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Anonymous40127
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Default Mar 29, 2019 at 10:50 AM
  #1
What has gone according to my will in my life?

I never had friends. I never will get to study what I've found out I am actually passionate for (physics), I'll never get to do research in physics cause the closest thing I can do is get a doctorate in chemistry. Before that I wanted to be a medical doctor, but some teachers who came in my life pointed out how useless, worthless I am. They pointed out how radically different I am, they told me they don't have time for me.

It's a long story, but they weren't my school teachers, they were my coaching institute's teachers. I joined the coaching institute because I felt I'd miss out a great deal of socializing, since that particular year marked the end of high school and after high school there are no coaching classes taught by anybody. I thought I'd meet new people, get guidance from the aforementioned teachers. How terribly wrong I was. They instead pointed out I am useless and it still eats me, almost two years later.

Then, comes the part with my social life. I am viewed as a joke. Why? Because I have a poor health. Most of my professors understand that, but it does not change the fact I am viewed as a joke by my peers. They're like, "if he can pass, we all will" I have no idea why everyone thinks I am inferior, due to the fact I am apparently crazy perhaps.

Talking about the fact I don't have any friends, you can guess how much my romantic relationships exist. It's not that I don't love, it's that they don't love back.

Nobody understands me. Nobody.
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Quarter life
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Default Apr 11, 2019 at 04:55 AM
  #2
Hey Lonely Chemist.

When I first inquired on studying Architecture, my queries where met with all negative advice/answers. ...This is a male dominated field......Women can't think in 3D.....It's very demanding...You won't go the distance...etc etc etc etc. So yes, very disheartening.

I opted to spend a year doing' bridging' study in several disciplines first. Computer Aided Drafting, Advanced Geometry and Surveying. I also read a lot and supplemented with a great deal of self education on numerous subjects.

The next intake year, I applied to 3 universities and was accepted into all 3 of them in the first draft....Yikes!!!!!.

I accepted the offer from my first choice and knew for certain that I had signed up for all manner of challenges & hurt. But I took each day one step at a time, whilst being diligent about time management, budgeting my finances, and keeping on top of all my study commitments. An extremely steep learning curve in the first 2 years...but with hard work it started to level out in my 3rd year. So many challenges & self doubt...but my diligence and refusal to take on negative advice or opinions from others served me well.

Please understand...there were several times when I really didn't believe I could tackle the work load...taking time out to step back and assess my options, finances and capabilities... Often hard decisions had to be made. I deferred 2 core subjects, adding another 18 months to my completing my degrees....sold treasured belongings ....and opted to let the love of my life walk away. All very hard choices...but they were 'MY' choices.

My point is...whilst others can have opinions on your capabilities, they are only opinions...they aren't truth. Only you can determine your own truth...and with tenacity of purpose achieve great things.

Oh yes...I almost forgot to mention.... I finally graduated with High Distinction in the top 2% of the State. Not bad for a person who doesn't 'in theory' have the ability to think in 3D.

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The devil whispered in my ear, "You cannot withstand the storm." I whispered back, "I am ​the storm."
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Default Apr 11, 2019 at 08:55 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Quarter life View Post
Hey Lonely Chemist.

When I first inquired on studying Architecture, my queries where met with all negative advice/answers. ...This is a male dominated field......Women can't think in 3D.....It's very demanding...You won't go the distance...etc etc etc etc. So yes, very disheartening.

I opted to spend a year doing' bridging' study in several disciplines first. Computer Aided Drafting, Advanced Geometry and Surveying. I also read a lot and supplemented with a great deal of self education on numerous subjects.

The next intake year, I applied to 3 universities and was accepted into all 3 of them in the first draft....Yikes!!!!!.

I accepted the offer from my first choice and knew for certain that I had signed up for all manner of challenges & hurt. But I took each day one step at a time, whilst being diligent about time management, budgeting my finances, and keeping on top of all my study commitments. An extremely steep learning curve in the first 2 years...but with hard work it started to level out in my 3rd year. So many challenges & self doubt...but my diligence and refusal to take on negative advice or opinions from others served me well.

Please understand...there were several times when I really didn't believe I could tackle the work load...taking time out to step back and assess my options, finances and capabilities... Often hard decisions had to be made. I deferred 2 core subjects, adding another 18 months to my completing my degrees....sold treasured belongings ....and opted to let the love of my life walk away. All very hard choices...but they were 'MY' choices.

My point is...whilst others can have opinions on your capabilities, they are only opinions...they aren't truth. Only you can determine your own truth...and with tenacity of purpose achieve great things.

Oh yes...I almost forgot to mention.... I finally graduated with High Distinction in the top 2% of the State. Not bad for a person who doesn't 'in theory' have the ability to think in 3D.
Thank you sharing your story with me, QL. It means a lot to me.

I completely agree with what you've said. Only I can make or break myself. The other factors, they are just obstacles which can be left behind or minor boosts.

It's been, I guess, a month since I wrote the thread and I've changed my thinking a lot. I am thinking about writing my thesis on something related to quantum gravity (theory of everything) once I get into a PhD program. Fields should not matter. I am working my hardest to make my 'theory of everything' dream come true -- I study both the basic sciences taught to us in school and I am also doing informal physics learning.

About friends... It's not like I'll get to have them at least any time soon. Because after all some things are not in my hand, at least for now. But what I can do is, enjoy the minor interactions and enjoy my own company.
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