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OliverB
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 05:31 PM
  #201
Feeling like giving up

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CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
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I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 07:03 PM
  #202
Woke up feeling yucky. Did little odds & ends things this morning. Went for a two-hour bike ride. A sunny, cool, and crisp kind of day which was very ideal for me. Nothing much else to report about.
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 08:09 PM
  #203
Feeling isolated, thanks to having isolated myself. Couldn't stand to be around people.
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 10:09 PM
  #204
Ok weekend and made myself get out yesterday to be somewhat social at a meetup, then went grocery shopping and walked my dog. Today just did laundry, walked my dog, watched a funny show and favorite cooking show and ate leftovers for early dinner.
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OliverB
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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 01:56 AM
  #205
Woke up. Took a coffee while in bed. Took my methylphenidate.

I am active, not thinking too much about depression.

Had breakfast with my friend and her boyfriend.

My dog is falling asleep, but I want her to be awake until I left to college, so she will sleep while I am not at home.

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Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 08:30 PM
  #206
This weather sucks. I’m trying to make the best of it though. The 10 day forecast doesn’t look very promising though. My mom reminded me of the phrase “March comes in like a lion and comes out like a lamb.” I kind of wish it was the other way around so I’d at least have a couple weeks of relief.

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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 09:14 PM
  #207
Sat. was a good day. I got stuff done. That is the best antidepressant for me - being able to feel satisfied that I spent my day well. Then I spent Sun. "resting on my laurels" of satisfaction from the day before and didn't do much. Today, while the attendant was here, I scarcely got out of bed. Whenever I have a good, productive day, I tend to follow it with a lazy day. Can't seem to sustain the momentum.
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Default Feb 25, 2019 at 11:41 PM
  #208
Felt pretty yucky today at work. Nothing bad happened. It's just that I was feeling bad. I don't know what's wrong. Spent some time reading about how bleak things are out there and I'm feeling like I don't have much to look forward to.
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OliverB
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 05:05 AM
  #209
I think my body is self destructing. Meh.

I woke up feeling down. Took methylphenidate and feel better.

Possible trigger:

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"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 02:00 PM
  #210
I'm tired. Not really depressed. But weary of the way my life is.
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Default Feb 26, 2019 at 11:40 PM
  #211
Feeling better today. Was pretty busy at work. There are times when I get the feeling that the good feeling I'm having now will end soon. I always feel that way.
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 06:00 AM
  #212
I had to cancel my dentist appointment Tuesday morning to take my bf to a cardiology evaluation. Later this morning, Wed., I will get to my dentist. Then I have to take my bf back to hospital for another heart test and an Xray. I'm drinking Alka-Seltzer now at 4 a.m. because I'm queazy from the slightly too big glass of wine I had with dinner. That seems to be the one bright spot in my daily routine - dinner and a glass of wine. I feel like a hamster in one of those wheels. My bf goes from one health crisis to the next. It's unrelenting. I feel consumed.

I'm not really depressed, which is good. I just feel spent.
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 08:40 AM
  #213
Depressed....
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Default Feb 27, 2019 at 09:54 AM
  #214
Possible trigger:

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Meds: bye bye meds
CPTSD and some sort of depression and weird perceptions

"Outwardly: dumbly, I shamble about, a thing that could never have been known as human, a
thing whose shape is so alien a travesty that humanity becomes more obscene for the vague resemblance."
I have no mouth and I must scream -Harlan Ellison-
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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 01:48 PM
  #215
Doing okay today. Missing a friend who had their account deleted due to the negativity (doctor bashing, bullying etc.) on the forum. They were such a positive ray of sunshine and so supportive. I miss them greatly.

Warm wishes to all.
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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 03:28 PM
  #216
Tired....
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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 03:45 PM
  #217
Muzzled sad and horrible

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Default Feb 28, 2019 at 11:47 PM
  #218
I was feeling pretty good on Tuesday & Wednesday. Today, not so much. I knew that would happen, that the good feeling would end. Was not to busy at work today. It had been very busy in the last couple of days. But it was fairly good emotionally at work. Except that I got an email saying that there's going to be a meeting by phone by my managers with me and the maintenance man. I'm not looking forward to it. I hate those meetings. It ruined my day when I got that message. Also my friend is sick with a cold now, so we can't talk. We only talked briefly last night. Funny thing is that he preaches to me to get a flu shot and I never got one. He gets a shot all of the time and now he's sick!
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Default Mar 01, 2019 at 12:59 PM
  #219
I just came down with the flu for the second time this season. I am at work in my cubicle hoping to God that I make it through the day. I suppose, on the positive side, I am too focused on that that I am distracted from my depression. I also have a TMS treatment this afternoon, and I hope that the achiness from the flu doesn't make the magnetic pulses even more uncomfortable than they already are.
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Default Mar 01, 2019 at 03:10 PM
  #220
I’m saddened by the cruelty in the world.
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