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Old 12-30-2018, 06:20 PM #11
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

Quote:
Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211 View Post
Hello CryingontheInside. Your mother's comment was horrible and verbally abusive. That is a reflection of her character not of your body. Are you able to have distance from her?



Here's some thought-flipping for you:



My body is just as valuable now as it was 5 years ago. My body has been with me day and night keeping me alive through all my struggles and I am grateful for that. It is not my body's fault that I gained weight from medication...my body was responding in the way it knew how to do and that is okay. Slowing losing some weight could be good for my health. But my self-esteem is separate...my self-worth is intrinsic and unrelated to the # on the scales therefore I love myself every day regardless of my size/weight.
What you wrote is amazing . I wish I could install that into my mind and really believe that of myself
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Old 12-30-2018, 06:21 PM #12
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

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Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211 View Post
Are you currently medically overweight Emily, or would you rather not talk about that? No judgment here
Yes. Just over the obese line. This seems to be my set point. Where my body has always naturally returned to.

There is nothing I haven't tried.
- Weight watchers
- Calorie counting
- Nutri Sytem
- HMR (liquid diet)

Drugs
- Phentermine
- Belviq

Exercise
- classes
- running
- gym

I can absolutely lose weight but, two things happen
(1) my metabolism reduces substantially
(2) I get to a point 30 lbs before goal where I cannot lose one more lb.

I have even spent over a year just eating very little JUST to maintain or try to lose and eventually you won't be able to strictly control the food you eat or your environment and you gain quickly. We are talking 10 lbs in two weeks.

I have become convinced that it is my bodies ability to reduce its metabolism in response to a perception of less food actually is the problem and I will never lose weight until I find a way around it.

For the new year I am going to try a "reverse diet" which will have me reduce for 14 days (lose a lb) and then eat maintenance calories for two weeks. Hopefully this will lead to lasting weight loss and tricking my body.

I am also trying Medical Marijuana which apparently has been shown to cause increases in metabolism (and my sister lost 40 lbs on it without trying).
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Old 12-30-2018, 06:46 PM #13
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

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What you wrote is amazing . I wish I could install that into my mind and really believe that of myself

You read what I wrote, you called it amazing, and you are hoping that you will have better thoughts about yourself in the future...so you are ALREADY on the right track! Well done you! I've been working on negative thought-flipping for years. It's a skill that takes practice...and it can be done. You started today...keep going...you'll have your ups and downs...we all do and that's part of it....then one day you could look back and think: WOW! it's getting easier to flip those negatives than when I started. May it happen for you!

Research-based strategy: you don't have to believe it...say good things to yourself anyway every single day and you will start to believe them! Your brain is a wonderful organ...it will listen to you in time
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Old 12-30-2018, 06:59 PM #14
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

[QUOTE=Emily Fox Seaton;6384604]Yes. Just over the obese line. This seems to be my set point. Where my body has always naturally returned to.

I can absolutely lose weight but, two things happen
(1) my metabolism reduces substantially
(2) I get to a point 30 lbs before goal where I cannot lose one more lb.

Your body has been through so much Emily! Well done for persevering and surviving! One thing you said reminds me of a friend whose weight falls into the medically obese category. She lost vast amounts (I don't like to put #s here because I don't want to upset or trigger anyone) of weight twice and each time she gained it back and more.

Similar to your point, she'd get to a point where she lost a lot but was still X number of pounds away from her goal. I'll tell you what I told her: "what about instead of torturing yourself to get to that goal, you make the new goal to just maintain the weight you already lost...see where that gets you...live like that a while and see how you feel?" That was the first time I saw her smile about this issue (MDs had been shaming her at appointments for years...how will shame help a person to lose weight I always ask?) and she said she was going to give that a try instead. "I think I can do that! I think I could lose and maintain a while!"

*Disclaimer: I'm not a MD. I have not studied weight loss. But I do know that some folks get caught in a really painful and stressful cycle of lose-gain-lose-gain etc etc. And cortisol (the stress hormone) actually causes weight gain when we have too much of it.

How about you Emily? Could your new goal be to maintain the weight loss that you know you can achieve and forget the extra 30 for a while? Need not be a forever goal but you could try it a while...let your body relax...love yourself...and see how you feel in time?

Just an idea from a place of care and regard
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Old 12-30-2018, 07:10 PM #15
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

I never liked NYE evening because of noise from the outside. I wonder what it's all for. And then that dreaded midnight when firecrackers, small fireworks in the neighborhood that's illegal and noises go off. So hard to get back to sleep.

