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Legendary
Rose76
Treading water.
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,404
(SuperPoster!)
5,302 hugs
given |
#81
I'm in decent spirits. I have to organize a bunch of paperwork for some interviews coming up, so my bf retains various benefits. Since childhood, dealing with paperwork has been my greatest challenge in life. I hoard useless paperwork and, then, can't find the important stuff. I do realize that people have worse problems.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Mad Walker
mote.of.soul
Act not the goat
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,034
(SuperPoster!)
21.9k hugs
given |
#82
Going okay. Plodding along a day at a time. Had a very uplifting visit from two old friends I hadn't seen in many years [one of them tracked me down December last year] and it really is amazing how re-energizing and uplifting a visit from someone who genuinely cares, can be. So, we're rekindling our old friendship and I'll begin to branch out a bit more to re-establish some other friendships from my youth, thanks to this particular friend who I've know since we were 8 :-) 2019 is going well so far.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
will19
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
1,097 hugs
given |
#83
A little bit of a busy day today. Cleaning and shopping. Nothing much since the early afternoon. Having some heavy rain now and it's going to last a while. No bike riding, in which I have not done in quite a while. I took a nap earlier and couldn't sleep because of the heavy winds and windows rattling. Now after the nap, the winds have calmed down. I don't feel like a nap now!
I got an email from someone whom I contacted about looking at a place. I was surprised because, as I mentioned earlier, I went on a search with a web site that was going nowhere. I contacted the person back by email saying that I was interested in looking. I haven't heard anything back. It's going to be a dull weekend as I'm just cooped up inside because of the heavy rains and it's supposed to last all weekend. |
Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Member
Monticello
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: Colorado
Posts: 125
27 hugs
given |
#84
I feel terrible. I have been fighting my depression narrative all week and today it has been hard. You know - I'm stupid, ugly, say the wrong things, etc. I have been unable to do a lot of my go to strategies to help with this because I am still stuck on the couch after surgery. I did go to the dog park for about 15 minutes this afternoon.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Guest
Anonymous32451
has no updates.
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#85
all the snow's melted today.
I must say, I am a little disappointed, because I was hoping it would last a little longer (I love the snow) it feels like a summer day today with all the sun and the briteness. I don't like it. not really anything that needs doing today so guess I'm just going to chill still feel about as blah as yesterday |
Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Member
LifelongLoner
It's the same old, same old. And, I do mean old!
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 125
93 hugs
given |
#86
I can't seem to motivate myself. All I do is procrastinate. I don't want to do anything. I don't like being me. I don't like being gay. It's not for me.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
will19
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
1,097 hugs
given |
#87
I got up this morning at 7. It had been pretty nice and sunny with a few clouds until about 9. Then the clouds started to roll in. I went to an area to look at trailer homes to see if I want to live there. I didn't see anyone outside that I could talk to. Plus, I felt like I had to urinate badly and there was no place to "relieve" myself. It's not a real nice day to be outdoors.
I just got back home and got a message about looking a place. That was from yesterday. I was told that I can look at that place at 4:30 some day this week. I wish I could do it today instead. It's supposed to rain this afternoon. The road at where I would go bike riding is a real mess with pieces of trees on the road. |
Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
is napping.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
(SuperPoster!)
49.2k hugs
given |
#88
Sad, lonely, in pain and tired.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
will19
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
1,097 hugs
given |
#89
I ended up going for a little more than a two-hour bike ride today. The weather cleared up and it turned out to be a nice day. I feel so much better now that I did it.
At the area near home on my bike, I was thinking about how nice it would be to be out of my place, live in a private house with no one close by (like not cramped), retired from my job, and able to afford all of that. Maybe someday soon! |
Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Magnate
mountainstream
has no updates.
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,150
747 hugs
given |
#90
Anxious and depressed.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Legendary
downandlonely
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760
(SuperPoster!)
10.6k hugs
given |
#91
Depression is ok, but these allergies are kicking my butt. Don't know how to get rid of all this mucous. I bought Mucinex. Hope it will help.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Moderator
Community Support Team
88Butterfly88
is fluttering by
Member Since: Dec 2015
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 54,178
(SuperPoster!)
10.5k hugs
given |
#92
Sad, sad, sad. None of the groups I looked into will take me. Guess I'm unwanted.
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Deilla, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
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Legendary
Rose76
Treading water.
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,404
(SuperPoster!)
5,302 hugs
given |
#94
My mood is fine, but I better stop being apathetic and lazy. I'm letting the apartment get disorderly. I keep putting off paperwork I need to tend to.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Member
Monticello
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: Colorado
Posts: 125
27 hugs
given |
#95
I was angry earlier this morning. Now I am depressed which always happens after I get angry because I can never express it. I just stuff it and turn it towards myself.
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Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Deilla
is napping.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,398
(SuperPoster!)
49.2k hugs
given |
#96
Blah, worn down, bored and sad.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
Sunflower123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Mountaindewed
NoahsArk30
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 35,842
(SuperPoster!)
8,655 hugs
given |
#97
I thought I wasn’t depressed. But then I realized today I haven’t been happy in days. I am not really looking forward to anything. So maybe I am pretty depressed.
__________________ Ridin' with Biden |
Deilla, Sunflower123
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Legendary
Rose76
Treading water.
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,404
(SuperPoster!)
5,302 hugs
given |
#98
I'm not doing so good. Not really depressed, but no motivation to tackle things I have to get done. I've got a toothache. And I'm tired, short of sleep. Those 2 things alone are enough to put me off my game.
I can't seem to even sit down and go through mail. Stuff like that has to be kept up with. This is some kind of depression. My bf is doing pretty good today. That can - and does - turn on a dime. We barely get through one health crisis, when another one starts. There's hardly any in between "normal" time. He rides these things out all right. I get stressed. Off the top of my head I couldn't even say how many times he's been admitted to a hospital in the last 2 years. I've lost count. 7, 8, 9 - I don't know anymore. Not trying to sound like a martyr. I just have to get a grip. |
Deilla, LifelongLoner, Sunflower123
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Grand Magnate
will19
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2012
Posts: 3,612
1,097 hugs
given |
#99
A so-so day today. The evening is not so good as it's raining and no going to the pool area. And even worse is that there's no hot water in my place. It's been that way for two days now. There's some kind of malfunction with the water heater at my complex. It seemed like this happened before not so long ago. And yet I can hear someone in another unit taking a shower. How can they take a cold shower on a cold, damp night?
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Deilla
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Member
LifelongLoner
It's the same old, same old. And, I do mean old!
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 125
93 hugs
given |
#100
I have insomnia. Again. Having nightmares and can't sleep - a symptom of my C-PTSD. Part of it is that I am being treated badly on the job. Part of it is that I am hungry. I'm overweight and am trying to eat less but can't sleep if I'm hungry. Finally, I broke down and ate something. I need more sleep but am not sleepy. This is not good.
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Deilla
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