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Gasplessy
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Default Mar 14, 2019 at 01:26 PM
  #1
I can't even talk anymore.

I'm sorry for my parents and family, but I'm 31 and screwed everything in my life.
I wasn't able to cure myself when I was younger and now the frustration is really too much.
I've no degree, no job, no money. I screwed every relationship in the last 6 years and I've been mostly seriously isolated.
Somehow I took all the wrong paths
I wish I know better, I should have known.

I'm agnostic but would and will pray for my family, and write letters to tell them how much I love them
I would ask people on social media to please comfort my mother, i'm desperate.

I just have to go, I'm so sorry
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Heart Mar 14, 2019 at 02:32 PM
  #2
Well... I wish there was something I could say that would be helpful here. But honestly I don't know what it would be. I've made 2 major attempts of my own in the past. So I'm familiar with the terrain where you are. Here are links to 2 of DocJohn's articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of suicide plus an additional article that talks about how to survive suicidal thoughts. Perhaps there is something in these articles that can be of help:

Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

Please take care...

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Default Mar 14, 2019 at 04:21 PM
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Default Mar 14, 2019 at 09:49 PM
  #4
Hi Gasplessy, it's okay believe me.

So what if you made mistakes friend, it's all part of the learning curve of life, that's all...

Sometimes I feel like I made all the wrong choices too and also failed to make choices when I should have - it's a torment. But I don't feel like that now. Why must I torture myself forever? Why must I blame myself for not knowing better? I didn't create this life and this human form!!

But yes, we can always learn from mistakes Gasplessy and in some ways I believe that's the whole purpose of life.

Come back and keep posting please. Share what else is in your mind. Hugs to you!
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