advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Heart Dec 22, 2018 at 02:35 PM
  #1
Hello folks,

I know that many of us feel isolated and very lonely when we are depressed. I though it could be helpful to recall and reflect on times when strangers have shown us empathy and compassion. This also helps to remind us that the world is not full of bad, destructive people. Ten minutes of watching "The News" can quickly give that impression. Are there some awful things happening in the world? No doubt. But there is also a great deal of goodness.

So, I will start the thread by recalling a kindness shown to me by a stranger:

Many years ago, I had a case of shingles. I had never had it before. I lived alone at the time and did not have any close friends. My family lived far away and they are not the type of people I turn to for support. I had recently survived a major trauma in my life. The shingles appeared to be getting worse and I was frightened. I went to the ER because I knew that shingles can be dangerous if not kept under control (can spread to the eye etc).

I was sitting alone in the ER waiting room. The physical pain, nausea, and dizziness were intense and I was anxious about what was happening to my body. But the worst part was my feeling of deep loneliness. I had my head down because I was sobbing...as quietly as possible...I try very hard never to cry in front of others. But those tears kept coming because I was overwhelmed. After only a few minutes in the waiting room, I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw a woman with a kind and concerned face. She handed me a box of tissues and quietly asked: "Is there anything I can do for you, honey?" The tears kept rolling down my cheeks. I took the box of tissues and said: "would you mind sitting next to me for a minute? Could you hold my hand?" She immediately did what I asked without a word. No judgment. No unsolicited advice. No prying for information.

We sat like that until my name was called to see the doctor. It turned out that I was having a bad reaction to my shingles medication and needed a new one. The ER doc resolved that quickly after giving me a few condescending comments and zero empathy. Who do you think really helped me most that day? The stranger who was under no obligation to help me at all. But she brought a box of tissues and compassion.

I didn't give you folks all the details of my life back then (too sad) but I felt like I was alone in hell. And then this wonderful stranger showed me a kindness which I have never forgotten. To this day, years later, I am grateful for her...she gave me hope and comfort when I was frightened and alone. May she always have the help she needs...wherever she is now.

Would anyone else like to share a story from a kind stranger?

Peace and love to all
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40258, Calla lily12, MickeyCheeky, Mopey, MtnTime2896, Sunflower123, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
Calla lily12, MickeyCheeky, Mopey, scarlett35, Sunflower123, unaluna

advertisement
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 03:05 PM
  #2
just yesterday I was out shopping and someone came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and said merry christmas

when I replied, she asked me what I was doing for the holidays, and then directed me to some stuff I needed in the store
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40258, Anonymous57363, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 03:09 PM
  #3
one time (when I was waiting in line for something), the woman in front of me saw I was struggling to remain standing because of the pain in my legs.

her and her 4 kids were standing on the steps, but they moved away off the steps so that I could sit down and rest

I looked at her and thanked her and she smiled back at me
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 03:11 PM
  #4
I remember another time my nose started bleeding in class.

one of the children stopped what she was doing straight away, came over to me, and made sure I was okay- and that I got to the nurse
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 03:33 PM
  #5
Thank you for making this thread, HopefullyLost1211! I hope you're feeling better now. Some strangers have definitely been kind to me in the past - others, not so much. Sending many hugs to everyone
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40258, Anonymous57363, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous40258
Guest
Anonymous40258 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 03:40 PM
  #6
There was a very specific game of chess I remember. Never having had played chess before, I said "ok, let's give this a try", sat down and joined in on the longest game of chess ever. Little did I know, I stood no chance. My chess partner had been letting me win
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, mote.of.soul, Sunflower123, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous45521
Guest
Anonymous45521 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 03:48 PM
  #7
Most of the time strangers don't show me kindness... not real kindness. I think it is due to an independent "persona" that I have.

