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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 403
7 553 hugs
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#1
My life fell apart years ago
I completely isolated myself after losing my job and break with my first boyfriend. We had been together 3 years and a half But there wasn't really love... that's the truth I was 25 and had the classic crysis you can have at that point of your life (I'm 31 now) I started to go down mentally I think about it now. I don't want to find an "escape goat", at all. I'm responsible of what happened But I can't believe that my sister didn't do really anything I don't want to be offensive, she's a good person. But she's emotionally immature. It's "complicated". There are some reasons to me to get triggered My family has been problematic, I was(am) the youngest I fought to fix the situation, but not enough, not in the right way I seriously can't believe that I'm still here after destroying myself so much I feel humiliated. Also crazy things happened in the last two years I was a curious person, interested in things I became a so called hikikomori, as an adult The last three years I developped psychosis It's been so much and I can't get out of it Til a certain moment I used to be quite ok, active I travelled, I worked, and I tried to be caring But couldn't focus enough I find it hard to be taken seriously now and it's also that i feel guity and deal with regrets Sorry I'm just beyond |
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bshaffer836, Fuzzybear, TunedOut
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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#2
I'm sending hugs
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Gasplessy
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Member
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: lol
Posts: 94
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#3
31 is still young I feel like you can bounce back.
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bpcyclist, Gasplessy
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#4
You have the rest of a very long life ahead of you! Don't give up!
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Gasplessy
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 403
7 553 hugs
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#5
Thank you very much
I'm sorry for what I've done Wish i was more responsible and able to care for myself I never got a degree, so at almost 32 and long term unemploymeng is over The problem is the guilt I'm very sorry for my parents. They were fragile and had a sad life I failed to save them even though I tried when I was younger. I was lost I used to work, I was proud but still lost. Didn't have a long term plan Crazy violent **** happen in this crazy world and I became a failure adult I just want this tragic waste of skin to be wash away because I can't handle it and the regrets anymore Done too stupid things |
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bshaffer836
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#6
Why was it your job to save your parents? Your job is to save yourself. As I said before, you are quite young. You can still have a fantastic career, if you choose that. I feel like a failure because I got sick at the height of my career and had to quit. But that wasn't my fault. Life happens. I am not a failure. I am a success for dealing with this terrible illness the way I have. The fact is, we all have to deal with difficult, unpleasant challenges in our lives. People in your age group are dealing with cancer and bone marrow transplants and heart disease and the unexpected death of a young spouse and bankruptcy and multiple sclerosis. Stuff happens. The question isn't 'Why did this happen to me?' The question is "What am I going to do about it?'
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Gasplessy
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 403
7 553 hugs
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#7
You are right
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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