Don’t belong anywhere

MDDBPDPTSD · Mar 17, 2019 at 05:13 AM

I raised 4 children to adulthood. Now that I am older, no one wants me. I found out in the last month that 3 of them did not want me nor want to help me. I thought that one of them was trying to help me but I was told tonight that she has plans that don’t include me at all. It’s her life and she has every right to plan it without me. I get that.
Even so, I feel like I have no one. I feel like I don’t belong here. My usefulness has ended and I don’t know 🤷*♀️ what to do. I feel like I am a burden to everyone. I don’t belong anywhere. I can’t take care of myself well and there is no one else to do it either. I feel like society is telling me that I have outlived my usefulness. I am not suicidal. I just don’t understand why I am not valued by the ones that I poured my life into. And now that I know that, what am I supposed to do?
I am so hurt.
I don’t even know how to deal with this.

MDDBPDPTSD · Mar 17, 2019 at 05:33 AM

Posting this has not changed anything about my situation but I feel a tad better just knowing that someone out there will understand. Thank you for that, whoever you are.

Fuzzybear · Mar 17, 2019 at 10:15 AM

Thank you for sharing. This is what this forum in particular is for I think, being able to talk about our hurts without fear of being judged or offered advice like “go and volunteer somewhere”) (which I think most of us have probably either done already or .. well it isn’t “the solution”

) .. These are very deep hurts you’re talking about ... I have deep hurts too which I haven’t been able to talk about some aspects of them (they aren’t easy to explain sometimes .. even to me...). It is hard to put one paw in front of the other when family in particular have .. been so abandoning.

We’re here for you in this forum

Skeezyks · Mar 17, 2019 at 06:55 PM

Well, speaking from the vantage point of being 70 years old, I would have to say that "old & useless" is pretty-much how society at large views us older folks.

As I have sometimes said: in Asian countries it at least used to be that the young bowed to the old. (I don't know if it still is.) In the U.S. today the old get out of the way of the young.

I live in an area where there are a lot of us "senior citizens".

Some older folks find fulfillment in volunteering I guess. It seems like quite a few end up babysitting their grandkids.

Younger family members stop by on holidays to visit their parents & grandparents. Then they disappear until the next holiday roles around. Personally... I just keep to myself.

I do hope though that, in some way, you are able to find the fulfillment you seek.

sarahsweets · Mar 18, 2019 at 02:05 AM

Im so sorry you are going through this. Was there some kind of argument or falling out that happened?

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MDDBPDPTSD Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2010 Location: United States Posts: 509 13 249 hugs given	Mar 17, 2019 at 05:33 AM #2 Posting this has not changed anything about my situation but I feel a tad better just knowing that someone out there will understand. Thank you for that, whoever you are. __________________ Practicing being here now.
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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Mar 18, 2019 at 02:05 AM #5 Im so sorry you are going through this. Was there some kind of argument or falling out that happened? __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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