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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
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#1
“Do not let others define you
Define yourself” Easier said than done sometimes but good advice, I think. Btw I like humble people __________________ |
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little turtle, mikimostar, Rohag, Skeezyks, Thirty shades
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little turtle, mikimostar, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#2
Oops.. my title meant to say “defining self”....
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
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#3
We are tiny fish in a social ocean of people constantly defining us by their standards and telling us - verbally and non-verbally - what we "should" want and be. You are most correct declaring the project of self-definition "easier said than done".
I find some degree of social detachment is necessary for me to ... swim against the current. ((((((( Fuzzybear ))))))) __________________ My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it. |
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Fuzzybear, mikimostar, Thirty shades
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
The social ocean of people.. (crazy) Constantly defining us by THEIR standards... And all THEIR “shoulda” (yawn) I think you’re wise finding a level of social detachment (crazy) Dorothy Rowe writes about “introverts” and “extraverts”... I haven’t read much by her for a long time ... some of her views are interesting I think, and not the “standard (badly done by some if someone doesn’t fit the “box” - imo - uk cbt “stuff” (not that one size “should” fit all some still seem to dish out in this forest I sometimes wish I lived in a different forest. Meanwhile I’ve found more sensible ideas online __________________ |
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Thirty shades
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#5
My wife defines me. Did she not, I'm not even sure who I'd be...
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Fuzzybear, Rohag, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
I think I’ve been able to internalise some of Papa bear’s (and some other true people’s .. True thoughts about me... but not completely.. I still slip into self hate / self flagellation mode sometimes ... or my inner snake does __________________ |
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Rohag, Skeezyks, Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,799
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#7
Quote:
I have trouble defining myself. It has taken many years to try and get to know, who I really am. With the help of the internet, I am learning. I am happy to be me at my very core. The bit I have trouble with, is all the negative recordings stored in my unconscious brain.... |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,799
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#8
Quote:
Rohag other people's standards are a big problem. Hearing and observing the way others define us increases the negative recordings we store instead of releasing any. Then they complain we detach and withdraw.... If only they would listen and hear our truth.... |
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Fuzzybear, Rohag
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
This is partly why my snake wants me to delete I was told I was “too needy” and people would be “angry” with me... All sorts of judgments by people who don’t know me But maybe they are “right” - I don’t think this world wants a bear who is “too needy” ... several have agreed with my Maternal unit I wish They (irl) would treat us with dignity Love to all __________________ |
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#10
negative recordings stored in the unconscious brain
Outer snakes with their slimyness reinforcing negative recordings in the unconscious brain The bear at my core is true. And deserves to be treated kindly and with dignity __________________ |
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Rohag, Thirty shades
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Grand Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: On a wall
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#11
I do define myself but people don't like to hear it because it's always negative. Maybe one day the whole truth will come out and people will finally say "Wow yeah he really is an A whole"
__________________ It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
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Fuzzybear, Thirty shades
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Thirty shades
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
I don’t think of you as an A hole at all. I only know you from what you’ve shared on here, I just don’t think your “inner critic” is accurate in his harshness.. And some people, of course, love to judge others.. Especially others with struggles like depression “People” have said all sorts of things about me that were mean and not even accurate, I still think that if “people” ever use the A hole term about you it would be wrong __________________ |
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Thirty shades
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,799
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#13
Quote:
People are emotionally blind to us and our needs Just like the Maternal units... We deserve some dignity because we are true.... |
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Fuzzybear
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Fuzzybear
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given |
#14
We do deserve dignity
Judgments and shoulds from people who take no time to get to know us.. Grrrrrrrrrrrr Much love __________________ |
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Thirty shades
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Thirty shades
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