[3rd rock]

Pretty sad these past few days.

[will19]

Was very busy today. Did the laundry early in the early morning and it went well for the first time in a while. When I went shopping I took a neighbor with me. He didn't have a car. He seems alright but I don't feel like I want to hang with him much. He doesn't seem to be the type that I enjoy. Nothing much else to report about.

[3rd rock]

I really hope sales pick up towards the end of this month, otherwise this is going to be the worst month I've had since March.

[Deilla]

Feeling depressed this morning. Too many irritating problems. Things beyond my control like computers messing up, monitors failing, accounts getting screwed up, etc. I'm trying to look at the positives but I'm not having much luck. I just want to sleep all day.

[3rd rock]

I can't wait until I finish this novel, then I can get onto writing something that may actually sell.

Another day of not fitting in. Don't feel like being responsible or doing too much of anything. I am bloated and tired and sad and a little big angry. I feel like I am spending too much time in highlight. I need to find a low light and rest.

[Deilla]

Dealing with family problems tonight. And I'm stressed already about this week. I have to go to the pharmacy to pick up meds. I haven't left the house in a month. Feels like my world is falling apart. I just don't want to leave my house. I don't know. Maybe when I start the trip I might feel better. I guess right now I need to try be present.

[TunedOut]

Going to see my sweet lovely sister in 36 hours for a few days. Mourning our lost youth, mourning my children's youth, I understand why she has always cried when I leave. Years between visits usually. She's the best.

[will19]

An OK day today. Nothing much socially. Got a haircut this morning. Went for a 2 and half hour bike ride today. That's about it.

[rhinoinpain]

It's been a crazy day. Full of highs, brought on by meditation, relaxation, affirmations, binaural beats and more. And then some crazy low lows, brought on by my bad side, refusing to respond or change with all this extra positivity I'm feeding myself and my brain lately. The lil people inside wanna remain badass, angry, crushed by sorrow, depressed, violent, etc, while I'm trying to be an optimistic person now, full of God's light and blessings being showered onto me by the Universe. It's hard to get all of us on board with the changes. But it's IN with the new, OUT with old, tired, useless patterns, so I'm sorry bad people inside me, you had your chance at the wheel and now it's the turn of positive thoughts, patterns, skills and more!

[rhinoinpain]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I can't wait until I finish this novel, then I can get onto writing something that may actually sell.

How cool! You're a writer? And a professional one at that? So awesome.

I love writing myself, and I write short stories mostly but nothing so great that would actually sell if I tried to peddle it to any magazines or whatever.

Keep up the good work with your novel man, you will get it done soon enough and then you can write other things.

Stay strong!

[will19]

Fairly busy today. I did not sleep well last night because I was blowing my nose almost the whole night. And I felt like my lower back was aching, down to the knee. At work this morning my back was aching, but then I had lunch and it went away. But it came back again in an hour. Went for a bike ride instead of working out. I may try to workout tomorrow if my back is up to it.

I called the place that messed up my modem to send back. The manager, whom I needed to talk to, was out today because of an emergency. Hmmm!

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by rhinoinpain

How cool! You're a writer? And a professional one at that? So awesome.

I love writing myself, and I write short stories mostly but nothing so great that would actually sell if I tried to peddle it to any magazines or whatever.

Keep up the good work with your novel man, you will get it done soon enough and then you can write other things.

Stay strong!

Thank you for your encouragement. I made a sale today, so there's always hope. I'm just tired of poverty. This is the only thing I'm any good at, so I hope to use it.

[will19]

An alright kind of day. Made a small dent in the problem I had sending back that modem. I worked out today for the first time in eight days. It went very well. No back pain or soreness this time! I feel so much better about myself now.

Other than being very tired and not sleeping much lately, I'm doing okay. Even though I should have slept well, I didn't. I'm feeling some stress about my family. Finances. One day at a time I guess. There's a wedding I promised to go to, it's so far away I'm not looking forward to it. I'll have to just take it a step at a time.

[3rd rock]

I rewrote 5,000 words today. I hope I can finish the current rewrite before the end of the month. Then the final rewrite in September. Then I'll have a ~230,000 word doorstop that no one will read but me.

I'm at a motel. I still can't sleep. I'm so fed up with life. Losing this much sleep and being in this relationship is too much. It's all about him it seems. I'm the bad one. Everything is my fault. I feel so so tired of pleasing him and I'm getting hurt by everything.

He said we would do something for us. Never happened. It's almost all about him seeing his family. His wants and needs.

I mean nothing to him. He's ready to toss me out. Maybe I should get rid of myself soon.

[will19]

It was a terribly slow day yesterday and the day dragged. Today was much better. More transactions and other things to do to keep me busy. I worked out and it went well.

Originally Posted by will19

I was pretty busy today making reservations for my trip next month. I was able to book the airline, car rental, and lodging. Really looking forward to it. But there are times when I feel a little bit of remorse and even wondering if I'm going to make it until then.

Feeling pretty depressed and down physically. My back is still stiff but getting better. I didn't work out, but I went for a bike ride. Also I felt tired, sore at the back and gassy (it's embarrassing for me to say that).

Where are you going to?

[will19]

Originally Posted by Desiree2006

Where are you going to?

Next month I'll be spending a week in Minnesota. I have never been there. I've reserved a cabin on the lake front. It's a state with 10,000 lakes.