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LoganJoan
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Default May 04, 2019 at 05:44 PM
  #1
Well, about 3 years ago I was working a housekeeping job where I was a bum! I was sleeping in my car and felt that I might have smelled, I kept my clothes clean as possible, and took bird baths.

I felt very self conscious that maybe the girls who worked there that I didn’t have any contact with, may have said I smelled me, I was afraid I was maybe talked about and viewed as a bum. I drove a raggedy car and was probably at my lowest in life.

I stayed at the job for 3 months as I was attending school too. Fast forward, I will be graduating this week receiving my bachelor in Nursing. I am currently working as a Home Heath Aide plus I’ve been interning for about 4 months and will be starting as a RN after I graduate. I have a nice studio apartment, I’m clean, my appearance and all of that improved. And I have a guaranteed job waiting on me.

However, I just fear the thought of being called out and embarrassed about it.

I keep thinking about what if I run into these people again? I know this is ridiculous but I have always dealt with depression and anxiety
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FearLess47
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Default May 04, 2019 at 05:56 PM
  #2
Hi LoganJoan,
What I see here is a kick @ss story of survival, perseverance, resilience and triumph. Maybe you smelled. But you know what? You did what you had to do to survive. How could one stay daisy fresh while living in a car? My guess is that if anyone from that time sees you it can mean so many things...they think, "oh, I was wrong" or "wow, look at her now" or "man, I am struggling and I wonder if she notices..."

Perspective. And yes, over thinking will be the death of us. But it is okay. Put it to better use. THINK about how far you've come. Think about any lessons you learned that wouldn't have otherwise. And think about what a cool thing it is to suffer, keep going, and keep on going anyway....

FearLess47

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downandlonely
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Default May 04, 2019 at 06:00 PM
  #3
That is incredible that you worked your way out of homelessness and now have a place to stay, degree, and a job! Honestly, I would concentrate on how far you've come.
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Default May 04, 2019 at 06:21 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganJoan View Post
Well, about 3 years ago I was working a housekeeping job where I was a bum! I was sleeping in my car and felt that I might have smelled, I kept my clothes clean as possible, and took bird baths.

I felt very self conscious that maybe the girls who worked there that I didn’t have any contact with, may have said I smelled me, I was afraid I was maybe talked about and viewed as a bum. I drove a raggedy car and was probably at my lowest in life.

I stayed at the job for 3 months as I was attending school too. Fast forward, I will be graduating this week receiving my bachelor in Nursing. I am currently working as a Home Heath Aide plus I’ve been interning for about 4 months and will be starting as a RN after I graduate. I have a nice studio apartment, I’m clean, my appearance and all of that improved. And I have a guaranteed job waiting on me.

However, I just fear the thought of being called out and embarrassed about it.

I keep thinking about what if I run into these people again? I know this is ridiculous but I have always dealt with depression and anxiety
I have been homeless before. It's very hard to climb back out of - many never make it out. Be proud of yourself!

As far as how you smelled back then .. I am reminded of an episode of Little House on the Prairie. Charles Ingles was having to get odd jobs wherever he could find them in order for the family to keep up with the bills they had. As a result - when he came home, he stunk. Well .. apparently, Mrs Olson spoke of this in the family home bc Nelly Olson came to school picking on Laura Ingles telling Laura her dad smelled like a horse. This upset Laura, she ran off crying and didnt go to school that day. When her Dad came home, he spoke to her and she told him what had happened.

Her Dad said, "Well, people who complain how other people smell, have nothing else to do but stick their noses in the air all day long!"

That got Laura laughing and all was good. Next day when Nelly started picking on Laura again, Laura punched her in the nose and said "My Pa says people who complain about how others smell have nothing to do but stick their nose up in the air all day long - well everytime you stick it up at me from now on .. I'm gonna punch it!" And with that she walked in the schoolhouse.

So - while I do not condone violence, the moral of the story is true. People stick their noses in other people's business when they've nothing else to do ... and when they do that, we just need to make them eat their words by showing them that our adversity does not make us weak, but strong ... and that's what you did!

Be proud! ❤

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Default May 04, 2019 at 09:35 PM
  #5
Congratulations Am I overthinking it’s a wonderful feeling to succeed after difficultly. Enjoy your journey and show others “it’s possible” journal your successes and be a light in a dark world. Life needs more successes and overcomers ignore the intrusive thoughts Am I overthinking there of the enemy, trying to grab you back into despair. Your “out now” never return except to know where you’ve been and what it was like; however, that’s a memory a past which can never repeat it self unless one “chooses” to return to it. Once again...congrats Am I overthinking. I’m happy for you.

The intrusive thoughts will always pull you back into the past. Seek forward not back. Am I overthinkingAm I overthinkingAm I overthinking

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Default May 05, 2019 at 11:32 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoganJoan View Post
Well, about 3 years ago I was working a housekeeping job where I was a bum! I was sleeping in my car and felt that I might have smelled, I kept my clothes clean as possible, and took bird baths.

I felt very self conscious that maybe the girls who worked there that I didn’t have any contact with, may have said I smelled me, I was afraid I was maybe talked about and viewed as a bum. I drove a raggedy car and was probably at my lowest in life.

I stayed at the job for 3 months as I was attending school too. Fast forward, I will be graduating this week receiving my bachelor in Nursing. I am currently working as a Home Heath Aide plus I’ve been interning for about 4 months and will be starting as a RN after I graduate. I have a nice studio apartment, I’m clean, my appearance and all of that improved. And I have a guaranteed job waiting on me.

However, I just fear the thought of being called out and embarrassed about it.

I keep thinking about what if I run into these people again? I know this is ridiculous but I have always dealt with depression and anxiety
I believe those people do have a chance of calling you out for, back then, having a rather unattractive appearance. However, I believe that they'd more probably rather see the new you who's improved a lot.
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