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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
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#1
I've disappointed all of those who believed in me.. my parents, my friends.. everyone. I'm sorry, I tried my best. It wasn't enough. I'm sorry..
Maybe I should just disappear and never come back.. |
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Anonymous37954, Anonymous57777, Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Fuzzybear, Hobbit House, little turtle, lotusblossom19, markmcc21, MatBell, subtle lights, Sunflower123, Turtle_Rider, unreality, Unrigged64072835
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#2
Why do you think you're a disappointment?
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
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#3
I can't do anything right.. I can't study properly.. I can't even do simple things such as going out and buying something by myself, or even boiling milk. I'm a failure, that's what I am..
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Anonymous57777, Hobbit House
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#4
It sounds like you are really struggling, and I'm sorry to hear that.
Not being able to do certain things doesn't mean you're a disappointment. The people in your life will love you regardless. If another member made a post about not being able to go out and buy something, or having trouble boiling milk, would you call them a disappointment? Likely not, because you are a very supportive and understanding person towards everyone...except yourself. It is easier to be harder on ourselves than others, but that's not fair to us. Are you receiving any help for your mental health struggles? |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Posts: 18
6 |
#5
I feel the exact same way. Trying to hold everything together, but struggling inside so much everyday. There is no telling us, we are important and people love us. We don't feel it!!
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Lotus Land
Posts: 1,424
7 344 hugs
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#6
You are not a disappointment. You are not a failure. One area you're definitely capable in is comforting and supporting others. That's an amazing thing. You're capable of many things, even though you may not be able to see that right now. Why don't you try and show some of the kindness you show others to yourself? Hope you feel better soon.
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MickeyCheeky
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Under the noise floor
Posts: 18,579
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13 11.8k hugs
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#7
You're not a disappointment. You're going through a rough time and everything seems like a failure at times. But what you do is not who you are. You support a lot people here. Time to support yourself.
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MickeyCheeky
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Fuzzybear, Hobbit House, MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#8
Quote:
I don't know how many of my personal threads you have read, but if you have read many at all, I am sure you know I go through similar things as well. Perhaps if you lean on your courage a lil to find the inner strength you need in order to get yourself out into the fresh air or do something you enjoy. That will allow you to "take a step back and relax" a bit. Then you can reanalyze. You say you disappointed everyone - are you truly doing that, or did you disappoint yourself down in some way? Is it something totally different not related to any of what you listed off but rather more so related to something in the past? Finding the answers to those questions will allow you to understand you really are not a failure. These are not just words being told to comfort you. They are truth. When you are able to see the true root cause, it isn't as easy to cast an unfair burden on yourself. Then you can focus on healing again, rather than on the negativity you are perceiving. You are a wonderful person. Kind and warm-hearted. Don't lose sight of that - we haven't. *hugs* __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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#9
what you do is not who you are
I'm sorry you're in pain, please try to be kind to self __________________ |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since May 2010
Location: Cape Town South Africa
Posts: 11,937
(SuperPoster!)
13 600 hugs
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#10
You are not a disappointment.
Kt doesn't matter that studying didn't go as planned, who cares if the milk boiling was a balls up, and the world didn't end be because your trip to the store went south. YOU TRIED., And as I understand it, the only failure is in not trying at all. Keep trying, we become better at things, at life, with practice. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
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#11
Thank you so much, guys.. your words are much more wiser than anything I could ever say
You're all right.. I tried my best, at least I suppose.. but what if my best isn't good enough for this world? |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#12
Sorry you are feeling so badly.
I am a really good cook. I also used to have "trouble boiling milk". Here is a true story (I was 14 or 15?). My mom worked and I was the oldest so I would cook simple things for my brother and sister. There was a birthday cake my mom had made in a glass container. I planned to make my brother and sister grilled cheese sandwiches. I placed the skillet on the burner, turned it on and left because in order to brown the sandwiches properly, the pan should be hot. Soon, I hear glass breaking; I returned to the kitchen and find the cake on fire! (I had turned the wrong burner on.) I found the kitchen's fire extinguisher and put it out but it was a big enough fire for the smoke to blacken the ceiling and the wall near the stove. Plus, there was fire extinguisher chemical everywhere! While I was putting the fire out, my brother and sister were screaming and hollering because the whole house was filled with smoke. It is no wonder that my mother occassionally yelled at me: as usual, I had left her with a huge mess! Things are more likely to boil over when we are not the ones to use the stove top everyday. When we cook all the time, we become more familiar with how quickly each setting warms up plus some burners actually get hotter than others on some stoves so a 4 (or medium setting) on a back burner might be more like a 2 on the front burner. Also, beware of multitasking when you cook. Our brain is not able to focus as well when we try to do more than one thing at a time! |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 1,223
9 1,272 hugs
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#13
First, hugs you tight. Second, your thoughts often lie. Maybe none of it is true. I think of all the kind things you do for others. You deserve to be kind to yourself. It is not easily done; i know. Go easy on yourself Mickey. One day at a time. Do not isolate yourself. Reach out to others. Try something and who cares i its not perfect at least you tried. Get involved in a group even if you don't know anyone sometimes it is surprising all the commonalities people have. I know this is a lot but its a few of the things I have tried when i am too low. hud you even tighter you are super to me. I will check my messages if you want to chat,
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Lotus Land
Posts: 1,424
7 344 hugs
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#14
Your best is always good enough. No more can be asked of you than your best or it would be flat-out unreasonable. I can see that you are putting forth effort. Even if something doesn't end up perfect, you still were strong enough to try and you should give yourself credit for that. I think there is very often beauty in what we consider our imperfections. Different routes can lead different people to the same destination. Just because your way isn't the recommended way according to someone else, that doesn't necessarily make it the wrong way. Just try to go at your own pace, giving yourself breaks when necessary. As long as you live there is an opportunity to get back up and try once more. Please try to be gentle towards yourself.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
given |
#15
I'm really thankful that I've met all of you guys here. You always have something smart, insightful and supportive to say. I'll try not to be too hard on myself.. and keep trying everything else, as well.
I guess one of my biggest fears is my fear of falling.. and my fear of disappointing the people I love and care about. I hope to never disappoint you, guys.. |
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Anonymous57777, Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: VA
Posts: 2,053
9 799 hugs
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#16
You are never a disappointment to us. You are just a very caring individual!
__________________ “Then what is your advice to new practitioners”? “The same as for old practitioners! Keep at it “. Ajahn Chah Bipolar 1 PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Panic Attacks Parkinsonism Dissociative Amnesia Abilify 15mg Viiibryd 40mg Clonzapam.05mg x2 Depakote 1500mg Gabapentin 300mg x 3 Wellbutrin 300mg Carbidopa/Levodopa 25mg-100mg x 3 |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,543
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#17
Mickey, I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. You're not a disappointment by a long shot. You're doing just fine. You're making it in this world while dealing with MI. That is so brave and strong. You are a warrior and a survivor.
I always smile when I see and read your posts and messages and so do others. I hope you feel better soon. I'm here if you need to talk. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#18
Your best is all anyone can ever ask of you so it will always be "enough". There will be times folks will tell you "yea well, your best just ain't good enough, do better!" That's usually them having a bad day and taking it out on you so that's their issue, not yours. There will be times you feel your best isn't good enough but that's only because you care so much, use those moments as learning tools. Grow and learn. That's what we do everyday. Sometimes we get hung up bc we messed up or are having hard times. That's ok. Just don't ever let it stop you. You are a wonderful person.
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
given |
#19
You're very wise, Crypt.. thank you. I feel like there's a lot of truth in your words. I'll try to follow your advice..
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#20
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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