How to get over complete apathy

Hi guys,

I've dealt with depression multiple times in my life. However it always had a direct and pretty clear cause, and it would make me cry a lot, feel desperate and hopeless all the time, hate my life, etc.

I had a few really happy years in my first job. Then I lost it and instantly crashed into depression. Again, crying, desperation, etc. I had a new job that I hated and also had to move into another flat that I also hated. I just hated everything about my day. I got into therapy, which helped, and eventually managed to improve my job situation and moved back into another area. Now that my life doesn't suck anymore, I don't feel super depressed all the time...

but I now feel almost complete apathy. My feelings are all dulled and reach neither hights nor lows. I feel somewhat neutral most of the time. From my good times in life I remember being happy about even small things, that now just do not cause an emotional response anymore. I have very little interest in my life or future. I just go through my day - which I can still manage normally, physically I have normal energy - and feel nothing about most things. I am somewhat irritable though and get annoyed faster than normally.

It is not horrible - I don't cry, or hate my life, or feel hopeless. It's more of just a big nothing. Is this still depression? I honestly do not know what I have to do to care about my life again. For a long time I was hoping and trying to get back into a job that I might enjoy more again, but although I still send out applications I don't really care about that anymore either and I feel like even if I did manage to find one, I would not enjoy it as much as I used to as all my perception and emotions just feel so dulled and flat.

This definitely sounds like depression, just not as severe as it was before. Are you still in therapy? If you don't want to take medications (which could also be helpful) and you have normal energy, then exercise can be very helpful. You would have to do this 5 days a week for about 30 minutes each time, according to studies. If it's hard to get started then tell yourself you are going to do it for 3 weeks and then see what happens. I have been in this state before and am actually in it right now. Good luck and I hope you feel better.

Have you considered trying medication?