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Old 03-23-2019, 06:48 AM #1
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Default Difficult days

Hey.

I donít really have anyone to talk to at the moment, so Iím writing here. Today is my late friends birthday and as with the anniversary, today is a difficult day to deal with. I really wanted to go to the mountains for a hike as that is something which I used to do with him, but I didnít get the chance. I ended up at a lookout where we used to hang out. I sat there for a while and managed to get a little teary eyed. Iím not very good with feelings and emotions, theyíre often suppressed or my defenses jump up and block me from feeling. So a couple of tears was all I was going to get I guess.

I just miss him. He was the first person who I was able to talk to about my MH and the only one to ever follow up with me about it. He was always there for me and basically the only person in my life who I could completely trust and be myself around. Losing him has been huge. I donít mind days like today. Iím okay with feeling sad about this. Itís just so hard. I miss his voice, his hugs and just his company. His stupid jokes and ridiculous haircuts.

Anyway. I just wanted to type.. Thanks for listening

AP
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Old 03-23-2019, 08:51 AM #2
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Default Re: Difficult days

I still miss my best friend bethany

it's been years now since she took her own life, but like you, she was the one person I could really talk to about things

for a while she even wished that she was my sister, and I even created an FB profile so that we could be family

greef is hard
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Old 03-23-2019, 05:24 PM #3
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I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, 20oney I completely agree with what raging vortex has already wisely said better than I ever could. Grieving is hard. It will take time, but you'll feel better at some point. I promise you that. Keep honoring your friend like your friend. Memories are a precious thing to have. Treasure them, let them guide you if you want to, but remember to live your own life as well! You can do this! Please don't give up. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Keep fighting! Stay strong. Stay safe and take care of yourself. You're a strong, wonderful person. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, 20oney. Please don't give up. You're a strong, wonderful person. You don't deserve to suffer at all. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this
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Old 03-23-2019, 06:54 PM #4
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Your friend is special gift to you. Such a great way to honor him by going to the lookout and grieving for him. So sorry for your loss.
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Old 03-25-2019, 05:56 PM #5
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