[lovejones24]

Okay so I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I means I do but then again i dont. It feels like I can’t trust anyone and I don’t want to tbh. So Idek why I’m posting this maybe I want my feelings to feel valid like maybe someone else gets it. I feel overly sensitive bc in college I had the most female friends I’ve ever had in life. I went to an all girls high school and was a loner. College I decided to give females a shot. When I met the girls there were already red flags I decided to ignore which I have a habit of doing. I have a habit of seeing the best Ik ppl even when it’s not there. And to make a long story short a lot of the girls took my kindness for weakness and when I wld confront them or speak up they were shocked bc they thought I was an imbecile or something. They tried to jump me they set me up to be sexually assaulted basically and just too much. I was always a loner in grade and high school. I thought college wld be different. Also I was always bullied by other girls in school and I had no idea you cld be an adult and get bullied. Anyways fast forward to 2018 I went through the darkest depression and I isolated myself from my whole college. And ended up leaving the school. Then the crazy part is my oldest sister who’s ten years older than me turned out to be a narcissistic sociopath. Who basically love bombed me into staying with her only to beat me up with her words and use me for her own monetary benefit. Smh. I have a best friend but it’s like I have trust issues and I’m withdrawing from her. It seems so petty to be mad but I kind of feel like she isn’t really a great friend like she says bc she never visited me at her college but I visited her. And then I spent ton of money on her for her birthdays but I didn’t get anything and I know you shldnt give to get back but I do value reciprocation! I like to get back the same I put in. It’s like when she was lonely and hurting that’s when she needed me but now that she has a car and a great job she doesn’t need me anymore. And honestly I don’t have the energy for this anymore. I don’t have the energy to make friendships work. Bc no matter if you tell someone you’re wounded they don’t gaf they’re only looking for what they can get out of you. I don’t think everyone is like this I just don’t have the energy to wear my heart on my sleeve and let ppl in and then theyhurte so badly again. I do believe I have trust issues but I really don’t want friends anymore. I’m fine being alone. Sometimes I get those days I wish I cld have a good friendship but then I don’t care anymore.

[Thirty shades]

So sorry you have had to go through that.

Bullies have super ego's...
They are responsible for their actions

Be your own best friend....

[mountainstream]

Originally Posted by lovejones24

. And honestly I don’t have the energy for this anymore. I don’t have the energy to make friendships work. Bc no matter if you tell someone you’re wounded they don’t gaf they’re only looking for what they can get out of you.

I feel the same. I can't decide if people that don't feel this way actually do have good friends OR are just very forgiving.

My boss is an extrovert and I said to him the other day that if Hitler walked into room my boss would say he was a "good guy". He said no but I think it is true. He just doesn't seem to have the capacity that I do to be able to hold grudges or to really recognize when someone has been using him. Consequently it seems he is beloved.... but widely used. But he doesn't care about that.

I wonder sometimes if this is the key... just making myself less able to notice when people are not my friend and not caring about them using me.. but, I can't. I am just "smarter" than most people and I can see these things.

I want friends, I really do. And I am a good friend. But I cannot tolerate people using me or betraying me or liking other people better than me. So I would rather be alone. No matter what trials that makes for me.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

So sorry you have had to go through that.

Bullies have super ego's...
They are responsible for their actions

Be your own best friend....

[Goforward]

It's tough going through life without friends. At the same time bad friends aren't worth it either. Maybe give your not so good friend space for a while but keep yourself open to new friends. There are good people out there willing to share. Here's to hope.

[lovejones24]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

I feel the same. I can't decide if people that don't feel this way actually do have good friends OR are just very forgiving.

My boss is an extrovert and I said to him the other day that if Hitler walked into room my boss would say he was a "good guy". He said no but I think it is true. He just doesn't seem to have the capacity that I do to be able to hold grudges or to really recognize when someone has been using him. Consequently it seems he is beloved.... but widely used. But he doesn't care about that.

I wonder sometimes if this is the key... just making myself less able to notice when people are not my friend and not caring about them using me.. but, I can't. I am just "smarter" than most people and I can see these things.

I want friends, I really do. And I am a good friend. But I cannot tolerate people using me or betraying me or liking other people better than me. So I would rather be alone. No matter what trials that makes for me.

Sameeee. I can totally relate.

[Fuzzybear]

[mountainstream]

[Haunted Rain]

People who are easy to be taken advantage of often put out a vibe of being such a person. It could be body language, it could be the way you speak about yourself or something else. But it puts out a signal to users that lets them know 'hey, come take advantage'.

Like many things, moderation is the key. Finding the best in people is a wonderful trait, actually, but that doesn't mean it's wise to let it run rampant. Balancing it with learning how to spot red flags, and also acting on them, can eliminate a lot of problems.

Everyone can be subject to getting taken advantage of so don't forget that.

The books Boundaries and Toxic People by Townsend/Cloud may help you.
There are good people out there, you simply need to learn to be more discerning. I often end up going long periods of time with no friends since i try to be pickier about who i let in. I do get lonely, and sometimes i still make a bad choice, but i'm also not taken advantage of frequently and i'm still able to make friends.

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by Haunted Rain

People who are easy to be taken advantage of often put out a vibe of being such a person. It could be body language, it could be the way you speak about yourself or something else. But it puts out a signal to users that lets them know 'hey, come take advantage'.

Thank you for posting this...

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