. I'm still going. I an going to pray to God.
Last edited by notz; Apr 21, 2017 at 10:38 PM.. Reason: Added trigger icon |
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*Laurie*, Anonymous59898, MickeyCheeky, MtnTime2896, MuseumGhost, Thirty shades
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Rizzar
is nonplussed.
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: Inside
Posts: 424
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#2
Hello, Singer1984. Please persevere.
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Grand Magnate
Patagonia
Pessimistic cynic. Beware
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
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#3
So how old are you???
I've heard people say that if god is not answering, that maybe that IS the answer. What kind of answer are you truly looking for...& what have you tried to find those answers? I'm sorry you feel this way. Do you take any meds or see a therapist? Maybe talking to someone might help? And I think that much ibuprofen will just rip your guts up. __________________ "Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
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Junior Member
Singer1984
Doing better.
Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 22
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#4
Yes I take meds,they help for a while,but I aliken that to burying my head in the sand. Talking. I know,I have to grow up and am taking steps. See you around user:Patagonia.
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MuseumGhost
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MuseumGhost
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New Member
Rob1713
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Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 9
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#5
I'm sorry to hear your suffering. Sometimes when I've felt similar, one thing that's helped me is a knowledge I'm not always going to feel this way. It's knowing that the dark and drained state I find myself can't be permanent. There's always going to be a light at the end of tunnel, even if you presently can't see it.
For what it's worth I currently find myself feeling like I'm in a tunnel of dark misery. But I make effort to realise it's inevitable that sooner or later I'll emerge. I dunno if that's of any use; either way, try and do the right thing, and take care. |
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MuseumGhost
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justafriend306
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#6
Quote:
The Ibuprofin is a concern for me. Even taken in repeated regular doses it will damage your heart and liver permanently - even more so than your smoking will. |
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Legendary
MickeyCheeky
My echo is the only voice coming back
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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#7
I'm really sorry you're going through. Please, keep sharing here, but do not harm yourself..
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New Member
Ninjacop
has no updates.
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 7
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#8
Only god can redeem the life he gave to us.
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Grand Magnate
MuseumGhost
Fortior cotidie
Member Since: Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
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#9
Dear Singer,
You can always talk to us here. The responses you've gotten show me again how much people care and are willing to listen and try to help. That is a wonderful thing. I have to disagree with you about the "head in the sand" thinking, around taking meds. There is definitely medical proof that medications not only help us do better, but they can actually, physically repair the areas of our brains that suffer from damage because of depresssion. Getting older is no picnic, I'm with you there. I've been through an awful lot of changes in the last few years...and I can agree, it's not for sissies, this aging thing. But I want to remind you, your worth is far more than you can ever imagine, even on your best day. So you have to trust that you are worth every effort to remain with us. It takes courage to reach out for help. You've taken the first step. Please, keep talking to us. With sincerest good wishes, and massive hugs, MG |
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FearLess47
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Martha2019
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Member Since: Apr 2019
Location: Ocean Springs
Posts: 26
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#10
You have described exactly how I feel. There is hope somewhere.....in the future.
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Grand Magnate
Thirty shades
Much love to all
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,798
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#11
Some days are much harder than others.
You are not alone with how you are feeling. Some days I lie down and wait until my inner child is ready to accept my love Finding a connection and moving away from self abandonment is a start towards a less painful day. I send positive vibes for some relief from your pain |
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Anonymous32451
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#12
I relate to this.
not for the same reasons as you, (I am still pretty young), for me it's a case of losing too many years and not being able to get them back. I have this fear that 1 day, when I'm old, and looking back on my life, all I will see is wasteland- empty and abandoned, and before any of that comes true (it all ready is), my life needs to end- I could go on living, sure, but I think to go on living you need to have at least something in mind- something to work towards, I don't have that- and I would rather die than continue on this road of trying new things that just lead to more unhappyness and not being comfortable with my life situation. I've accepted that I'll never be able to work, and I'll never be a theme park engineer, that's fine- just, when you don't know what to do with yourself and when nothing you try brings you any happyness at all, you start wondering about this sort of stuff. |
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splitimage
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Member Since: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,250
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#13
I turned 50 this year and really wonder sometimes if it's worth going on. I haven't worked in my field in 10 years, and now am unlikely to be able to, thanks to being seen as obsolete.
I had a bad accident a couple of months ago, that I'm taking forever to heal from, and I feel like between the followup appointments from that, and the regular round of tests one is supposed to have when one turns 50, I feel like all I do is go to Dr's appointments. I have a few hobbies, and some good friends so it's not all totally bleak, but I'm surviving on disability and handouts from my brother. I need a room mate to make my rent. I am no where near where I expected to be at 50. I look ahead and don't see a lot of hope - more of the same, followed by poverty in old age. I've screwed up most of my life by being an alcoholic, now in recovery, and wasted a lot of years and money on booze and let it destroy my career. Throw in the mental health problems, and I just don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. About the only thing that keeps me going, is the knowledge that I'm hard to kill - 3 unsuccessful SU attempts, multiple serious traffic accidents, and my latest headfirst dive down a flight of concrete stairs which I escaped relatively lightly. I figure someone, somewhere out there is looking out for me, so maybe I can make an effort to claw my way back to a somewhat normal life. splitimage |
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MtnTime2896
is down in the forest.
Member Since: Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,270
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#14
I've spent the better part of my life praying. To what? Well that's changed over the years. At this point, it's not so much praying as it is pleading with the universe to make this pain mean something. I've given up on asking to be rid of it and it's done me a bit of good in doing so. I suppose that's my advice that you didn't ask for.
I'm free to pm. Take care, Singer. __________________ "Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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