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Old 07-18-2017, 06:00 PM #1
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Default Constantly thinking about a friend

I have a friend I talk to everyday, this means so much to me. We are really good friends, but lately our shifts are different and we rarely meet. But we keep in touch almost everyday. I start the conversation most of the time, she does it too sometimes.

This helps me deal with my depression and loneliness, but because of my past experiences in life and my issues with self image, self worth and confidence, I need constant re assurance from my friend, which she is happy to give. I tell her how much it means to me and she always obliges. She trusts me too.

I feel like I should have more faith in her, and shouldn't doubt her. In general, I should have more faith in people. I often feel like a pet dog that needs constant attention.

I care for her well being. I always give her advice when she needs it.

She is the only friend I really talk to. I need advice, I want to be able to think about other things when I'm not online, or she's not online. I have issues myself, I feel so hopeless about my own issues that I really never think about myself.
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Old 07-19-2017, 01:25 AM #2
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

Depression makes me extremely needy for external validation. I try to spread my neediness so no one person gets too much of it. Hope this helps. Are you getting treatment for depression because it seems your obsession might be an unconscious avoidance of your own stuff. I can relate.
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Old 07-19-2017, 02:14 AM #3
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

I feel the exact same way.. I always feel the need to be reassured with other people that we're still friends (especially here at PC..). I'm very needy..
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Old 07-19-2017, 03:26 AM #4
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarbeeMe View Post
Depression makes me extremely needy for external validation. I try to spread my neediness so no one person gets too much of it. Hope this helps. Are you getting treatment for depression because it seems your obsession might be an unconscious avoidance of your own stuff. I can relate.
What you're saying makes sense. Never thought it was related to my depression. Maybe I need to talk about this.

I don't want my friends to feel like they have no one. I keep telling my friends i will reply at anytime. That I am there for them.

I have issues of my own at work that I'm putting aside for now. You're Right.
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Old 07-19-2017, 03:28 AM #5
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I feel the exact same way.. I always feel the need to be reassured with other people that we're still friends (especially here at PC..). I'm very needy..
That's totally me. I need reassurance. I also worry needlessly about how they say bye, how they smile when they say bye, what they type in a msg, and how they type it.
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Old 07-19-2017, 04:02 AM #6
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

I completely understand what you say.. just know that you're not alone in this.
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Old 07-19-2017, 04:40 AM #7
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

I need assurances from certain people in my life. The person I need it the most from gets the angriest about it. I feel like it's a give and take relationship and I do a lot of the giving. It doesn't cost any time or energy to reassure somebody that they are loved and important. I'm glad you and your friend have an easy exchange. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Best wishes.
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Old 07-19-2017, 05:10 AM #8
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I completely understand what you say.. just know that you're not alone in this.
Thank you.
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Old 07-19-2017, 05:12 AM #9
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
I need assurances from certain people in my life. The person I need it the most from gets the angriest about it. I feel like it's a give and take relationship and I do a lot of the giving. It doesn't cost any time or energy to reassure somebody that they are loved and important. I'm glad you and your friend have an easy exchange. I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Best wishes.
I believe my friend does her best. Sometimes when she's busy, I would appreciate it if she just said "I'm busy" but that is all.
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Old 07-19-2017, 05:16 AM #10
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Default Re: Constantly thinking about a friend

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Originally Posted by introspectiveme View Post
I believe my friend does her best. Sometimes when she's busy, I would appreciate it if she just said "I'm busy" but that is all.
I wish this person in my life was more like that. They take it as an insult when I ask for reassurances. How hard is it to validate somebody? It sounds like you and your friend have a good system down.
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