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Chat Moderator
Member Since Feb 2016
Location: Doing donuts in the parking lot
Posts: 4,270
8 10k hugs
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#1
I've gone to people. I've told them what's happening. It doesn't matter. I'm still alone. I come here, and even if I do get a response, I feel so damn alone.
It was brought to my attention that we should only journal and seek a listening ear here. With my understanding, that seems to defeat what I'm attempting to do, what I'm wanting out of this. Therefore, speaking anymore is pretty much meaningless unless I find myself desiring one or both of those things. I shouldn't say that I don't desire those things. I suppose I'm greedy and desire more, though I am wrong to expect it. I can't even get more out of the medical community "dedicated" to helping the mentally ill. Yeah, so dedicated.... I've accepted that I'm a failed project. People have tried and I have failed them. Every person, every time. At the moment, my thoughts are dark in ways I can't express without showing just how ****ed up I am. I can't say this will be my last post, but I don't care or see the point in talking. It does nothing. __________________ "Give him his freedom and he'll remember his humanity." |
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Anonymous40127, Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Fuzzybear, KD1980, MickeyCheeky, Mopey, Rohag, sinking, StripedTapir, Thirty shades
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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#2
You know what's funny? I remember it's me who told you this forum should be only a journal or a support group. It's funny, my inner critic tells always tells me
- You lacked enough social contact as a kid. You'll never get what you want. Just give up. And my behavior changed last few days ago because the surge to quit is stronger than ever. Else I would have never spread negativity. |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, MickeyCheeky
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#3
You know what really sucks?
To have a curious and talented mind, which could almost be considered as brilliant, slowly destroyed because the people who were supposed to raise you did it the wrong way. I mean, I had the passion, I had the ability, I had the grades, I had the support from teachers. Why years later must I not be able to follow my dreams? What? Because I almost hallucinated myself to death three years ago and I still think the government is spying on me? What happened to a could be neurosurgeon? Why did others' idiocy had to affect him? Now what about the fact that it's him who needs psychosurgery to relieve anxiety? If nothing else, I was born normal and with enough hard work I could achieve anything. Now I am just another nobody. |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, KD1980, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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MickeyCheeky
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 1,520 hugs
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#4
So, although I am not you and thus can never fully grok what you are going through, I believe you have described an existence where you are faced with a choice between living with your psychosis, hallucinations and all, or medicating yourself into a state that is unacceptable to you. I have read about a number of other people ffaced with this choice and I totally agree that it sucks.
I wish I had the answer, but of course I don’t. In the meantime, even though it doesn’t change your underlying situation, if it helps at all to scream out your frustration and pain on the screen, please do As I understand it, that’s what we’re here for ((((((HUGS))))). |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, KD1980, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, MickeyCheeky
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,331
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
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#5
((((((((((( Sò leigheas ))))))))) __________________ |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, MickeyCheeky, Thirty shades
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, MickeyCheeky, Mopey
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
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#6
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Sò leigheas! You didn't disappoint or hurt ANYONE, my friend! Certainly not me and I hope you know that! Please don't be so hard on yourself! It's not your fault if you're going through all of this! Of course you'd feel better right way if you could just "snap out" of it like some peple may think, but of course we both know that's not possible. Please keep fighting, my friend. There's a good life ahead of you. There's at least a perfectly normal life that you can live just like everyone else does! There's nothing, I mean NOTHING that you're lacking that other people do have! You're just as IMPORTANT and you're just as WORTH IT as everyone else in this world is, ok, my friend? PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! It IS true! I PROMISE YOU THAT! YOU MATTER! Please keep writing here as much as you need to and want to. You know we ALWAYS appreciate hearing from you! We DO want to know how are you doing because WE CARE! Please don't EVER doubt that and let us know if there's anything, ANYTHING at all, that we can do to help you and support you! I promise you that we'll all try our best to help you in any way we can, even if you want us just to listen to what you have to say! Please NEVER give up hope, my friend! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! You deserve it! You deserve to get better and to feel good! You deserve to live an happy, fulfilling life just like everyone else does! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! We want you to get better and we're all rooting for you to WIN this battle! You're a WARRIOR and you WILL come out on top! I'm sure of that! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Sò leigheas, my dear, sweet friend
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Thirty shades
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, Mopey
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#7
Quote:
__________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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Mopey, Thirty shades
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Mopey
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,799
(SuperPoster!)
5 16.2k hugs
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#8
So many people who treat us badly Só leigheas.
Much love to you |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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