Realization

Contrary to what my psychiatrist tells me ("You're totally free from any disorder, it's just your body's coping mechanism instead of a biological disease"), if I accept I am mentally ill (politically correct term "crazy") and there's no running away from it and there are no chances for me to become a hugely successful person, because I really lack the support, I will live a meaningful life.

What more can I ask for?

I'd rather not regret things my situation or illness does not allow me to have.

And screw those who view me in the either extremes.

Hi TheLonelyChemist, Although is very difficult for me in my life to accept also the cards I had been dealt (divorce, loss of my children, and my mental disorder) and even Today I fight the current of opinions, because I refuse to allow people opinions shape my life and you should keep moving forward and never stop to chase your dreams.

Big hug,

Ps. I say this while having to manage my own inner crisis and crap.

I'll change the direction. Doing something related to groundbreaking research? Nope. Something much more easier and doable. Cause honestly, life can be much different from your top expectations.

People who don’t know us can’t have accurate perceptions of us

Hugs Chem

Giving a theory of everything would always be my dream, but if you can't just push through, I don't think there's a point in thinking you'll do something very great.

I think is just may be the way I am wired, so apologize for saying the wrong thing sincerely, I think you guys are right we should satisfy our hearts and that should enough.

Lots of hugs Fuzzy Bear and Chem

It is good to be positive but sometimes that is an obstacle for full growth. Keep going, my friend..

Just because you may not be able to give a theory of everything - why does that mean you cant do something great?

Then I really don't know what I am supposed to do. And giving a theory of everything is not an obstacle, the obstacle is pushing through school with maximum grades. I don't think it is possible, due to many reasons.


It's not like that I want to only have a BSc degree and do nothing related to science, but unfortunately if I see the big picture I don't think I'll make through PhD, then as a job as an associate professor. Because I have difficulty interacting -- or, rather, difficulty interacting as other kids do -- I'll never get a position in the academia anyway.

That is okay Captain. You should not allow other people to control your life. All I was trying to say is that it is me who cannot be successful.

Thanks for the support.

I never said it was an obstacle - you said you could not do it .. so I just went with that.

Social behaviors can be learned .. if that's all that's holding you back. Simply get the counseling you need to learn the social behaviors you feel you lack. Bipolar (if thats what you reference) is not so much a social thing though as it is learning to deal with your own mind bc of the way it behaves so erratically it can be frustrating and that comes out in your behavior .. as do the manic and depressive symptoms.

Borderline Personality Disorder (which appears similar to bipolar) is very much related to societal interaction as much as it is dealing with your mind - because it is literally part of your personality. It is how you have learned to deal with life.

So .. Borderline .. can be taught societal functioning skills. Bipolar is tricky bc it deals with rapid thoughts that don't necessarily have any purpose .. those thoughts can be hard to slow down enough to control behaviors. But - it can be done.

Point is .. it may take you longer, but if it is only societal behaviors holding you back .. that is not insurmountable.

I really did not know about counseling. Thank you, I will get a counselor once I think it's appropriate.

So I guess the most wise thing to do would be try. Thank you.

I have had acute psychosis. I wasn't told what else I have. Might be cyclothymia (my own observation) or something else, but not bipolar disorder. I think I may have BPD but even psychiatrists cannot diagnose themselves so I think I should stay quiet about my diagnosis because frankly I am not told.

TheLonelyChemist, We will overcome and meet our destinies each has its own road to travel, but better to say we gave it our best and fail (better to succeed), than dragging that what if question mark around mate.

Thank you, it is a good advise.

I try my best but still end up calculating.

You're welcome ❤
Yes .. I went many years without knowing about counseling. Glad someone (me in this case - but wouldn't have mattered who - it can be the tool to take the hopelessness away ❤) finally told ya about it. ❤

Yes - even BPD includes psychosis as a symptom. There are many others things things as well. So, I agree, probably best to wait til you get seen by a psychiatrist. ❤

Thank you again.

*hugs* You're welcome