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Old 12-23-2018, 10:44 PM #1
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Default What does your depression feel like?

I found this online and found it to ring true for me on very depressed days.

Depression is:

Wanting to be alone,
but not wanting to feel lonely.
Being too tired to get out of bed,
but having your mind so full of thoughts you are unable to sleep.
Wanting to be with friends,
but feeling unable to socialize.
Worrying about everything,
but at the same time caring about nothing.
Wanting someone to understand how you feel and why,
but being unable to put "numb" into words.



Would anyone like to share, in your own words, what depression feels like or means for you?
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Old 12-24-2018, 05:01 AM #2
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

I have always described my depression like being in a crowded elevator (but in sted of passengers, they are thoughts)

you can't open the door because it's stuck (can't escape the thoughts), and their is no breathing space
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Old 12-24-2018, 08:09 PM #3
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Exactly what you wrote. Its irony. Don't you think? Like we know what we want and need to be happy and healthy, but it just doesn't go our way.
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Old 12-24-2018, 08:37 PM #4
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Trig Re: What does your depression feel like?

So, my original post was something I found online but there's a lot of truth to it.

Here's my own personal description of what depression feels like for me:

When I sink far enough, I find myself in what I call "the other dimension." It is a strange place which somehow looks exactly like my current surroundings, whatever they may be at the time, but something is radically different...something has shifted.

There is light but it isn't "normal" or healthy light. It fluctuates between searing fluorescence and darkness. How can light be dark?? I don't know but it happens in the other dimension.

There are walls all around me there but they are invisible; I can see out and people can see in. But they don't see what I see or feel in the other dimension. My senses are present in the other dimension yet altered. For example, I could hear one of my favorite songs...my ears hear it but my spirit cannot respond to it...cannot draw any joy or solace from it. My spirit is somehow disconnected from my senses...from my own self.

In the other dimension, it is never clear how or why I wound up there or when/if I will leave. Until, at some point, I realize I am not actually there anymore. I may not leave for long. I may be residing very close to the other dimension. But at times, I just realize that I am not currently behind those walls.

I could go on but you folks probably heard enough about the other dimension!!!
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Old 12-24-2018, 08:40 PM #5
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Quote:
Originally Posted by metalchick View Post
Exactly what you wrote. Its irony. Don't you think? Like we know what we want and need to be happy and healthy, but it just doesn't go our way.

Agreed! Irony is a huge part of it which is very difficult to convey to people who have never felt that way. Of course I am glad they have never felt that way because I would not wish depression on anyone!
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Old 12-31-2018, 05:28 PM #6
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

If you saw me, you wouldn't think I am depressed (well, maybe if I haven't trimmed my beard for a while). In reality, everything is too much work. I just recently cleaned up my apartment for the first time in 3 weeks!! Most of the time I have no mood to talk to anyone. I sleep at daytime, and stay awake all night. I don't sleep more than 8 hours, but I have no energy to do anything other than sitting and surfing the Internet and watching YouTube and Netflix. I don't go out very much, unless for necessities. I think I have some apathetic tendencies that I don't care about anything or anyone at this stage, but I get very sensitive and cry when watching emotional videos or scenes.
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Old 01-02-2019, 12:43 PM #7
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sans Nom View Post
I could go on but you folks probably heard enough about the other dimension!!!
Wow, HL - your description was amazing and really resonated with me. All of my perceptions are *completely* off when I'm in an episode, though again you put it so eloquently. One of the strongest things that are warped (and in overdrive) for me are my memories (virtually all memories), which has always been tough to deal with since, outside of depressive episodes, I've had a very happy, full life (i.e., no abuse, childhood traumas, etc.). It's so strange, because I'm always able to look back fondly on (almost) all of my memories when I'm not in the "other" dimension.

PS This is my very first post here so please correct any... missteps.
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Old 01-02-2019, 10:30 PM #8
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Major depression feels to me like Ive lost all of my loved ones and everything else that matters to me in life and all that is left is bleakness. Its excruciating.
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Old 01-02-2019, 10:31 PM #9
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Quote:
Originally Posted by roske1 View Post
Wow, HL - your description was amazing and really resonated with me. All of my perceptions are *completely* off when I'm in an episode, though again you put it so eloquently. One of the strongest things that are warped (and in overdrive) for me are my memories (virtually all memories), which has always been tough to deal with since, outside of depressive episodes, I've had a very happy, full life (i.e., no abuse, childhood traumas, etc.). It's so strange, because I'm always able to look back fondly on (almost) all of my memories when I'm not in the "other" dimension.

PS This is my very first post here so please correct any... missteps.
Hello and a warm welcome to you!
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Old 01-03-2019, 12:11 AM #10
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Default Re: What does your depression feel like?

Depression makes me feel dead inside. I want so much to feel happy, but it seems impossible.
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