[will19]

Going to be busy today but nothing social lined up, as usual. I have started the laundry already. I got talking to a fellow neighbor in the laundry room. Yep, he had the same idea as I did, start the laundry as soon as that room is open. I told him that I'm leaving the complex. He seemed happy for me, so that was nice to hear. It seems like lately people are telling me that I'm doing the right thing. That's nice for a change since in the recent past people are telling me that I'm making a big mistake. Oh, and by the way, early this morning I got woken up by my downstairs neighbors yelling at each other around 5:45 AM. Do you think I'm going to miss them?

[Rose76]

I've started a process to shift the responsibility for caregiving of my bf, so that it is not so totally and heavily on me. He's in a hospital now and will be going to a nursing home temporarily. I have the option of making that a permanent placement, but I don't have to decide that for a couple of weeks.

Recently, my ability to handle what I've been doing seemed to be falling apart. But I wanted to make no major changes. It sort of came to a crisis, as he has been much sicker for the last two months. I've been getting too upset with him. I've been neglecting things, like not even opening my mail because I couldn't find the time. Lack of time was not the real problem. I was becoming disorganized and not budgeting how I use my time and energy in a practical/mindful way. I knew that and thought I just have to try harder and thought I could try harder. That kind of thinking was getting me nowhere. I felt so unhappy that I didn't really care if I was getting things done on schedule. I was neglecting this, that and the other. I was becoming irresponsible.

When you set up your life so you're not getting much satisfaction out of living, a part of you may just up and rebel. Then you can't "make" yourself do what you've committed to doing because you're in a civil war with yourself. Dogged determination may seem to carry you through to an extent, but willpower starts becoming a scarcer resource. I was barely dragging myself through the day. I've wondered why I just didn't really want to do anything.

I was getting in despair that I couldn't be the person I wanted to be. I decided to give up trying to mentally whip myself into conformity with the plan I believed I was supposed to be following and change the plan.

Change doesn't come easy to me. I don't like change. So I tend to overlook how I can do things differently. There is no guarantee that a new plan is going to be an improvement, but I think I have to try some changes and have hope that there's got to be a better way.

[will19]

It's early Sunday Morning now. I'm feeling pretty alright emotionally now and I don't know why. Normally I feel bad on Sundays. Well, my downstairs neighbors were at it again. Making a lot of noise early in the morning. Lately, they have been doing a lot of talking to each other and going out. Something must be up with them. I'm hearing them talking now but I can't make out what they are talking about. Except that I occasionally hear words like "legal" and "real estate". Hmm!

I'm not planning on going to any church today. Last Sunday I went to a church that I hadn't been to in a while. I wasn't crazy about it. Plus it would be anti-climatic since I'm moving out of the area pretty soon. I plan on doing a little shopping; stuff that I forgot to get yesterday.

[Deilla]

I'm not feeling all that well physically this afternoon. And I've been a little stressed today. I'm just trying to get as much rest as I can.

[Deilla]

Feeling sad and lonely. I'm ready for bed. Hopefully when I wake up I feel better.

[will19]

Was slow at work today. Right after work, I met with the Home Inspector. He said that everything was fine. So it looks like the ball will be rolling on the process of selling my place. Went bike riding after work. After dinner I went to the pool area to swim a little and in the hot tub. Much to my surprise, no one was there. It's a very warm night tonight. I thought that there would be all kinds of people there.

[hope2010]

I wasn't able to get out of the house again, to depressed to function. I am feeling better now that it is 11 pm. Hopefully tomorrow we are going out with my husband. Tomorrow is a new day!

[Deilla]

Feeling calm this morning. Have things to do. Just going to take it one step at a time.

[Sunflower123]

I grind my teeth so hard at night that I cracked a tooth straight through. We tried to save it (at considerable expense) but it just can’t be done. It’s the last tooth on my lower jaw so it won’t be visible but I’ll know. I’m apprehensive about this procedure tomorrow. My next purchase will be a custom made night guard to prevent this from happening again.

I wish I didn’t get so anxious about medical and dental procedures. I’m doing pretty good aside from the nervousness.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[Deilla]

Feeling exhausted. Having a hard time relaxing. Will try to unwind with some hot chocolate. Then off to bed.

[will19]

Was slow at work today. In the afternoon I had skin surgery. So I will have to take care of it for the next ten days and no going to the pool area for that time.

My friend sent me a message saying that he hopes that my medical report is better than his. I wonder what is he talking about? I'll find out later.

[OCD1972]

I'm new to this site. I take 4 psych meds which help my OCD a lot but I still deal with quite a bit of depression and loneliness. I have 2 feline roommates which helps, but I used to belong to an online site like this which disappeared and was getting very little traffic at the end so I found this site which seems like a lot of people post on. I hope to get to know some of you online and have an additional avenue of support.

[Fuzzybear]

Depressed.. and I feel sick

[Deilla]

I feel good today. I got a hair cut, which was really nice. I might go out to eat with a friend later this week. I'm being pretty active so far.

[will19]

Today is the first full day of taking care of that skin surgery procedure. I feel depressed with that because there are a couple of restriction. I can't sleep on the side of the surgery and that will take some getting used to. And I can't go to the pool area. By next week all of that should be over.

[Rose76]

I'm doing a lot better.

My Sig. Other is in a rehab facility, and improving. I am much less stressed now.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m sending hugs and support to all

[Deilla]

Feeling pretty good this morning. Maybe a little tired. Could use some more sleep. Going to eat out with my friend today. I'm looking forward to it.

[Rose76]

Tired. Going to bed.

[will19]

Today was a slow day at work. However, this morning there was a lot going on for me domestically. I had to fill out a disclosure questionnaire for the Real Estate company and that was draining. And then I had to set up a time with the Escrow company to come in and pick up my paperwork from them. The Escrow company was going to deliver it at my home but I didn't want them to do that because it would be left outside in the open.

Took a bike ride after work. I love this period of the week; it's my favorite. From when I get out of work on Friday until around 2PM on Saturday is my favorite time.