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Old 03-22-2019, 07:06 PM   #1
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Unhappy Having a really hard time, today..

Having a hard time dealing with my emotions today.. Normally I would just go clean something (all day), but today I am physically unable to. So my body is having a time..
Yesterday I was diagnosed with Trismus (lockjaw), and all that I have really discovered upon researching is that it can last a short period of time, or you can have it forever.
Suggestions were to do Jaw stretches 20 to 30x daily, use hot compresses, and try not to use it too much.
I have Attention Deficit Disorder, so upon reading about how my Medication also causes Trismus.. I am super bummed out today.

I am starting to find some kind of relief physically, but my body is beyond exhausted from the pain that I have been dealing with due to this issue, for the past 3 months.
A couple of days ago, my SO was on the phone with onf of my Galfriends and she said "I love her to death, but you know I can't ask her for help, because I can't follow her. She gets so distracted, it's hard to keep up."
She didn't know I was standing there when she said it..
Ever since then I've just felt this urge to keep my mouth shut.
At this point in my head, all I hear is, "Why bother? They probably won't even listen, if you're that hard to talk to." and "What if they just think 'I don't even know what this B**** is blabbing on about now!" (?)

It's so defeating.
To know that I can't even manage normal conversations with anyone other than my SO..

I'm just at a loss for what to do at this point. Between lockjaw, pain, mental issues, I feel like I'm the worst thing that's just taking up space, and whining and crying everywhere. I'm so over it, but I don't know how to be, what to do, etc..

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Old 03-22-2019, 08:11 PM   #2
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You aren't the worst thing at all. I'm sorry you feel this bad. Hugs if you want them.
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Old 03-22-2019, 08:38 PM   #3
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