But
(1) A few years ago I had lost some weight and I don't know if that had anything to do with it but I got on the train at a time that I would have thought would have been drama free (11 AM) But some guy was hassling me. I really was a little desperate as I had a 1 hour trip coming my way and it was just me and this guy in the car. He was turned around 1/2 way in the seat doing what all losers who hassle women do -- acting as if I was "shy" -- when I don't want to talk to him. I was considering leaving but I knew he would just come after me. I heard the conductor come in a few seconds after he actually did, must have heard this guy, came up behind quickly behind me , smacked the guy's feet forward and said, "sit forward and shut up." And that was the end of that. I acted like I didn't even notice but man I was soooo grateful.

(2) My local store has a promotion where if you buy food you get tickets toward like plates or something. One day this lady in front of me had bought like $400 dollars worth of food and when they asked if she was playing he goes, no but this nice lady can have my tickets. That got me a utensil set on the spot. Later I learned it was common practice to pay it forward in this manner but at the time I was BLOWN away.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40258, Anonymous57363, Sunflower123, unaluna
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous40258
Guest
Anonymous40258 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 04:05 PM
  #8
Quote:
(2) My local store has a promotion where if buy food you get tickets toward like plates or something. One day this lady in front of me had bought like $400 dollars worth of food and when they asked if she was playing he goes, no but this nice lady can have my tickets. That got me a utensil set on the spot. Later I learned it was common practice to pay it forward in this manner but at the time I was BLOWN away.
Lol, something like this has happened to me before and I too was blown away by how generous people can be. I sat there blankly for a second, - reminded myself there was little chance I could reject this offer tactfully, gave a big smile and went on my merry way.. First chance I saw, I payed forward the same act of kindness, noting even on a day when skies are grey, a small act of kindness can brighten someone else day
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 05:11 PM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
Thank you for making this thread, HopefullyLost1211! I hope you're feeling better now. Some strangers have definitely been kind to me in the past - others, not so much. Sending many hugs to everyone
Oh yes, I realize that some strangers are not to be trusted. It just helps me to remember the good, safe ones. My life is much better now, thank you.
Still have depression and PTSD but things are much, much better now...I worked hard for a better life and now thank myself for it...and the people who helped me along the way...

Peace
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 05:15 PM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
Most of the time strangers don't show me kindness... not real kindness. I think it is due to an independent "persona" that I have.

But
(1) A few years ago I had lost some weight and I don't know if that had anything to do with it but I got on the train at a time that I would have thought would have been drama free (11 AM) But some guy was hassling me. I really was a little desperate as I had a 1 hour trip coming my way and it was just me and this guy in the car. He was turned around 1/2 way in the seat doing what all losers who hassle women do -- acting as if I was "shy" -- when I don't want to talk to him. I was considering leaving but I knew he would just come after me. I heard the conductor come in a few seconds after he actually did, must have heard this guy, came up behind quickly behind me , smacked the guy's feet forward and said, "sit forward and shut up." And that was the end of that. I acted like I didn't even notice but man I was soooo grateful.

(2) My local store has a promotion where if you buy food you get tickets toward like plates or something. One day this lady in front of me had bought like $400 dollars worth of food and when they asked if she was playing he goes, no but this nice lady can have my tickets. That got me a utensil set on the spot. Later I learned it was common practice to pay it forward in this manner but at the time I was BLOWN away.
Pay it Forward is a beautiful thing. I've done it several times....positive ripple effect.

Last edited by Anonymous57363; Dec 22, 2018 at 05:28 PM..
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123, will19
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 05:25 PM
  #11
Hello folks,

felt I should post a clarification to my thread. I am NOT suggesting that all strangers are good and safe. Nor am I suggesting that people should depend on strangers or seek out help from them. Though I do believe that a person can be independent and still accept a safe kindness from another person. I just wanted to share that there are times when, unexpectedly, a good human can appear in your life and show you a kindness. I think it's really nourishing for our spirits to remember those times. If someone has never experienced that before, who knows what the future will bring?

