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Grand Magnate
will19
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Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
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#201
Quote:
Yea I find that to be upsetting, too. There are times when I've seen paramedics at some of the houses near me. I know that there are some elderly people, some of them had been there since their houses were build in the 1950s. Seeing paramedics gives me dreaded feelings that can stay with me for a while. And then there are times when I think that I could be next. After all, I'm getting up there in age and had major surgery a few years ago. |
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Anonymous44144, smallbluefish, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123, Thirty shades
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Member
smallbluefish
- x
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 101
295 hugs
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#202
Quote:
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Anonymous44144, Sunflower123, Thirty shades
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Member
smallbluefish
- x
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 101
295 hugs
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#203
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Anonymous44144, Marla500, Sunflower123, Thirty shades
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Guest
Anonymous32451
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#204
I have restructured my mood diary.
well it seemed to me that some of the stuff in it wasn't really relevant to my mood (and less like a diary), but now it is after dinner yesterday I spent some time going through the diffrent sections and editing it. I didn't sleep, in sted had flashbacks to various times I've been in the ambulance- scary stuff today had to go to the shop for some washing up powder, but I went early on in the morning so it was still quiet now home chilling and being boring. (nothing knew their, then.) might just watch some soap operas after I've posted a bit more on here for dinner I am having chicken wings.. |
Anonymous44144, Smileonmyface, Thirty shades
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Grand Poohbah
Smileonmyface
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Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: nowhere land
Posts: 1,927
1,238 hugs
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#205
stayed in bed this morning longer than i should finally got up when my son was getting too restless. cleaned the sinks, started laundry, teeth brushed, hair combed. another day. i know my husband would be upset if he knew i already gave in and let oldest have computer back. however he is not here and will not have to deal with anything kid related until tomorrow night so i have to do what i need to survive this day.
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Anonymous44144, Thirty shades
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Grand Poohbah
regretful
making progress
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
1,194 hugs
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#206
Working on it...slowly making some progress. Sleeping a bit better these days, but the daily depressed feelings are there when I'm awake. Sticking with the exercise and dietary changes - have to keep that up - I do remember well what it was like to not be depressed and with persistent work, I'll get there again. Wishing all of you well in your personal struggle with this invisible affliction.
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Anonymous44144, Smileonmyface, Thirty shades, WishfulThinker66
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Magnate
WishfulThinker66
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Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
117 hugs
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#207
A sombre mood has spread from across the street. The old woman on the other side passed away yesterday and I am sad about it. She was part of my regular routine, for when I walked my dog each early morning she would be outside. Never such a morning would we not great one another and it was always a pleasant start to my day. She is gone now and this morning's walk was actually difficult.
But there was a bittersweet moment yesterday evening when I encountered the old gal's daughter as the dog and I passed by. She stopped me to tell me how comforting it was to see us during what had been a difficult time during the day. Apparently her mother spoke often about our morning encounters and had expressed how fond she was of the dear dog. This brought tears to my own eyes the realisation that something so simple would have such impact on someone's life. It is odd then to feel a small sense of happiness during such a very sad time. How is it possible to have a wee smile yet feel so utterly down at the same time? |
Anonymous44144, Marla500, nikon, Smileonmyface, Thirty shades
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Marla500, nikon
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Grand Member
nikon
has no updates.
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Closet
Posts: 842
678 hugs
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#208
Quote:
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Anonymous44144, Smileonmyface
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Grand Member
nikon
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Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Closet
Posts: 842
678 hugs
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#209
i was off today and although i enjoyed being able to sleep in, i've felt kind of down, empty and aimless. i haven't been enjoying work lately so i don't know where the hell i'm wanting to be if not work or home. did some painting, which was nice, also got paint in my eye - long story. did some exercise. have been trying to set up an appointment with a new therapist but can't get through on the phone. i'm not looking forward to work tomorrow.
i was in IP treatment for quite a long time a few years ago, and have a whole lot of baggage left over from it. the therapists there had no boundaries, were manipulative and, i allow myself to think when i'm being totally honest, emotionally abusive. at the time i went there from living with my family, which was an unhappy situation, and in many ways i felt better in IP, because it felt like a functional family. certain things were really bad and there was always underlying fear, but there was a sense of community and being held that hasn't happened anywhere else. i sometimes wish i could get that back when i feel down like this, but at the same time i would never want to go back to that IP place. |
Anonymous44144, Marla500, Smileonmyface, Thirty shades
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Legendary
Rose76
Treading water.
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,404
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5,302 hugs
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#210
I'm doing fine. What a relief.
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Anonymous44144, Marla500, Smileonmyface
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Moderator
Community Support Team
88Butterfly88
is fluttering by
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,177
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10.5k hugs
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#211
Was depressed this morning but feeling okay now.
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Anonymous44144, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123, Thirty shades, Yzen
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Marla500, Thirty shades
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Legendary
Rose76
Treading water.
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,404
(SuperPoster!)
5,302 hugs
given |
#212
Quote:
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Anonymous44144, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
will19
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
1,097 hugs
given |
#213
My friend and I had a little bit of an argument last night. It was about me wanting to leave my place. We argue about that a lot. I don't know why that matters a lot to him for? His life is not going to change with my move. There was a time I suffered when my parents made decisions that effected me; and I had no say in it.
Today was an OK kind of day. I worked out and had a bit of a panic attack and felt depressed while doing it. But at least it went well. Went to the pool area and it was very nice because no one was there. No one to ruin my night this time. |
Anonymous44144, nikon, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123, Yzen
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Anonymous44144
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#214
I am sick with flu - sore throat, headache, light fever and sore muscles. Lying down in bed for the past two days. I need to go out to buy paracetamol(something like aspirin) and vitamin c supplements, but I m too weak to go out of the house.
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nikon, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123, Thirty shades, Yzen
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Guest
Anonymous32451
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#215
Possible trigger:
still unable to control my overeating, still not sleeping and in a lot of chronic pain my mood would probably be good if it wasn't for my ****ing mother |
Anonymous44144, nikon, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123, Thirty shades, Yzen
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Grand Member
nikon
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Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: Closet
Posts: 842
678 hugs
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#216
hugs to everyone who is having a hard time
i've been really tired today and a little bit down/weary. my eyes are itchy from getting paint in them. i get brain zaps which are apparently just a side effect of the combo of meds i'm on, and today they are very bad, and i am really dizzy. i don't know if there's even anything i can do about it, because it might all be my medication, but i have been on this combination for about a year now and it has worked well for my mood and anxiety. if i have to mess with it because of physical side effects that will be incredibly annoying. if these are side effects, the dizziness, brain zaps and floaty feelings have just been getting worse over the past few months. i'm soooo glad it's almost the weekend. |
Anonymous32451, Anonymous44144, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123, Yzen
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Sunflower123
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Anonymous32451
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#217
Quote:
half a day to go.... I love fridays, such a good feeling |
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Anonymous44144, Smileonmyface, Sunflower123
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nikon
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,300
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81.2k hugs
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#220
I’m completely undeserving and worthless
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nikon, Smileonmyface, Yzen
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