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Fuzzybear
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Default Apr 05, 2019 at 01:07 PM
  #21
((((((((((( sinking ))))))))))))

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Default Apr 06, 2019 at 12:27 PM
  #22
Today was a pretty good day. got to rest a lot and enjoy my tv series but i dont feel as good as i thought i would be for spending the day exactly as i wanted.

i slept for as long as needed but not for too long to waste the day. i spent most of the day watching tv series, too bad my fav ones have ended the season so i turned to other ones but they're not as good as my fav ones. i got to stay most of the day with my cat on my lap while i was watching tv and didnt eat much. not much because i didnt want to or i wasnt hungry but because since my parents are on a diet they dont keep at home the junk food im used to. it may be a good thing but i dont get to appreciate it much.

i didnt spend much time with my parents, but maybe i'll make up for it tonight. i hope tomorrow will be better than today. i feel low and sad but im not sure why…. i actually feel kind of glad my routine will be back on monday.

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Default Apr 06, 2019 at 02:19 PM
  #23
Hello there Sinking,

Just a quick word 'cause I'm in the middle of a batch of paperwork (!)

Sometimes I've found that if I pay too much attention to exactly how I'm feeling at every moment it can be counterproductive and I find myself worrying, "Oh, I'm feeling down. Don't know why. Omigod... what's happening," and so forth.

Whereas if I just sort of shut down my thoughts and go about my business for the day sometimes happiness will just come and settle on my shoulder like a butterfly.

May that happen with you. And your cat!
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Default Apr 06, 2019 at 02:38 PM
  #24
I'm really happy that you were able to enjoy yourself and to relax today, sinking! Sometimes it's just nice to have a "lazy day" and just try to enjoy ourselves and relax as much as we can! I feel like that's VERY important as well and I'm REALLY HAPPY that you were able to do that! I completely agree with what Mopey has already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to him if you can and want! He always gives such great advice to everyone! Just try not to focus on how you're feeling right now! Just focus on WHAT YOU'RE DOING! Of course your feelings are VERY IMPORTANT as well but we can't fully control them! I'd suggest to just focus on yourself for a bit and a while and see how it goes from there! Perhaps things will get a little bit better without you even realizing it that thhings are getting a little bit better! Even if you don't, that's ok! Feelings are just what they are. They're feelings. We can't fully control them, but we CAN decide how to deal with them and I feel like it's VERY IMPORTANT not to let us be dominated by them! I hope reading all of this will make you feel a little bit better! Just ACCEPT how are you feeling and try to move on as much as you can! I feel like ACCEPTANCE is the key or at least a VERY IMPORTANT elemento to consider when we're learning how to deal with our feelings! That's just my opinion, though! I'm not an expert AT ALL! I may be completely wrong! I feel like that's something that you may want to talk about with your therapist next week! Keep fighting and keep trying your best as much as you can! That's all we can do after all and it's ALWAYS MORE THAN ENOUGH! KEEP FIGHTING AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! You're strong, you know that! We all know that! Please remember that! Keep repeating that to yourself until YOU BELIEVE IT because IT IS TRUE and YOU KNOW IT! KEEP FIGHTING! YOU ROCK, MY FRIEND! Please let us know how it goes and keep us updated as much as you can! You know we all care about you here! You know we all love you here! Feel free to vent and write here as much as you need and want! You know we won't judge you! I promise you that! Keep fighting! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! You're an AWESOME, STRONG WARRIOR! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Sending many hugs to you, sinking!
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Default Apr 06, 2019 at 02:45 PM
  #25
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Default Apr 07, 2019 at 12:40 PM
  #26
I know im often overthinking, overanalyzing and overly introspective but thats why im writing about it here, so that i get things out of my head and i leave them behind as much as possible.

today was better than yesterday. i slept less but i got to watch more of my (real) fav tv series with my cat with me. i had lunch and im going to have dinner with my parents and they seem in a better mood than yesterday too.

i took a nice long shower and i still didnt get to eat much junk but i went a bought my fav chocolate for next week when i went to get my meds.

im thinking about telling my mom theres this coworker i like at work (i even told my friend on friday night when we met for dinner - and she opened up about some of her problems too and even cried a little and i was feeling so bad for her i offered to hug her), but i dont want to give my mom false hopes that im going to have a normal life (cause i wont anyway). so if anything happens i'll tell her but until then i'll keep it for myself. i know maybe she'd like for us to share positive things like these but as i said, i dont want her to get disappointed if things go wrong and i also dont want having to admit to her yet another failure. it would double hurt.

tomorrow my work and my routine will be back. im not as displeased as last sunday night. i guess i did well spending the weekend as i did. too bad i wont be able to do it next week because i'll have the course on sat (but hopefully it will be as interesting as last time so that it will be worth it). but after week 7 and week 8 i'll have a few breaks (holidays) and i hope it will help me not feeling so tired and fatigued with work. i'll also have a meeting with my T, my supervisors and humane resources this wed. but i think it will only be a waste of time. i have nothing to tell them anyway….

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Default Apr 07, 2019 at 12:46 PM
  #27
[I have nothing to tell them anyway….]

You can just keep them up to date on what you're doing day to day. You don't have to be going through a crisis to check in. I imagine they'll be as happy as I am to see you doing better.
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