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Old 04-21-2019, 07:45 AM #11
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

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Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
At this point, it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. I know nothing will ever be fair and I will get shafted in the end EVERY SINGLE TIME, but this has reached a level of unfairness that I'm surprised the fabric of the universe hasn't started ripping apart. In fact, my chair literally just fell apart and I had to put it back together before even writing this. It's like ripping off the bandaid and seeing you have a bullet wound...you know it'll likely hurt but then you see it's a mortal wound. Should have just kept the bandaid on.

If this is some sort of test, then I failed long ago. Dear Universe, you CAN STOP NOW. I have no faith. I have no hope. Did I do something unspeakable in a former life? Why else are you punishing me? WHAT DID I DO? I just want to know. I just want to know why. I just want to have a reason to stop crying. I've cried four or five times today. I can't sleep. I'm so tired but can I go to sleep? It'll just be worse when I wake up.

I just want to know why. That's all. What can I do?
You did nothing wrong. I know it hurts.

TBH I am feeling let down, again, myself today

I tried and I got let down again. Did all the right things but I guess it takes two. If I didn't try then I would have never known. From experience I know the sorrow and sadness will pass.

I am feeling lonely never being able to find that special someone. (Like others do)

I am trying to emote it out. Grieving is hard when someone is playing with your affections. I am attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable, I think.

At one time I found a good space of being happy single, I think it would be best to get back to it. I find it sad to think that I will never have that special person because I am too scared to try.

I don't know what the future holds but I feel very sad that I seem to be excluded from the joy of a close loving relationship.
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Old 04-21-2019, 08:00 AM #12
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

I think the root is being attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable. You can even be in a supposedly loving relationship and still be with someone emotionally unavailable.
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Old 04-21-2019, 09:57 AM #13
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

Theyíre not emotionally unavailable, theyíre just literally unavailable. THATíS the problem. Quit being nice to me at all unless youíre actually single. But of course anyone worth dating is never going to be single, at least when Iím not around. And itís just knowing I lost my only chance because thereís something wrong with me.
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Old 04-21-2019, 09:59 AM #14
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

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Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones View Post
Theyíre not emotionally unavailable, theyíre just literally unavailable. THATíS the problem. Quit being nice to me at all unless youíre actually single. But of course anyone worth dating is never going to be single, at least when Iím not around. And itís just knowing I lost my only chance because thereís something wrong with me.
Why do you think that?
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Old 04-21-2019, 10:07 AM #15
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

Because thatís what always happens. I meet someone that in an alternate universe we might have been a good match but theyíre already married or taken. And if someoneís worth dating they would be dating someone. A big part of the reason why Iím single is because my ex did not find me dateable. You know, after spending years with me and figuring out he couldnít even live with me because Iím so awful.
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Old 04-21-2019, 12:02 PM #16
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

Well this is funny that my name here is luvyrself. Loving yourself first means that you have healthy self esteem, eg confidence in yourself so that you dont feel like a black hole without a significant other. You might have great respect for yourself yet still feel lonely,but you still enjoy life when you are alone.
The reason this comes up all the time is that when we go into a relationship without a healthy regard for ourselves, our lack of self esteem is likely to hurt the relationship, eg suck the life out of it,create problems.
We cant always choose what order our needs will be met in life. Sometimes we might meet a partner before we have a career or some other kind of fulfillment, but I think things go much more smoothly in a relationship when we are first more fulfilled on our own.
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Old 04-21-2019, 12:39 PM #17
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

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Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
Well this is funny that my name here is luvyrself. Loving yourself first means that you have healthy self esteem, eg confidence in yourself so that you dont feel like a black hole without a significant other. You might have great respect for yourself yet still feel lonely,but you still enjoy life when you are alone.
The reason this comes up all the time is that when we go into a relationship without a healthy regard for ourselves, our lack of self esteem is likely to hurt the relationship, eg suck the life out of it,create problems.
We cant always choose what order our needs will be met in life. Sometimes we might meet a partner before we have a career or some other kind of fulfillment, but I think things go much more smoothly in a relationship when we are first more fulfilled on our own.
Thanks for posting.

I have a healthy relationship with myself until I come onto contact with a potential suitor.

I seem to like emotionally unavailable men. It goes wrong then I am back to square one trying to pick myself back up.

I am not sure why I can't feel happy with someone who is available?
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Old 04-21-2019, 02:07 PM #18
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

I would just like to have someone to hang out with, care about and be cared about, and share bad and good news with etc. so it isnít always bottled up inside. I canít get that from just friends as they all have their own families. And I guess Iím a bad person for quitting my job to go back to school to get a much better job? I lost so much purpose and social contact, but when I did that I still had my ex... It was for the greater good, so why am I still the villain if I temporarily needed more? With the job I had, I WAS a much better person. The problem was I finally had a personality and was trying to be more true to my gender identity. Which of course made me more unlovable for some reason. And leaving to get certified to be a teacher should have made me more attractive, right? And I guess I have no right to be really frustrated treated like a child and rarely getting to make executive decisions even though the students come to me for that. I guess like usual, I canít have negative emotions without them possibly used against me. Itís like I make a difficult but important decision to improve my life and I get screwed over as hard as possible. And damn...no mercy.

I really resent the idea that I have to earn the privilege of being loved at all. Having to always be good enough to earn love is one of the main reasons why self esteem is so low. So it doesnít really help to point out that Iím still not good enough.
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Old 04-21-2019, 05:36 PM #19
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

Quote:
Originally Posted by luvyrself View Post
Well this is funny that my name here is luvyrself. Loving yourself first means that you have healthy self esteem, eg confidence in yourself so that you dont feel like a black hole without a significant other. You might have great respect for yourself yet still feel lonely,but you still enjoy life when you are alone.
The reason this comes up all the time is that when we go into a relationship without a healthy regard for ourselves, our lack of self esteem is likely to hurt the relationship, eg suck the life out of it,create problems.
We cant always choose what order our needs will be met in life. Sometimes we might meet a partner before we have a career or some other kind of fulfillment, but I think things go much more smoothly in a relationship when we are first more fulfilled on our own.
Iím not exactly sure where I am in this. Thanks for clarifying.

S&Có As troublesome as I have been to my h, he still says he loves me. I sure didnít earn his love. When someone loves you, itís really hard to push them away even when you try.
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Old 04-21-2019, 09:55 PM #20
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Default Re: Stressed out and feeling down

That would mean that I loved someone but wasnít truly loved in return. That makes me sad.
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