[cryingontheinside]

Disappointment is an ubderstatement of how i feel about myself and how my life has turned out.
I saw my reflextion today when i was out . i look hideous. I feel like a freak . im the most ugly human to have ever lived and it makes me wish i was dead because im not good enough .

When i was a teenager I was in love for the first time . i never got to date the boy. I was too shy. Now he's messaging me on facebook years later and wants to go to for coffee . he must of looked at my pictures on facebook. They are pretty pictures from 5 years+ ago when i looked nice. I haven't taken any recent pictures. So he doesn't know how fat and hedius and ugly i look these days . life is so unfair because i was so in love with him i used to dream i would marry him. Now he wants to know me all of a sudden and i look like this. I feel like some higher power has some sick sense if humour. Of course im going to save us both the embarrassment and not go for coffee . i wish i was dead . i don't even eat that much food to be the weight that i am . everyone notices i don't eat that much food . i really want to die. wtf does he come into my life now when i am like a freak ? All those years when i looked good i never got half a chance. i hate myself. its new years in 8 mins and i want to cry myself to sleep

I am sorry you struggle like this. I would suggest to consider it. If you do go, just try not to expect too much. It's just a cup of coffee, and see what happens next.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Sans Nom

I am sorry you struggle like this. I would suggest to consider it. If you do go, just try not to expect too much. It's just a cup of coffee, and see what happens next.

I don't expect anything . don't have feelings for him anymore . I'm not going . I'm an ugly freak . i don't want him to know that

[downandlonely]

Well I haven't seen a photo so I don't know what you look like, but I have to say I think you are exaggerating. You are the most ugly human who ever lived? How did you figure that out? I doubt you have seen everyone who is alive today, not to mention all those who lived before.

Also, you say you are a "freak". So people would pay money to see you at a circus? Do you have extra limbs or scales instead of skin?

I think you are much harder on yourself than other people (including this guy) would be. I seriously doubt if he met you, he would label you the ugliest person who ever lived and a freak.

A lot of this sounds like depression talking. Can you try to talk to yourself as a good friend? For example, if a friend told you she was insecure about her appearance, would you respond by telling her she is a "fat hideous freak". I doubt you would. I do know that this kind of thinking does not cure clinical depression, but i think being gentler with yourself will help a bit.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

Well I haven't seen a photo so I don't know what you look like, but I have to say I think you are exaggerating. You are the most ugly human who ever lived? How did you figure that out? I doubt you have seen everyone who is alive today, not to mention all those who lived before.


Also, you say you are a "freak". So people would pay money to see you at a circus? Do you have extra limbs or scales instead of skin?


I think you are much harder on yourself than other people (including this guy) would be. I seriously doubt if he met you, he would label you the ugliest person who ever lived and a freak.


A lot of this sounds like depression talking. Can you try to talk to yourself as a good friend? For example, if a friend told you she was insecure about her appearance, would you respond by telling her she is a "fat hideous freak". I doubt you would. I do know that this kind of thinking does not cure clinical depression, but i think being gentler with yourself will help a bit.

Thank you . maybe it is my depression talking to a certain degree. Also it was made worse when my mum called me a fat C word a few days ago. I wish i wasn't so hard on myself but i don't know how to stop but i really liked reading your post , it made me smile