cry, cry

what is the point in posting about my suffering? perhaps because I want to feel validated over the internet. I suppose that's it, or because I may be suffering so much it's hard to keep it inside. I don't really pity myself, I pity my lack of opportunities and experiences. regardless of how I may be feeling, it will pass. in some time, or another. I will have to remember that.
I seem to be sailing and floating away from my life. hard to believe I'm still getting out of bed every day. my loneliness and depressive episodes seem to be getting worse. every day passes me by, and I remain alone. Abandonment seems definite... and I wonder how long it'll be before I really crash.

Hear ye the words of the Star Goddess;
she in the dust of whose feet are the hosts
of heaven, and whose body encircles the universe

I who am the beauty of the green earth,
the white moon among the stars, and the mystery
of the waters call unto thy soul;
Arise, and come unto me.

I am the soul of nature who gives life to the universe.
From Me all things proceed, and unto Me all things must return.
Before My face, beloved of gods and of men, let thine
innermost divine self be enfolded in the rapture of the infinite.

Let My worship be within the heart that rejoices,
for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.
Therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion,
honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you.

To thou who thinkest to seek Me, know that thy seeking and
yearning shall avail thee not unless thou knowest the Mystery.
If that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee,
thou wilt never find it without.

For behold, I have been with thee from the beginning; and
I am that which is attained at the end of desire."

"Charge of the Goddess" Doreen Valiente

(((((((BRIDE)))))) Try to find something beautiful to look at, to listen to, to enjoy.

((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))