I hope that '19 will be a good year. It was a pretty good year this year. Sometimes I get scared when a good year is coming to an end because the following year may not be so good. Let's not forget that there are 365 days in a year, so there's bound to be some good days and not so good days.

The biggest highlights for the year were:

Bad - in early May I had an unexpected water leak at my place that was inconvenient, stressful, and costly. It effected my downstairs neighbors terribly. Ironically, some good things came out of it as my bathroom got a slight remodel and my two downstairs neighbors and I got back to being friendly with each other after not speaking for a year.

Good - In early October I took a trip to Washington State. Never been there before. Everything went well and had a great time. Except that I let my early morning anxieties ruin it a bit. I had posted about my vacation on here back in early October. Also good was that I had my mortgage all paid off early in the year.

For 2019 I hope to sell my place and move into a better place.
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Old 12-30-2018, 07:26 PM #16
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

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Let's not forget that there are 365 days in a year, so there's bound to be some good days and not so good days.


Bad - in early May I had an unexpected water leak at my place that was inconvenient, stressful, and costly. It effected my downstairs neighbors terribly. Ironically, some good things came out of it as my bathroom got a slight remodel and my two downstairs neighbors and I got back to being friendly with each other after not speaking for a year.

So Will, you dealt with a crisis, you have empathy for your neighbors, and you improved your emotional intelligence by working through a major conflict with neighbors - EXCELLENT!

Good - In early October I took a trip to Washington State. Never been there before. Everything went well and had a great time. Except that I let my early morning anxieties ruin it a bit. I had posted about my vacation on here back in early October. Also good was that I had my mortgage all paid off early in the year.

Did your anxieties ruin your trip a bit or did you make it through your trip in spite of your anxiety and deserve a giant pat on the back for being strong and resilient??

For 2019 I hope to sell my place and move into a better place.
You are starting 2019 from a hopeful place...that increases the odds that you will respond to whatever comes your way in 2019 in a hopeful and effective way!

Will, I am impressed! Sincerely.
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Old 12-30-2018, 08:11 PM #17
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

Usually, I am hopeful for a new year. This year, not so much, maybe because I got tired of saying "This year will be MY year, the year I get something done!" I've said that the past few years and the fact that nothing got done, whether it was because of me or something out of my control, it's got me down this year.

On the positive side, I do have a plan this year. I have goals that I could reach with the support of friends and family. That's about it, I don't have much hope, though. I may have a little bit, just not as much as I usually do.
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Old 12-30-2018, 08:13 PM #18
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

Quote:
Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211 View Post
Hello CryingontheInside. Your mother's comment was horrible and verbally abusive. That is a reflection of her character not of your body. Are you able to have distance from her?

Here's some thought-flipping for you:

My body is just as valuable now as it was 5 years ago. My body has been with me day and night keeping me alive through all my struggles and I am grateful for that. It is not my body's fault that I gained weight from medication...my body was responding in the way it knew how to do and that is okay. Slowing losing some weight could be good for my health. But my self-esteem is separate...my self-worth is intrinsic and unrelated to the # on the scales therefore I love myself every day regardless of my size/weight.
Thanks for this.
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Old 12-30-2018, 08:23 PM #19
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

Id like more stability and less depression and anxiety in 2019. I dont want a repeat of 2018. Not sure how to flip that.
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Old 12-30-2018, 09:02 PM #20
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Default Re: Help with negative thoughts about NYE and the year to come...

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Id like more stability and less depression and anxiety in 2019. I dont want a repeat of 2018. Not sure how to flip that.

How about....

I had plenty of ups and downs in 2018 so seeking more stability is a top goal for me in 2019. I cannot control what comes my way in 2019, nobody can, but my power is in how I respond to what comes. I will respond to 2019 in ways which optimize my personal stability. I will be patient, gentle, and loving with myself. When I feel anxious or unstable I will go to my personal checklist of things which bring me peace and comfort. My anxious or depressed times are a nudge from the Universe to seek out more peace and quiet in order to get back to inner harmony. My downs remind me of how glorious and precious my ups are! Without downs, there can be no ups. With joy, so too comes sorrow. These are natural contrasts of the human condition. I am intrinsically valuable and powerful no matter what...throughout all of my ups and downs. 2019 will be more balanced for me than 2018 because every year I grow stronger and wiser and I have decided it will be so."
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