I feel so ashamed of myself these past few days. It's all too much for me. I'll say it: I am lonely. But I also am off balance and don't know how to be appropriate. I feel like everything I do is off balance, strange, disconnected from people. I feel like I was raised on another planet. And I feel like a robot because I think people think I'm boring, but they don't know me.

could be loads better

but managing I guess

[will19]

Today was the usual for me. One nice thing that happened this afternoon was that a woman neighbor of mine told me that she wanted to call me and apologize for not spending more time to talk to me the other day when I told her that I was leaving the complex. I have known her for 18 years. I knew her since she moved in at that time and I had been at my complex for 19 years. I was interested in her but she didn't feel the same about me. We had a nice little talk anyways.

Nothing much for the rest of the day. I got a movie for tonight. I could have gone out tonight to a show but I declined it. I would have had to pick up my friend and take him to the show. He lives further away in the direction of where the show would be. I don't feel like doing a lot of driving tonight. Besides, I think that I would not have liked that show anyways. It wasn't something I would have wanted to see.

[will19]

It's been a busy weekend. Last night I watched a movie that was not good. On top of that, there was a lot of noise around me.

Today I've been busy with doing the laundry and making a batch of spaghetti sauce that should last me a whole month. After lunch I answered questions on the paperwork package I received from the Escrow company. I had to be careful at answering some questions and some went unanswered because I have to make a couple of phone calls tomorrow to get the answers. It was very draining.

This morning I received a message from a woman in Eastern Canada. She saw a comment that I had posted on another site from here. At first I didn't like what she said. She said that I am living in the wrong part of the world.

[Deilla]

Feeling sad. I'm disappointed. My expectations were set too high. They're always set too high. I'm always disappointed. I should expect very little from people. I'm not coming out of my shell. Every time I try, I get bit.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Deilla

Feeling sad. I'm disappointed. My expectations were set too high. They're always set too high. I'm always disappointed. I should expect very little from people. I'm not coming out of my shell. Every time I try, I get bit.

I’m sorry that is happening to you.

[Sunflower123]

Today is a much better day. Yesterday was tough and I tend to resist fiercely which compounds the suffering. I got a good night’s sleep and feel better now. Sitting in the sun with my dog enjoying the day.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

feeling ******.

[Rose76]

I'm doing pretty good. I feel hopeful.

Originally Posted by raging vortex

could be loads better

but managing I guess

Me too.
Hugs to you.

[Fuzzybear]

Hugs Desiree

[will19]

Another very slow day at work today. Also it seems like the attitudes are not very positive. It's almost like becoming an unhappy place to work. But I don't want to quit it. Maybe it will get better.

Originally Posted by will19

Another very slow day at work today. Also it seems like the attitudes are not very positive. It's almost like becoming an unhappy place to work. But I don't want to quit it. Maybe it will get better.

I m sure it will. Hugs.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Hugs Desiree

Hugs fuzzy.

[will19]

A pretty eventful day today, even though it was slow at work. My manager came from out of state. She and I had lunch along with the Maintenance man. The lunch was pretty nice but the time together was kind of awkward. Though I did like the manager a lot. I had never seen her. Just emailed and talked, that's it. After work I went to the Escrow office to go over the paperwork that was handed to me. I did OK in answering questions (which were a lot) and signatures.

Not proud of myself lately.

[will19]

Another slow day at work. It's getting to the point that I can't stand it anymore. I hope it gets better. I would hate to quit now.

Went to the dentist early this morning for cleaning. I was told that it all looks great. I told them about my move and they said that it's a wonderful place where I will be moving to. I sure hope so.

Tomorrow night I will make an attempt to go to the pool area. I have not been going lately because of having skin surgery, in which I was instructed to not go for ten days. Well, that time is up!

Originally Posted by will19

Another slow day at work. It's getting to the point that I can't stand it anymore. I hope it gets better. I would hate to quit now.

Went to the dentist early this morning for cleaning. I was told that it all looks great. I told them about my move and they said that it's a wonderful place where I will be moving to. I sure hope so.

Tomorrow night I will make an attempt to go to the pool area. I have not been going lately because of having skin surgery, in which I was instructed to not go for ten days. Well, that time is up!

What is the place that you are moving to like? Does it have gym and swimming pool? Just curious.
Have a good day.

[will19]

Another slow day at work, but that was to be expected. I did not feel so well emotionally there today. I feel like I have lost the love for the job. Still I would hate to quit. Went to the pool area tonight for the first time in ten days. It was nice.

[will19]

Not much of a weekend socially. But, that's the way it always is anyways. Very busy yesterday with the domestic stuff. Last night I went to the pool area and met up with a woman and her family (I guess). It was too crowded and intimidating at first, but I did brave myself to go in. Good thing I did because that woman has sold her unit. She lived at the complex for 37 years (just shy of twice the time I have!). I had a pretty good time with her and her group; they were all nice. I was glad it was her because I wanted to talk to her anyways.

After that I watched movie called "Please Stand By" starring Dakota Fanning. It was a good movie. Parts of it were painful for me to watch because she had autism and I have had that in my past. There are times when I feel like my autism from the past may come back again.

Nothing much today, so far. Took it easy and did little odds-and-ends stuff. It's Easter, but I never liked going to church at that time because of the crowds. I don't like crowds that much.

Feeling down about going back to work tomorrow. As I've stated before, there are some emotional challenges there lately. Also I feel anxious about the move and the transaction that will happen three weeks from now.