I realize that lots of people join PC after abuse, disconnects, loneliness, and intense emotional pain. I know that pain is out there and real. I suppose I just find, for me anyway, that focusing on the bad times and less-than-good folks causes me more pain.

if I gave anyone a different impression than what I have clarified, please excuse. I am finding the written forum, without facial affect or tone, to be a bit challenging. I seem to be better at connecting with people in person, face to face. Though I am grateful for the anonymity here because I never share my troubles with the vast majority of people in my life. My S.O. is very kind to me but I never want to put him in "therapist "role or make him feel burdened by my sorrows because that would not be fair to him.

Peace and love to all Thank you for your additions to the thread
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40258, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 05:36 PM
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I remember another time my nose started bleeding in class.

one of the children stopped what she was doing straight away, came over to me, and made sure I was okay- and that I got to the nurse
Beautiful stories to share, Raging Vortex! Hang onto those memories the next time you feel low or less than hopeful about life. I am glad you had those kind moments
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Monticello
Member
 
Monticello's Avatar
Monticello has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: Colorado
Posts: 125
5 yr Member
27 hugs
given
Default Dec 22, 2018 at 06:18 PM
  #13
I have hip arthritis which gets worse i stand around. I also love to go to thrift stores, which involves alot of standing around. The other day as I was leaving the thrift store with a big bag of stuff in one hand and using a cane in the other, a young man veered out of his path and came up to me offering to carry the bag to the car for me! Made my day! (hip replacement coming in January!)
Monticello is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 23, 2018 at 05:11 AM
  #14
once at school they were having a fete thing.

their was this stall, and on the stall their was a cassette tape of something I really wanted-- but I didn't have enough money to buy it.

I didn't actually recognize the person on the stall (it wasn't a teacher or anything from my school, I'm guessing she was from another school)

I explained the problem about wanting the cassette but not having the money to buy it

she remained silent for a moment, then reached across, tapped me on the arm and told me to just pick it up and take it

she said it was one cassette, not the end of the world- she'd still make lots of money that day

I was so thankful I went round to the other side of the stall and hugged her
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous45521, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 23, 2018 at 05:18 AM
  #15
one time, on another website, I really wanted to be a premium user (To get more of the benifits)

well one day I logged in to find that someone on the site (I don't know who), had gifted me $75 worth of membership (3 years)

I posted to attempt to find out who it was, but never did

I never told anyone, so my guess is that someone just thought they would be kind to less priviladged users
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
AzulOscuro
Grand Magnate
 
AzulOscuro's Avatar
AzulOscuro has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
8 yr Member
1,748 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 23, 2018 at 03:21 PM
  #16
I want to tell that woman who took your hand and that bus driver who got Emily rid of that bore guy that they are my heroes.

__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
AzulOscuro is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous45521
Guest
Anonymous45521 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 24, 2018 at 05:36 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
I want to tell that woman who took your hand and that bus driver who got Emily rid of that bore guy that they are my heroes.
Wow you guys must have made this happen. I came home tonight and there was a box of cookies wrapped up in my door jamb. A Christmas gift from my neighbor. Super sweet!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous57363, Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 24, 2018 at 05:38 PM
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
Wow you guys must have made this happen. I came home tonight and there was a box of cookies wrapped up in my door jamb. A Christmas gift from my neighbor. Super sweet!

Wow! Thanks for sharing, Emily. That sounds magical!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous57363
Guest
Anonymous57363 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Dec 24, 2018 at 07:12 PM
  #19
A stranger found the I.D. I had accidentally dropped in the street and mailed it back to me
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Sunflower123
 
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
AzulOscuro
Grand Magnate
 
AzulOscuro's Avatar
AzulOscuro has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
8 yr Member
1,748 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Dec 26, 2018 at 01:04 PM
  #20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
Wow you guys must have made this happen. I came home tonight and there was a box of cookies wrapped up in my door jamb. A Christmas gift from my neighbor. Super sweet!
Not at all. Sure you have much more to do with receiving that present than us. :-)
There are people like that. We get surprise bc is not as the world is working today. In the past, it’s said helping or being there for a stranger or a neighbour was the natural thing, the custom.
We became distract for our own duties and daily activities that not even have time to spend a couple of minutes for someone else.
The good part is that now it seems more genuine when it happens and I love it.

__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
AzulOscuro is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:57 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.